The most amusing site I've ever found for deists and atheists

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May 17, 2002
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www.xianex.com
#5
@ kryptic. . . . at least someone laughed at it. thanks

@ heresy. . . . you didn't find that funny?


did any of you take both tests? the shit is hilarious, factual and in context (minus some of the comedic commentary).

I'm sure someone was enlightened
 
Dec 2, 2004
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#7
A*N*S*W*E*R*S
When was Jesus born?

According to Matthew, Jesus was born during the reign of Herod the Great (Matthew 2:1). Herod died in March of 4 B.C., so Jesus had to have been born BEFORE that time.

But . . .

According to Luke, Jesus was born during the first census in Israel, while Quirinius was governor of Syria (Luke 2:2). This census took place in 6 AD and 7 AD, about 10 years after Herod's death.

After Jesus was born where did Mary, Jesus and Joseph go?

According to Matthew, Jesus was born in a house in Bethlehem. (Matthew 2:11) They immediately left in a panic to Egypt because an angel told them that Herod was going to try to kill Jesus. (Matthew 2:13) Afterwards, they are going to return to Bethlehem, but decide to go to Nazareth instead to avoid danger. (Matthew 2:22-23)

But . . .

According to Luke, Mary and Joseph were from Nazareth and went to Bethlehem only for a census. (Luke 2:4). Instead of being born in a house, Jesus was born in a manger because there was no room in an Inn. (Luke 2:7). After the birth, they waited only for Mary to go through ritual purification, whereupon they went to Jerusalem to sacrifice two birds. (Luke 2:22-24). After that, they went immediately home to Nazareth. (Luke 2:39)

Who was Joseph's father?

It was important to Luke and Matthew to establish that Jesus' bloodline went to King David, so that He would fulfill prophesy. Of course, since Joseph was not Jesus' father, any genealogy starting with Joseph seems somewhat pointless, but this didn't stop our imaginative authors. The only problem is: their family trees don't correspond.

"And JACOB begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus." (Matthew 1:16)

But . . .

"And Jesus being the son of Joseph, which was the son of HELI." (Luke 3:23)

Where was the "Sermon on the Mount"*held?

While we commonly think of the sermon being held on a mountain (from its name alone), truly the New Testament is better than Conde Nast when it comes to choosing locations!

"And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying...." (Matthew 5:1-2)

But . . .

"And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people...came to hear him.. And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples and said..." (Luke 6:17-20)

What were Jesus' last words on the cross before He died?

"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" [Psalm 22:1] ...Jesus, when he cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost." (Matt. 27:46-50)

But . . .

"And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, "Father, unto thy hands I commend my spirit:" and having said thus, he gave up the ghost." (Luke 23:46)

But . . .

"When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." (John 19:30)

On the third day after Jesus' death, who first came to the tomb?

Mary Magdalene alone (John 20:1)

But . . .

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary (Matt. 28:1)

But . . .

Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome (Mark 16:1)

But . . .

Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary, the mother of James, and other women (Luke 24:10)

What happened to Judas?

Matthew 27:5 states that he threw down his silver, ran from the temple, and hanged himself.

But . . .

Acts 1:16-19 states, however, that he bought some land with his money, and that he had a fall, causing him "to burst open in the middle" so that his "bowels gushed out. And it became known to all of the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that the field was called in their language Akaldama, that is, Field of Blood."

How are we saved?

"For by grace are we saved through faith...not of works" EPH 2:8-9.

But . . .

"...and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works" REV 20:13.

But . . .

"Ye see then that by works a man is justified, not by faith only. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" JAMES 2:26

When giving His disciples tips on how to accessorize their outfits:

When Jesus summons the twelve disciples to send them out to proclaim the kingdom of God, he lists the things the disciples should not take with them.

In Matthew 10:9-10 and Luke 9:3-5, a staff is included in the list of things not to take.

But . . .

In contradiction to Matthew and Luke, Mark 6:8 makes a specific exception - the disciples may take a staff.

Paul and his fabulous trip to Jerusalem:

Paul denies that he was involved in the persecution of Christians in Jerusalem. In fact, he claimed that it was three years after his conversion before he traveled to Jerusalem, at which point he met only Cephas and James, "and not any other apostles" (GAL 1:18-19)

But . . .

Luke, who wrote Acts, not only has Paul engaged in persecution in Judea, he has Paul going to Jerusalem immediately after his conversion, and there meeting all the apostles (ACTS 9:27).
 
May 17, 2002
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www.xianex.com
#8
:)
@ basiccally. it's a joke you gotta read between the lines. the site is more clever than any anti-x-tian site can ever be.

I could point to other deist websites that quote the letters of ben franklin, george washington, thomas paine, and thomas jefferson. but that would be a bit much.


but like I say. I don't encourage anyone to accept my uni-deistic rhetoric. There are more influential people that can make the case.
 

HERESY

THE HIDDEN HAND...
Apr 25, 2002
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www.godscalamity.com
www.godscalamity.com
#9
XianeX said:
@ kryptic. . . . at least someone laughed at it. thanks

@ heresy. . . . you didn't find that funny?


did any of you take both tests? the shit is hilarious, factual and in context (minus some of the comedic commentary).

I'm sure someone was enlightened
No I didn't find it funny. I like it when people go in depth about doctrine and actually give a reason as to why they feel the way they do. I like it when they back their views with various sources, facts and info. Asking questions in hopes of getting someone to say/think "thats a contradiction" is null and void when one hasn't taken the time to actually STUDY/RESEARCH the material.


Heres an example of the blatent stupidity which can be found on that site. Thanks 1/2 on it for posting up some of the questions and answers.

EXAMPLE:


Who was Joseph's father?

It was important to Luke and Matthew to establish that Jesus' bloodline went to King David, so that He would fulfill prophesy. Of course, since Joseph was not Jesus' father, any genealogy starting with Joseph seems somewhat pointless, but this didn't stop our imaginative authors. The only problem is: their family trees don't correspond.

"And JACOB begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus." (Matthew 1:16)

But . . .

"And Jesus being the son of Joseph, which was the son of HELI." (Luke 3:23)



By looking at it for face value you will think it's a contradiction. By researching the verses,hebrew tradition, laws and the geneology you'll see it's not a contradiction.


1. By reading the scriptures you'll see Heli and Jacob are BROTHERS but Heli DIED without a son.


2. By studying Levrite law, jewish/hebrew customs you'll realize when a man dies without a son and has a brother, his brother is to take the wife as his own. If the surviving brother has children with the widow he should raise them as his brothers children.


3. When a child is born from the new union he (under the levrite law) is LEGALLY the child of the FIRST husband which in this case is Heli. The childs biological father IS Jacob.


It would have been better if she actually took the time to research the material and form a case. Any person who hit's ANY site and takes it as truth before reading it and verifying it is an IDIOT.

Once again the site was a waste of my time. Every question I answered resulted in "going to hell" except for two of them. Lucky me......




:HGK:


PS and don't think thats the ONLY example I can give. EVERY question/answer can be explained WITHOUT twisting scripture but understanding the original language and the customs of the hebrew/jewish people.
 
May 17, 2002
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www.xianex.com
#10
that's why i think it was funny. alot of the questions are valid and have true answers, but i agree that some of her answers should have been better researched. but i still find it humorous. the other test is just as funny. you must have only taken the "flash" test. the other test is funny too.

I came across this site as a link from one unrelated. I've never seen a site so carefully tailored to imply it was pro x-tian. for a moment i was fooled until i noticed that everything it said was denouncing it..

I think it is good sart to broaden the perspectives of those who have a narow view of x-tian idealism. but you're totally correct in that the facts should all be validated first.

still a funny site though
 
May 17, 2002
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www.xianex.com
#11
btw, if jesus isn't the biological son of joseph his geneology is useless. so to use that geneology to substantiate jesus being descended from the house of david nullifies any refutation of deliniation.

one error amongst many other significnt facts does not make a good thesis for debate.

most of the other answers will require a greater use of apologetics.