Last week, while I was rummaging through the mess that is my room, I happened upon one of those little disposable cameras. It seemed harmless enough. Innocuous, if you will. At first, I was excited, thinking of the all the fun that would ebb from its little lens. I decided to test it out on none other than myself. What better to start off a quality roll of film with than a picture of myself? I pointed the lens at my mug, and pressed down the little gray button. No click. No flash. Nothing. I pressed a few more times before I realized that this disposable camera had already been used. All 24 pictures had already been taken. I felt like I was holding a used condom. Needless to say my spirits were depleted, but my interest was piqued.
How in God's name did I wind up with a used disposable camera? Then I realized that I must have thrown it in my luggage while I was packing up my dorm room in the mad rush to leave college for a summer of imbibing and wild sex. (Author's Note: "imbibing and wild sex = working a shit job, drinking by myself, and masturbating). However, this camera wasn't mine. It belonged to my roommate.
Ah yes. The roommate. He's a great kid, he's from Pittsburg, PA, and a D-I athlete (like me). As a result we had similar interest and schedules, and ended up getting along really well. Almost all of our friends at school are mutual, and over the course of the year we became the best of buds. He is also the most rampant womanizer that I have ever met. Being around athletes for most of my life, I've been around my fair share of QB's with women hanging from their arms, or star centers and power forwards with chicks just begging for the cock. However, never in my life have I seen such blatant womanizing as I did this past year. During the first week of school – yes, the localized shit-show that is freshman orientation – he brought home a different girl every night – for 6 straight nights. The kid started off the year 6 for 6. Although his average dropped in the months to come, he left school freshman year with a .400+ batting average, 75 HRs, and 300 hits...enough to earn him the Triple Crown.
Even more interesting is the fact that he had a girlfriend for most of the year. The girlfriend, however, was in high school. A sophomore. In high school. This girl was not of legal age to drink, not even of legal age to buy tobacco products. She didn't even have her driver's license for God's sake. She got her PERMIT this past October. Needless to say, I was embarrassed for him. It's just not right – you're supposed to leave your high school pussy in high school when you go off to college, especially if she's a sophomore.
However, once she came up to visit, the fog lifted, and mine eyes were opened. This girl (the Child, as she came to be known on our hall), although still visibly carrying around some baby fat, was hot. Smokin' hot. Jailbait hot. Tan, blonde, about 5'5'', great tits, decent ass, and a cute face. Couldn't ask for more out of high school cheerleader in Texas. I understood why he kept her around. And above all this, she was a nympho. She loved the cock, and in all orifices. So when she would come to visit, my roomie spent most of his spare time fucking this girl till he passed out from protein depletion.
But I digress - back to the camera. As I said, I found it in my room last week. I decided that since all the pictures had already been taken, that the only logical thing was to get the damn thing developed and see what was on the film. I had dreams of crazy party pictures, drunken idiots puking in the middle of the streets, insanely intoxicated girls dancing half naked on top of frat house beer pong tables...sadly, it was not to be.
I opened the mail yesterday to find that my pictures had arrived. Like a kid on Christmas, I greedily rushed upstairs to my room and ripped opened the package, with visions of half naked girls dancing in my head. The first picture was of me with a shit-eating grin on my face holding up a tin of Skoal. Although slightly disappointed, a smile cracked my face as I thought back to the huge lips me and my roomie packed this past year. I still held out hope for the next 23 pictures. The next picture was of Me and my roommate hanging out in our room. Ok, I told myself, we're just getting warmed up. Then I got to the third picture.
Him and the Child.
Evidently they went out to dinner one night, because they were in a restaurant. That's cute, I thought. The next 21 pictures were pretty much a photo-history of said night. A few more pictures of them at the restaurant...must have had the waiter take those pictures, I thought.
Then all a sudden she lost her clothes.
No bra, just panties, looking back at me with a sinfully horny look on her face, her finger curled in the "come over here you stud" position. It was like I had clicked on a link that said "good times with your buddy" and I got "HARDCORE SLUTS WITH BIG TITS SUCK MONSTER COCKS."
If the next few pictures had titles, this is what they would be:
Child wants hard cock
Roomie takes picture of own dick
Roomie takes picture of Child sucking his dick
Roomie takes picture of Child masterbating
Child takes picture of cock
Roomie takes picture of pussy
Roomie takes picture of his cock in Child's pussy
Etc, etc, etc.
At first, I was in shock.
Then I almost broke my spleen because of the fit of laughter I went into...Literally crying after about 5 minutes of laughter. I had hit upon the proverbial goldmine. Like most good friends and roommates, we played the occasional prank on one another...he died all my underwear pink, I plucked the undigested nuts out of my shit with his toothbrush, etc.
The Gods then decided to smile on me, for I was blessed with possibly the greatest/evilest idea in my 19 years on this earth. Was it a prank? Yes. Was it mean? Yes. Was I going to do it? You bet your ass I was going to do it. Am I going to burn in the pits of hell for all eternity? I'll see the rest of you there.
That's right folks, before I trudged off to work this morning, I mailed a letter. In this letter were enclosed some select photos, some of my favorites from my recently obtained collection. If only you could all feel the mixture of pure joy and evil that I felt when I licked the envelope closed and turned it around, only to see my roommates mother's name on the other side.
How in God's name did I wind up with a used disposable camera? Then I realized that I must have thrown it in my luggage while I was packing up my dorm room in the mad rush to leave college for a summer of imbibing and wild sex. (Author's Note: "imbibing and wild sex = working a shit job, drinking by myself, and masturbating). However, this camera wasn't mine. It belonged to my roommate.
Ah yes. The roommate. He's a great kid, he's from Pittsburg, PA, and a D-I athlete (like me). As a result we had similar interest and schedules, and ended up getting along really well. Almost all of our friends at school are mutual, and over the course of the year we became the best of buds. He is also the most rampant womanizer that I have ever met. Being around athletes for most of my life, I've been around my fair share of QB's with women hanging from their arms, or star centers and power forwards with chicks just begging for the cock. However, never in my life have I seen such blatant womanizing as I did this past year. During the first week of school – yes, the localized shit-show that is freshman orientation – he brought home a different girl every night – for 6 straight nights. The kid started off the year 6 for 6. Although his average dropped in the months to come, he left school freshman year with a .400+ batting average, 75 HRs, and 300 hits...enough to earn him the Triple Crown.
Even more interesting is the fact that he had a girlfriend for most of the year. The girlfriend, however, was in high school. A sophomore. In high school. This girl was not of legal age to drink, not even of legal age to buy tobacco products. She didn't even have her driver's license for God's sake. She got her PERMIT this past October. Needless to say, I was embarrassed for him. It's just not right – you're supposed to leave your high school pussy in high school when you go off to college, especially if she's a sophomore.
However, once she came up to visit, the fog lifted, and mine eyes were opened. This girl (the Child, as she came to be known on our hall), although still visibly carrying around some baby fat, was hot. Smokin' hot. Jailbait hot. Tan, blonde, about 5'5'', great tits, decent ass, and a cute face. Couldn't ask for more out of high school cheerleader in Texas. I understood why he kept her around. And above all this, she was a nympho. She loved the cock, and in all orifices. So when she would come to visit, my roomie spent most of his spare time fucking this girl till he passed out from protein depletion.
But I digress - back to the camera. As I said, I found it in my room last week. I decided that since all the pictures had already been taken, that the only logical thing was to get the damn thing developed and see what was on the film. I had dreams of crazy party pictures, drunken idiots puking in the middle of the streets, insanely intoxicated girls dancing half naked on top of frat house beer pong tables...sadly, it was not to be.
I opened the mail yesterday to find that my pictures had arrived. Like a kid on Christmas, I greedily rushed upstairs to my room and ripped opened the package, with visions of half naked girls dancing in my head. The first picture was of me with a shit-eating grin on my face holding up a tin of Skoal. Although slightly disappointed, a smile cracked my face as I thought back to the huge lips me and my roomie packed this past year. I still held out hope for the next 23 pictures. The next picture was of Me and my roommate hanging out in our room. Ok, I told myself, we're just getting warmed up. Then I got to the third picture.
Him and the Child.
Evidently they went out to dinner one night, because they were in a restaurant. That's cute, I thought. The next 21 pictures were pretty much a photo-history of said night. A few more pictures of them at the restaurant...must have had the waiter take those pictures, I thought.
Then all a sudden she lost her clothes.
No bra, just panties, looking back at me with a sinfully horny look on her face, her finger curled in the "come over here you stud" position. It was like I had clicked on a link that said "good times with your buddy" and I got "HARDCORE SLUTS WITH BIG TITS SUCK MONSTER COCKS."
If the next few pictures had titles, this is what they would be:
Child wants hard cock
Roomie takes picture of own dick
Roomie takes picture of Child sucking his dick
Roomie takes picture of Child masterbating
Child takes picture of cock
Roomie takes picture of pussy
Roomie takes picture of his cock in Child's pussy
Etc, etc, etc.
At first, I was in shock.
Then I almost broke my spleen because of the fit of laughter I went into...Literally crying after about 5 minutes of laughter. I had hit upon the proverbial goldmine. Like most good friends and roommates, we played the occasional prank on one another...he died all my underwear pink, I plucked the undigested nuts out of my shit with his toothbrush, etc.
The Gods then decided to smile on me, for I was blessed with possibly the greatest/evilest idea in my 19 years on this earth. Was it a prank? Yes. Was it mean? Yes. Was I going to do it? You bet your ass I was going to do it. Am I going to burn in the pits of hell for all eternity? I'll see the rest of you there.
That's right folks, before I trudged off to work this morning, I mailed a letter. In this letter were enclosed some select photos, some of my favorites from my recently obtained collection. If only you could all feel the mixture of pure joy and evil that I felt when I licked the envelope closed and turned it around, only to see my roommates mother's name on the other side.
