Verse + Chorus to a new Song

[KODOGG]

Spittin-Heat Grip-N-Release on Fuccin-Fags //
"Bustin-Mo-Caps" then a "Coke"-Phein //
Livin'-This-Broke-Dream 'n triying ta' Come-Up //
Trying not ta' get Runned-Up at the wrong place-n-time //
Ma Spits Violent Cuz I blaze-N-Rhyme Like a "Dictionary"-On-Fire //
"Roastin" Mo Weed Then "Spinnin-Tires" //
Most deez Clowns Want KriM-Ta-Retire but I-Wont //
I spit So much It's Like Dick-N-Ya-Throat You-Gon-Choke verse-KO //
This Turf-I-Own, I "Charge" worse then "San-Deigo" //
I got a Plan-Ta-Take-Over 'n It Dosnt Involve Back-Stabbin-Faggets //
Sacks-Im-Stackin In Phat-Quanities //
Homeis Always Wrongin-Me 'n The Guns always Bondin-Me 'n ma finger //
let the arouma Of death Linger //

[ Like a Hi-ck Chewin Tabac-co, K-O Got Mad-Spits ]
[ Bustin On You Faggots, Spittin Verbs 'n Nouns like MadLibs ]
[ Tag Shit, Put a Bag Ova It 'n Squeeze 'n Release ]

==============================================

I think Ima Change the Chorus.. And maybe throw in more Metaphores / Punchlines in the verse, cuz the second verse is gon' be full of 'em.. Leave yo .2 cents.

 

[Lil Rebel]

...reply...

not feelin the verse or the chorus
probably won't be feelin the beat either

and remember all the quotations and shit mean nothin in the studio...juss do ya thang

 

[KODOGG]

^^ This aint the studio tho, And im askin' ya' opinions text wise.. If yo' got a special ear you'd be able to imagion 'em quotations (METAPHORES) when you listen' to it too..

@ Tadou Thx bro, what part's you aint feelin?

 

[KODOGG]

Haha.. I'll make it happen lol.. So jus' the structure of the verse/chorus it's self is somethin' ya' dont like?

 

[Lil Rebel]

...reply...

If you juss sat down and read it
it doesn't make sense and the flow is way off
your metaphores were simple
I can't spit this verse to a beat even if I tried

 

[KODOGG]

Aight I think Ima Trash this verse then, Thx for the feedback y'all.. You can keep 'em comin' if you'd like.

 

[Greg Double]

i think you got good ideas, but i cant really decipher that siht either.. im lookin for a pattern of rhymes or syllables or SUMTHIN but maybe you got a style i aint herd yet.. who knows..

this aint ya best shit dogg.. but stay up and do it again