Tittie Fuccing
- Thread starter Tim
- Start date
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A: They don’t want to wear out the camel.
Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A: They don’t want to wear out the camel.
Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.
The mother said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?!"
The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.
The mother said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?!"
The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"
This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."
A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have on of those?"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."
Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I just won $50,000"
Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"
The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?"
"Yes," Says grandpa.
"Then go fuck yourself"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."
A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have on of those?"
Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No."
"Then you can't have one."
Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I just won $50,000"
Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"
The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?"
"Yes," Says grandpa.
"Then go fuck yourself"
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
A guy is in a bus station, and goes into the men's room to piss. When he walks in he sees a leprechaun with the most enormous dick he had ever seen. As he pees, he cannot avoid spying on the giant member of the tiny man dressed in green. The leprechaun zips up and the man asks him if he is indeed a real leprechaun.
The little man says, "Aye me boy, I'm a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
"Oh neat," comes the reply, "What do I need to do?"
"Well, havin' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the ladies, the thing not fittin' and all... I'll grant you your three wishes if you wouldn't mind suckin' me dick until I come." The man is a bit taken aback, but agrees, because he knows he can wish for anything he wants later. After the green man has come, he starts to walk away.
The guy says, "Hey, what about my three wishes?" The leprechaun asks, "How old are you me boy?"
"25," he says.
"Aren't you a bit too old to still be believin' in leprechauns?"
The little man says, "Aye me boy, I'm a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
"Oh neat," comes the reply, "What do I need to do?"
"Well, havin' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the ladies, the thing not fittin' and all... I'll grant you your three wishes if you wouldn't mind suckin' me dick until I come." The man is a bit taken aback, but agrees, because he knows he can wish for anything he wants later. After the green man has come, he starts to walk away.
The guy says, "Hey, what about my three wishes?" The leprechaun asks, "How old are you me boy?"
"25," he says.
"Aren't you a bit too old to still be believin' in leprechauns?"
THA WONGS....
> Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The
> nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian,
> white baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"What
> will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and
> says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him
> Sum-Ting Wong."
>
>
> Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The
> nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian,
> white baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"What
> will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and
> says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him
> Sum-Ting Wong."
>
>
Hell Ñaw...
•"¿¿What'z loñg, browñ, añd smelly??"...
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•...¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THA UÑEMPLOYMEÑT LIÑE!!!!!!!..........................................
-HººP
•"¿¿What'z loñg, browñ, añd smelly??"...
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•...¡¡¡¡¡¡¡THA UÑEMPLOYMEÑT LIÑE!!!!!!!..........................................
-HººP
