I invoke this, drowning in my velvet sea...I chose you, in hopes you'd help me breath...Maybe im too obsessive & over-protective...Maybe im too-less-of-a-shadow-&-smile-neglective...Its deeper in your eyes I should have looked...A privledged chance I could have took...So I say, So I pretend, So I FUCKING LIE (to myself)...So I lay, at the end, in a happy disguise (I NEED HELP)...& sometimes I hear your seductive whispers in the air...& sometimes I close my mind & picture you standing there...& sometimes I cry with the lights off & hold your dress...Wishing i could hold it all together & just forget...My vanished joy, I MISS YOU SO MUCH...Ashley im sorry for us that love wasn't enough...(So this is it)...This is me the lil blue boy with a broken heart...(& This was then)...This was you, my abused angel, before our cracked lives fell apart...& I'd wake for that scarlet sunrise once more...I'd say 'I LOVE YOU" when you walked barefoot on the shore...Remember our wedding day, how perfect it was suppost to be...Just us, staring with the nightsky, wishing it more then fantasy...This is the last time I hate myself for never letting go...The fallen child of a past dream losing your hold...Now i'll smile, even if it wasn't meant to be...My destined conclusion of a story sold so beutifully...