Stress is a continuing problem in today's workplace. Deadlines, impending layoffs, pressure, and having an asshole boss all worsen the average employee's mood. Lots of workers wish they worked shorter hours, had less responsibility, made more money, or didn't have an asshole boss. People want something that can brighten their days, and not just one of those damned "Zen Gardens" with the sand that gets all over the place or a cute kitten or cute puppy poster with some cute phrase like "Hang in there!" or "Asshole Boss!" written across it. There is a much more obvious answer to the question, "What can I do to improve my days while expending little or no effort or money of my own, and get my asshole boss off of my back?"
The solution to workplace stress (and asshole bosses) is easy: the dog-riding monkey service.
How could you be in a bad mood if a monkey riding a dog came to your desk to deliver a memo? If you went to the water cooler and the dog and monkey team were making another pot of coffee, wouldn't it always put a smile on your face? Get your management to hire a dog-riding monkey and watch employee morale skyrocket as if there was a teambuilding exercise to Club Nekkid.
Imagine this scenario:
You're meeting with your asshole boss, you're talking about some important business issues, you're both getting really pissed off, and you begin yelling at each other.
ASSHOLE BOSS: I don't care what you say, Clint Eastwood is the GREATEST!!!
YOU: I will never forgive him for "Blood Work". It was a crime against humanity.
ASSHOLE BOSS: Dirty Harry!!! For the love of ham, HE WAS DIRTY HARRY!!!
YOU: I hate you and Clint Eastwood. I hope you both step on something pokey.
ASSHOLE BOSS: I'M SICK OF YOUR INSUBORDINATION!!! AND PUT YOUR GODDAMNED PANTS BACK ON!!!
In walks the dog-riding monkey, perhaps wearing a little hat with a propeller.
HAPPY BOSS: Ha, that dog-riding monkey always makes me laugh. What were we talking about?
YOU: I think you were about to give me a raise.
HAPPY BOSS: Oh, yes, I'm promoting you to Head of International Global Office Product Purchasing Operations Services!
YOU: Excellent! Thanks, dog-riding monkey service!
As you can see, there is no situation that can't be helped by dog-riding monkey service.
The solution to workplace stress (and asshole bosses) is easy: the dog-riding monkey service.
How could you be in a bad mood if a monkey riding a dog came to your desk to deliver a memo? If you went to the water cooler and the dog and monkey team were making another pot of coffee, wouldn't it always put a smile on your face? Get your management to hire a dog-riding monkey and watch employee morale skyrocket as if there was a teambuilding exercise to Club Nekkid.
Imagine this scenario:
You're meeting with your asshole boss, you're talking about some important business issues, you're both getting really pissed off, and you begin yelling at each other.
ASSHOLE BOSS: I don't care what you say, Clint Eastwood is the GREATEST!!!
YOU: I will never forgive him for "Blood Work". It was a crime against humanity.
ASSHOLE BOSS: Dirty Harry!!! For the love of ham, HE WAS DIRTY HARRY!!!
YOU: I hate you and Clint Eastwood. I hope you both step on something pokey.
ASSHOLE BOSS: I'M SICK OF YOUR INSUBORDINATION!!! AND PUT YOUR GODDAMNED PANTS BACK ON!!!
In walks the dog-riding monkey, perhaps wearing a little hat with a propeller.
HAPPY BOSS: Ha, that dog-riding monkey always makes me laugh. What were we talking about?
YOU: I think you were about to give me a raise.
HAPPY BOSS: Oh, yes, I'm promoting you to Head of International Global Office Product Purchasing Operations Services!
YOU: Excellent! Thanks, dog-riding monkey service!
As you can see, there is no situation that can't be helped by dog-riding monkey service.
