Things are going well during the heavy petting portion of making out. She makes the first move, unzipping your pants and having a go at your pink steel. (Or mocha thunder, for all the brothers)
"This is awesome!" you proclaim as you are both getting hot and bothered.
She finishes up and says, "Now me"
You make your way down between her legs to show her how much you rock in the sack. Gently pulling her panties down in sweet anticipation. You know you are in.
Then a small forest springs out from its containment a la Scary Movie.
"Whoa," you say, not really thinking.
"What?" she inquires with a confused look.
"Nothing, you are just so hot right now," as you try and save yourself. And you think to yourself, "So hot because you're wearing wool shorts underneath your skivvies."
Its too late, you're already committed. Nothing to do but dive in with a hope and a prayer. You know you are in for a challenge, but you are a guy. You've been through worse. Like when that drunk girl puked on you after seeing if she could deep throat. There is no way this could be any worse than that.
Not even a minute into giving her a tongue lashing, you feel a tickle in your nose. Seems as though your gals short and curlies are doing a number on your nostrils.
You move your head real quick.
"AhCHOO!"
"Oh my, bless you" she offers.
"Thanks" you say, making sure you don't touch her with the hand you just snotted in. "Damn," you say to yourself, "I should keep a bottle of hand sanitizer next to the bed."
Back you go, working like a champ. Nothing is going to stop you from ruling all over the place. She moves her hips, getting into the moment. Forcefully pulling your head into her, almost suffocating you. Then you feel the tickle again. Not in your nose this time.
In your throat.
Panic. Its like eating popcorn and you get a husk stuck in your throat, only now it's a pube. Shit, shit, SHIT! You can't go on because you are going to cough up a storm. You can't stop, because she'll wonder whats up.
What to do?
1) Try breathing heavily, but don't hyper ventilate. Just do it like you are panting from the exertion of what you were doing. Hopefully this will dislodge your little problem, and you can peel it off your tongue with the utmost discretion.
2) Clear your throat. This almost never works, and usually makes it worse. Sometimes it just moves from the back of your throat to your nasal cavity and makes the situation worse. Snorting and dry heaving tend to kill the mood.
3) Take your game to the next step. Spit. Not that snot spit. Just the saliva spit. Make sure you get it from the back so when you hork, you bring your little friend out from the back. Do it a couple times if you need to, but always be ready for a slap. Some chicks just don't dig the spit. Come up with something fast in that case. "But baby, I was just thinking of you. I was trying to make it comfortable when I do this," then give her the old standby. The Freshman Finger Bang. Hit her G spot, and you are home free.
The choice is yours, so choose wisely. And never, EVER let her see you pull a pube from out of your teeth or tongue.
Guys who don't go down on chicks are not real men.
"This is awesome!" you proclaim as you are both getting hot and bothered.
She finishes up and says, "Now me"
You make your way down between her legs to show her how much you rock in the sack. Gently pulling her panties down in sweet anticipation. You know you are in.
Then a small forest springs out from its containment a la Scary Movie.
"Whoa," you say, not really thinking.
"What?" she inquires with a confused look.
"Nothing, you are just so hot right now," as you try and save yourself. And you think to yourself, "So hot because you're wearing wool shorts underneath your skivvies."
Its too late, you're already committed. Nothing to do but dive in with a hope and a prayer. You know you are in for a challenge, but you are a guy. You've been through worse. Like when that drunk girl puked on you after seeing if she could deep throat. There is no way this could be any worse than that.
Not even a minute into giving her a tongue lashing, you feel a tickle in your nose. Seems as though your gals short and curlies are doing a number on your nostrils.
You move your head real quick.
"AhCHOO!"
"Oh my, bless you" she offers.
"Thanks" you say, making sure you don't touch her with the hand you just snotted in. "Damn," you say to yourself, "I should keep a bottle of hand sanitizer next to the bed."
Back you go, working like a champ. Nothing is going to stop you from ruling all over the place. She moves her hips, getting into the moment. Forcefully pulling your head into her, almost suffocating you. Then you feel the tickle again. Not in your nose this time.
In your throat.
Panic. Its like eating popcorn and you get a husk stuck in your throat, only now it's a pube. Shit, shit, SHIT! You can't go on because you are going to cough up a storm. You can't stop, because she'll wonder whats up.
What to do?
1) Try breathing heavily, but don't hyper ventilate. Just do it like you are panting from the exertion of what you were doing. Hopefully this will dislodge your little problem, and you can peel it off your tongue with the utmost discretion.
2) Clear your throat. This almost never works, and usually makes it worse. Sometimes it just moves from the back of your throat to your nasal cavity and makes the situation worse. Snorting and dry heaving tend to kill the mood.
3) Take your game to the next step. Spit. Not that snot spit. Just the saliva spit. Make sure you get it from the back so when you hork, you bring your little friend out from the back. Do it a couple times if you need to, but always be ready for a slap. Some chicks just don't dig the spit. Come up with something fast in that case. "But baby, I was just thinking of you. I was trying to make it comfortable when I do this," then give her the old standby. The Freshman Finger Bang. Hit her G spot, and you are home free.
The choice is yours, so choose wisely. And never, EVER let her see you pull a pube from out of your teeth or tongue.
Guys who don't go down on chicks are not real men.
