Things you've learned to not do while high.
- Thread starter TaxMan
- Start date
go to the fuckin hospital. i had to get a TB test cuz some asshole at my school had it and the school made us get tested. So it was gonna be a blood test, and im thinkin "i'll smoke, it'll relax me when i go in there." so i go the SF general, this old ass hospital, sittin up in the TB clinic with raggedy, coughin ass people, waiting to get my blood taken, high as shit. They bring me back there, and start to take my blood. First, they try to take it from my hand, because i told them thats where they got the blood the first time (i had to get two tests, once every 3 months). Lo and behold, no blood comes out! So the nurse starts diggin around in my hand with the needle, trying to find a hit, and it doesnt hurt, it just makes me cringe, makes the hair stand up on my neck. After 15 minutes of this, they only get half of what they need. So they take the needle out, start to put it in my arm. it was little better this time, still goin slow, shes still moving the needle around, and the whole thing makes me nauseous. Another nurse is watching this, and im sweatin bullets at this point, and she goes "you look a little distraught, do u need some water?" she was cool, but the nurse taking my blood says "you know, you should have told me to take it from ur arm the first time." oh yeah bitch, cuz thats MY job to know that.
I'm hella serious tho.....and it was all just odd circumstances......my uncle died.....he had cancer but it was kinda unexpected, like he went to the doctor & got diagnosed and was gone within a month or so. the funeral ended up being on halloween. 
after the service we went to the cemetery and I ended up riding with my cousin. him & his girlfriend are hella smokers so they start rolling a blunt. as I'm smoking I'm already regretting being high. we pull into the cemetery, spray a little cologne but I already know I'm stanking like trees, they light cigs so I started walking up to the site and standing with my other cousins. they're talking about how their heels are sinking into the soft ass grass and I say me too. dumbass, they're talking about high heels. :hurt: I keep my mouth shut after that. at least I wasn't the one making a grand entrance, that was my other cousin who decided to drive his crotch rocked up there making hella damn noise. he actually wasn't going to come cuz he doesn't like funerals (his dad passed when he was young) but the rest of us kept calling him nonstop. they start the service thing and its a catholic burial, so everything sounded like mindless chanting. I was like "wtf is going on? everyone turned to zombies". I'm standing by extended family rather than immediate, but I don't really realize it til the end. I go to my mom to be with her as she pays her final respects, which ends up being a few tears and saying "butthead" to the casket, then placing a lily on top. everyone goes to get back into their cars so I start walking to my cousins car.....shit, its not there. I walk back to the site and the very last of the people are leaving but luckily someone sees me and I get squoze in to the limo (not really a traditional limo, but the funeral ones) and go back to the church for food where I sit in front of my 80 year old grandfather who is sneaking beers into his cup. my uncle was an excellent chef but the food there wasn't that good at all. :ermm:
the whole thing just made me feel stupid instead of high. :eyecross:
after the service we went to the cemetery and I ended up riding with my cousin. him & his girlfriend are hella smokers so they start rolling a blunt. as I'm smoking I'm already regretting being high. we pull into the cemetery, spray a little cologne but I already know I'm stanking like trees, they light cigs so I started walking up to the site and standing with my other cousins. they're talking about how their heels are sinking into the soft ass grass and I say me too. dumbass, they're talking about high heels. :hurt: I keep my mouth shut after that. at least I wasn't the one making a grand entrance, that was my other cousin who decided to drive his crotch rocked up there making hella damn noise. he actually wasn't going to come cuz he doesn't like funerals (his dad passed when he was young) but the rest of us kept calling him nonstop. they start the service thing and its a catholic burial, so everything sounded like mindless chanting. I was like "wtf is going on? everyone turned to zombies". I'm standing by extended family rather than immediate, but I don't really realize it til the end. I go to my mom to be with her as she pays her final respects, which ends up being a few tears and saying "butthead" to the casket, then placing a lily on top. everyone goes to get back into their cars so I start walking to my cousins car.....shit, its not there. I walk back to the site and the very last of the people are leaving but luckily someone sees me and I get squoze in to the limo (not really a traditional limo, but the funeral ones) and go back to the church for food where I sit in front of my 80 year old grandfather who is sneaking beers into his cup. my uncle was an excellent chef but the food there wasn't that good at all. :ermm: the whole thing just made me feel stupid instead of high. :eyecross:
I'm hella serious tho.....and it was all just odd circumstances......my uncle died.....he had cancer but it was kinda unexpected, like he went to the doctor & got diagnosed and was gone within a month or so. the funeral ended up being on halloween. after the service we went to the cemetery and I ended up riding with my cousin. him & his girlfriend are hella smokers so they start rolling a blunt. as I'm smoking I'm already regretting being high. we pull into the cemetery, spray a little cologne but I already know I'm stanking like trees, they light cigs so I started walking up to the site and standing with my other cousins. they're talking about how their heels are sinking into the soft ass grass and I say me too. dumbass, they're talking about high heels. :hurt: I keep my mouth shut after that. at least I wasn't the one making a grand entrance, that was my other cousin who decided to drive his crotch rocked up there making hella damn noise. he actually wasn't going to come cuz he doesn't like funerals (his dad passed when he was young) but the rest of us kept calling him nonstop. they start the service thing and its a catholic burial, so everything sounded like mindless chanting. I was like "wtf is going on? everyone turned to zombies". I'm standing by extended family rather than immediate, but I don't really realize it til the end. I go to my mom to be with her as she pays her final respects, which ends up being a few tears and saying "butthead" to the casket, then placing a lily on top. everyone goes to get back into their cars so I start walking to my cousins car.....shit, its not there. I walk back to the site and the very last of the people are leaving but luckily someone sees me and I get squoze in to the limo (not really a traditional limo, but the funeral ones) and go back to the church for food where I sit in front of my 80 year old grandfather who is sneaking beers into his cup. my uncle was an excellent chef but the food there wasn't that good at all. :ermm:
the whole thing just made me feel stupid instead of high. :eyecross:
after the service we went to the cemetery and I ended up riding with my cousin. him & his girlfriend are hella smokers so they start rolling a blunt. as I'm smoking I'm already regretting being high. we pull into the cemetery, spray a little cologne but I already know I'm stanking like trees, they light cigs so I started walking up to the site and standing with my other cousins. they're talking about how their heels are sinking into the soft ass grass and I say me too. dumbass, they're talking about high heels. :hurt: I keep my mouth shut after that. at least I wasn't the one making a grand entrance, that was my other cousin who decided to drive his crotch rocked up there making hella damn noise. he actually wasn't going to come cuz he doesn't like funerals (his dad passed when he was young) but the rest of us kept calling him nonstop. they start the service thing and its a catholic burial, so everything sounded like mindless chanting. I was like "wtf is going on? everyone turned to zombies". I'm standing by extended family rather than immediate, but I don't really realize it til the end. I go to my mom to be with her as she pays her final respects, which ends up being a few tears and saying "butthead" to the casket, then placing a lily on top. everyone goes to get back into their cars so I start walking to my cousins car.....shit, its not there. I walk back to the site and the very last of the people are leaving but luckily someone sees me and I get squoze in to the limo (not really a traditional limo, but the funeral ones) and go back to the church for food where I sit in front of my 80 year old grandfather who is sneaking beers into his cup. my uncle was an excellent chef but the food there wasn't that good at all. :ermm: the whole thing just made me feel stupid instead of high. :eyecross:
Whats bad about mowing? Get your foot cut off? LOL
One time I thought giving my cat a bath while high would be a great idea, while running the bath water... I came to my senses (thank God!).
lol.....I've been getting the "I shouldn't be smoking" feeling right after I smoke occassionally.....especially if I just veg out in front of the TV at a friends house.
I gave my cat a bath once......ONLY ONCE! I learned my lesson after that! the cat was HELLA stankin and needed a bath or grooming or something, so I put on an old sweater that was kinda thick that I didn't mind getting ripped.....started running water in the bathtub and the cat actually came into the bathroom on its own. I casually closed the door behind him and prepared myself....picked him up, started petting him till he was purring and started to sit down on the tub....I forgot to turn off the water so the claws came out immediatly....then it was about 10 minutes of fighting & chasing until he finally gave up.....he was sitting there in the tub crying like he was the most pitiful thing in the world......it was hillarious :cheeky:
there's nothing better than a wet pussy :classic:
I gave my cat a bath once......ONLY ONCE! I learned my lesson after that! the cat was HELLA stankin and needed a bath or grooming or something, so I put on an old sweater that was kinda thick that I didn't mind getting ripped.....started running water in the bathtub and the cat actually came into the bathroom on its own. I casually closed the door behind him and prepared myself....picked him up, started petting him till he was purring and started to sit down on the tub....I forgot to turn off the water so the claws came out immediatly....then it was about 10 minutes of fighting & chasing until he finally gave up.....he was sitting there in the tub crying like he was the most pitiful thing in the world......it was hillarious :cheeky:
there's nothing better than a wet pussy :classic:
CLASSIC STORY. Almost as good as the time you guys got stoned at the rest stop and one of you gave that guy a rimjob in his car for like ten minutes while the other sat around wondering what the fuck was going on.
Something I've learned never to do while high: Shave my balls. I've cut them twice while shaving them high, once with scissors (while trimming) and once with barber clippers while I was hedging the bottom of the shaft. When it cut the skin, it sounded like a piece of paper being put into a moving fan and shredded. With the scissors, I was pulling on a ball hair and must not have been looking close enough and accidentally clamped down on some wrinklage. It bled both times but not that much.
Something I've learned never to do while high: Shave my balls. I've cut them twice while shaving them high, once with scissors (while trimming) and once with barber clippers while I was hedging the bottom of the shaft. When it cut the skin, it sounded like a piece of paper being put into a moving fan and shredded. With the scissors, I was pulling on a ball hair and must not have been looking close enough and accidentally clamped down on some wrinklage. It bled both times but not that much.
