speeding ticket
- Thread starter x-loc
- Start date
on the day of court....take a jar of chunk peanut butter and smear it all up your asscrack...imean pack that shit in there....When the judge calls out your name and you step up to the bench....Tell him you are on serious medication and you were rushin to get home to take your antipsychotic meds....if he says that was an excuse, tell him you also have bad diarrhea....and if he still doesnt go for it...jump on the bench and scream " I am the Lord of the PigFuckers and I am here to Demonize your souls, AL praise be to Turdie the lord of the Defecators"
then proceed to stick your hand in the back of your pants...scoop up a nice glob of Extra Chunk PB...and smear it on your face and begin to eat it.....while doing your best evil laugh and thizz dance...
they'll forget all about your stupid speeding ticket....
then proceed to stick your hand in the back of your pants...scoop up a nice glob of Extra Chunk PB...and smear it on your face and begin to eat it.....while doing your best evil laugh and thizz dance...
they'll forget all about your stupid speeding ticket....
The EASIEST and most efficient way of getting out of a speeding ticket is coughing up $200 for a lawyer. You won’t have to go to court, shit, you don’t even necessarily have to meet the lawyer. Guaranteed you’ll get the ticket dropped. (I know from personal experience, I’ve had several speeding tickets dropped thanks to my lawyer and the $ is well worth it since I fucked up my driving record in my days of youth and my insurance is high as hell).
If you don’t want to spend $200 for a lawyer, you need to stop and think for a second. If you’re driving record is already fucked up, GET A LAYWER. You don’t want that shit on your record. If your record is nice and clean, try beating the ticket yourself; it’s not much of a risk because your insurance won’t go up that high if you lose.
If you don’t want to spend $200 for a lawyer, you need to stop and think for a second. If you’re driving record is already fucked up, GET A LAYWER. You don’t want that shit on your record. If your record is nice and clean, try beating the ticket yourself; it’s not much of a risk because your insurance won’t go up that high if you lose.
Bring a gun to court. Ask the judge "So, its my word against this cop right here?" Then pull out your gun and shoot the cop.
Once he's dead, he can no longer testify that you were speeding, and you are 100% cleared on the speeding ticket.
You'll probably get a life sentence for the cop killing though. Its a little bit of a trade off, but it won't affect your car insurance.
Once he's dead, he can no longer testify that you were speeding, and you are 100% cleared on the speeding ticket.
You'll probably get a life sentence for the cop killing though. Its a little bit of a trade off, but it won't affect your car insurance.
If the cop doesn't show up to court and you have a good driving record the judge will usually throw your ticket out. Make sure you address the judge as "your honor" it makes him / her feel respected (whether you respect them or not). Don't wear a hat as they call that disrespectful. DO NOT tell the judge that you didn't realize how fast you were going because then they'll say "you obviously don't pay attention when you're driving."
Sorry, that's the only advise I can think of right now.
Sorry, that's the only advise I can think of right now.