takin advice

[Asthmatic]

I took ur advice cmoke and this is what i got..

my 4 play's playin trumpets in ya pussy and havin murders commited on my birthday-switch it up wit switched styles and switch from a strap to a switch blade-switch ya bitch from tha front ta da back naked on tha cover and da first page-motha fukas talkin shit release my anger ta release tha rage-misconceptions and anticipation of pain and blood is a crutial mix in the recipe of disaster-mafia intentions of puttin ur feet in a bucket then fill it wit plaster*then drop u under water*-kill u ur sister ya moms and ya father-givin a fuk wether ur missed or mourned as long as it dont make this place hotter-the place is the space between the outside world and this misplaced place-sometimes i feel like this whole world was mistakin after a mistake in tha first place-now my only intentions are wether i should erase the entire human race-ta make gods mistake a correction and easy down the pressure of my erection-iont get hard off seein bitches i get hard off seein um die-i bust nuts after stabbin bitches faces and seein blood flow out they eye-i use they mashed up brain like that nigga did wit da cherrys in american pie-no better orgasmic feelin then seein a bitch u love die.

hope its clean this is tha 1st step im takin.

 

[onewaymuzik]

cool shyt

 

[BaYzHe||!PoW!||]

quick question...

how often do you peep eminem?





well... anyway




this shit was aight...







the whole... watchin someone die thing has been done...








and the whole... im gonna use the same word a bunch of times and rhyme it cuz its cool type thing... its kinda used...







this was aight tho... nothin spectacular...







keep working tho, shit aint always perfect...








stay up, peace

 

[dissciple211]

yo i was feelin it i think u posted that shit in the cyphers and i thought it was hot.u got some nice lil combos and good vocab and it flowed prety good too,keep workin ur shit dog.1

 

[Asthmatic]

iigh coo comments yaw, haha eminem....but peep to ur shit bout tha whole seein peeps die thing bein done, iono where u grew up or tha kinda person u is or the kinda peeps u kik it wit but thas real shit nigga in my short lifetime i seen some shit that'll make a nigga crazy, jus straight drama, iont condone it or nothin but its out there ya feel? well yah I got a new verse i want yaw ta peep its a correction or like a modification to da old one here it is......

I moved up from casette tapes-ta mp3's and dvd's-pushin weight and started late-but im still ballin wit O Z's-spittin verbally technical hot shit bringin hoes ta day kneez-all beggin me please-tryn ta get a nut from my sac ta get a piece of chris b-reppin da 925 frokm da c-o-n-c-o-r-d-from rags ta riches, and hoes 2 bitches-from gettin caught by da police ta gettin told on by snitches-mob intentions-fuckin up u hater bastards-puttin yo feet in a bucket and then fillin it up wit plaster ta drown u faster-snitches gettin mouths closed up, brought up tight lips by stitches-leavin yaw niggas and bitches swimmin wit fishes-or buried in ditches-asthmatic is a head case-like gettin a headache in ya whip from too much bass-how tha fuck was he brought up in this place-a mistakin mistake in the first place-gods biggest mistake-but smalles waste of space-im faced wit tha decision to erase the human race-or jus eliminate my mind-from this corrupted waste of time-the choice is mine-dont know what to do-but dont get my hate for love confused wit my love to hate u foos-eradicate and dessimate ya whole crew-wit chrome 2 2's-hollow tip clips ballistically aimed ta blow thru u-2 destroy u.....to be continued....

 

[BaYzHe||!PoW!||]

yo, for real tho...


didn't feel this part here...


I moved up from casette tapes-ta mp3's and dvd's-pushin weight and started late-but im still ballin wit O Z's-spittin verbally technical hot shit bringin hoes ta day kneez-all beggin me please-tryn ta get a nut from my sac ta get a piece of chris b-reppin da 925 frokm da c-o-n-c-o-r-d-from rags ta riches, and hoes 2 bitches-from gettin caught by da police ta gettin told on by snitches-mob intentions-



this part got better... felt it a lil bit... not great... but it would sound good in audio prolly...


fuckin up u hater bastards-puttin yo feet in a bucket and then fillin it up wit plaster ta drown u faster-snitches gettin mouths closed up, brought up tight lips by stitches-leavin yaw niggas and bitches swimmin wit fishes-or buried in ditches-asthmatic is a head case-like gettin a headache in ya whip from too much bass-



this right here was kinda dope...


how tha fuck was he brought up in this place-a mistakin mistake in the first place-gods biggest mistake-but smalles waste of space-im faced wit tha decision to erase the human race-or jus eliminate my mind-from this corrupted waste of time-the choice is mine-dont know what to do-but dont get my hate for love confused wit my love to hate u foos-eradicate and dessimate ya whole crew-wit chrome 2 2's-hollow tip clips ballistically aimed ta blow thru u-2 destroy u.....to be continued....




best line... "but dont get my hate for love confused with my love to hate youy foos"

that was kinda sick...




gettin better man... shit sounds and looks better since you put a bit more thought into it and reworded a bit... good shit man, nice elavation... peace and health