It started out as a favor to a co-worker of mine who was going out of town for a few days to see her sisters college graduation. She asked me to house sit and I gladly obliged.
I arrived there Wednesday afternoon and watched them head out. Lots of food, alcohol, and the fact she had quite a few porn videos in her house made me a very happy person.
I opened up the food, watched some porn, and drifted off to sleep. I awoke the next morning to one of her dogs licking my face. I wiped off the drool and let them outside. I turned away from the door took a step, looked down and realized I had just stepped in an enormous pile of dog shit.
Not only was it dog shit, but apparently one of the dogs had jumped onto the table, ate the food I left out, and got sick off it. There were piles of shit and puke everywhere, not to mention the piss stains.
I was pretty pissed so I tied those damn dogs to the chair and clamped their jaws shut with a tied up rag so they wouldn't bark anymore.
I sprayed the mess with some resolve and called it good, I wasn't about to clean it up. After I ate and got dressed it was around 4 PM so I left and went out to watch a movie. I got back to their house at about 11 P.M. made some dinner and settled in for another fine evening of porn viewing. I took a look through the titles and settled on one titled 'Three Lesbians and a Midget.' Overall it was a pretty decent porn, a little shorter than I expected, but it left me tired and fulfilled.
I started getting ready for bed, and since I like to sleep in the buff, I wasn't wearing any clothes. The doorbell rang. Who the hell could that be I asked myself as I opened the door.
As luck would have it I completely fucking forgot I wasn't wearing any clothes and there at the door stood a police officer with his flashlight shining directly on me. This couldn't get any worse I thought, but it did. Apparently the police officer had left the lights on his car flashing and this attracted the attention of the whole neighborhood. I was standing naked in front of a good 20-30 people.
I don't know what was running through the cops mind at the time, all I know is I was standing their naked - fresh from watching porn, with the house smelling like shit, and in the background stood 2 dogs tied up with their jaws clamped together. I was fucked.
He slapped his handcuffs on me and was getting ready to take me away.
"Just a minute" I said "What exactly am I being arrested for?"
"Being naked in public is indecent exposure" he said.
"Well it's your fault I'm naked and in public now isn't it?"
"Yea" he said "But there are two tied up dogs in there, the house smells of shit and urine, and you were naked. Care to explain that?"
I was pretty sure I was beyond the point of explanation so I sat back and enjoyed the scenic ride to the jail. They were nice enough to issue me some clothes there. I was told I'd be given my phone call in the morning. Wonderful.
The officer led me to my cell. By this time I was exhausted and all I wanted was a little sleep. I plopped down on my bed and drifted off.
I woke up a few minutes later to the sound of heavy breathing. "What now?" I thought. I looked beside me and there stood the biggest man I'd ever seen in my life. 6 foot 5, with a flock of seagulls haircut and dressed fully in leather. Bad prison movie cliches anyone?
The first words out of his mouth were "You look a little lonely there baby, how about a back rub?"
I could sense my ass getting tense, it started sweating. It was scared.
This was it I thought, I was going to lose my anal virginity to a big gay prisoner with a lisp. I'd pictured some ways I'd lose my anal virginity, falling on a pole, having a college roommate violate me with a carrot while I was drunk, but I never thought it would be taken like this.
His hands went down my back.. I wished my ass good luck. I tried to get up but he held me down. "Don't worry" he said "I'll be gentle."
I felt the first hand caress my ass, then the second. This was it. The end of the innocence.
But then it happened, salvation. I was saved. A guard knocked on the cell door and said "You're free to go."
"Oh Thank God!" I yelled as I jumped up from the bed.
The guard looked at me and shook his head no. "Not until he's done with you" he laughed.
"Oh fuck me" I yelled.
A voice behind me rang out "If you say so sugar!"
I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and clenched those cheeks together as hard as I could. I sure as hell wasn't going to give him easy access.
Then the cell door opened. "Come on out" said the officer.
"Really" I said "I can go?!"
"No" he said "Not you, him."
I let out a sigh of relief. After they left I looked down upon my ass and whispered "You did good old friend, you did good."
I went back to my bed and fell asleep.
I was let out of jail the next morning after I was able to get a hold of the woman whose house I was sitting and had her confirm to the police that I was supposed to be there.
Nothing could go wrong now.. it was truly a perfect day. Yet as I was leaving the police station I saw a picture of my face on the newspaper. I turned it over to get a better look.
There on the front page was me, standing buck naked in handcuffs. Accompanying the photo was a half-page article giving the details about my arrest. Photos of the house and dogs were also included inside.
I haven't gone out in public since.
I arrived there Wednesday afternoon and watched them head out. Lots of food, alcohol, and the fact she had quite a few porn videos in her house made me a very happy person.
I opened up the food, watched some porn, and drifted off to sleep. I awoke the next morning to one of her dogs licking my face. I wiped off the drool and let them outside. I turned away from the door took a step, looked down and realized I had just stepped in an enormous pile of dog shit.
Not only was it dog shit, but apparently one of the dogs had jumped onto the table, ate the food I left out, and got sick off it. There were piles of shit and puke everywhere, not to mention the piss stains.
I was pretty pissed so I tied those damn dogs to the chair and clamped their jaws shut with a tied up rag so they wouldn't bark anymore.
I sprayed the mess with some resolve and called it good, I wasn't about to clean it up. After I ate and got dressed it was around 4 PM so I left and went out to watch a movie. I got back to their house at about 11 P.M. made some dinner and settled in for another fine evening of porn viewing. I took a look through the titles and settled on one titled 'Three Lesbians and a Midget.' Overall it was a pretty decent porn, a little shorter than I expected, but it left me tired and fulfilled.
I started getting ready for bed, and since I like to sleep in the buff, I wasn't wearing any clothes. The doorbell rang. Who the hell could that be I asked myself as I opened the door.
As luck would have it I completely fucking forgot I wasn't wearing any clothes and there at the door stood a police officer with his flashlight shining directly on me. This couldn't get any worse I thought, but it did. Apparently the police officer had left the lights on his car flashing and this attracted the attention of the whole neighborhood. I was standing naked in front of a good 20-30 people.
I don't know what was running through the cops mind at the time, all I know is I was standing their naked - fresh from watching porn, with the house smelling like shit, and in the background stood 2 dogs tied up with their jaws clamped together. I was fucked.
He slapped his handcuffs on me and was getting ready to take me away.
"Just a minute" I said "What exactly am I being arrested for?"
"Being naked in public is indecent exposure" he said.
"Well it's your fault I'm naked and in public now isn't it?"
"Yea" he said "But there are two tied up dogs in there, the house smells of shit and urine, and you were naked. Care to explain that?"
I was pretty sure I was beyond the point of explanation so I sat back and enjoyed the scenic ride to the jail. They were nice enough to issue me some clothes there. I was told I'd be given my phone call in the morning. Wonderful.
The officer led me to my cell. By this time I was exhausted and all I wanted was a little sleep. I plopped down on my bed and drifted off.
I woke up a few minutes later to the sound of heavy breathing. "What now?" I thought. I looked beside me and there stood the biggest man I'd ever seen in my life. 6 foot 5, with a flock of seagulls haircut and dressed fully in leather. Bad prison movie cliches anyone?
The first words out of his mouth were "You look a little lonely there baby, how about a back rub?"
I could sense my ass getting tense, it started sweating. It was scared.
This was it I thought, I was going to lose my anal virginity to a big gay prisoner with a lisp. I'd pictured some ways I'd lose my anal virginity, falling on a pole, having a college roommate violate me with a carrot while I was drunk, but I never thought it would be taken like this.
His hands went down my back.. I wished my ass good luck. I tried to get up but he held me down. "Don't worry" he said "I'll be gentle."
I felt the first hand caress my ass, then the second. This was it. The end of the innocence.
But then it happened, salvation. I was saved. A guard knocked on the cell door and said "You're free to go."
"Oh Thank God!" I yelled as I jumped up from the bed.
The guard looked at me and shook his head no. "Not until he's done with you" he laughed.
"Oh fuck me" I yelled.
A voice behind me rang out "If you say so sugar!"
I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and clenched those cheeks together as hard as I could. I sure as hell wasn't going to give him easy access.
Then the cell door opened. "Come on out" said the officer.
"Really" I said "I can go?!"
"No" he said "Not you, him."
I let out a sigh of relief. After they left I looked down upon my ass and whispered "You did good old friend, you did good."
I went back to my bed and fell asleep.
I was let out of jail the next morning after I was able to get a hold of the woman whose house I was sitting and had her confirm to the police that I was supposed to be there.
Nothing could go wrong now.. it was truly a perfect day. Yet as I was leaving the police station I saw a picture of my face on the newspaper. I turned it over to get a better look.
There on the front page was me, standing buck naked in handcuffs. Accompanying the photo was a half-page article giving the details about my arrest. Photos of the house and dogs were also included inside.
I haven't gone out in public since.