serious style.. is this garbage?

[Greg Double]

it look wack with all the caps, but that remind me to spit it with excamation on the rite words.. this is a little rough draft first verse.. i aint got hte hook done yet.. holla @ me

Step up out the house with one thing on my MIND//
how 2 stack this fuckin paper livin life on the GRIND//
Ive wasted TIME lookin for a SIGN put myself up on the LINE//
when im gonna SHINE cuz i aint doin FINE ready 2 hit a CRIME//
all about the RHYMES time for a new DESIGN for MINE//
feelin lost BEHIND these enemy LINES gotta RESIGN//
stuck in a BIND and cant DECIDE which way that im gonna RIDE//
turn the TIDES because ive TRIED and theres no way i can HIDE//
from what i hold INSIDE feeling like all of my PRIDE is FRIED//
stuck in the world shits EYE 4 EYE i wanna watch all the SNIPERS DIE//
but on the LIGHTER SIDE im gonna FLY thru the SKY//
im gonna RIDE with my lady in a dodge VIPER HIGH//
most things dont COINCIDE with the lifestyle that i choose to lead//
im livin WILD since just a CHILD with many BRUISES that BLEED//
just like some JUICE when i SQUEEZE lace up my BOOTS like the WEED//
i know my ROOTS jumpin HOOPS hoppin out the COUPE with my TEAM//

 

[Lil Rebel]

...reply...

It was cool...i guess

nothin really stood out
seems like you used a rhyming dictionary and just went down the line
other than that it flowed well but the verse wasn't going no where...sumtin like a freestyle

 

[Greg Double]

yeah no doubt.. thats bout how i rap it.. good lookin on the peep.. back 2 the drawin board.

 

[Suspect]

does sound like a freestyle not bad tho

 

[LePrAkoN.X!V]

what ya think????

it was kinda koo homeboy but needs some work done on that.......


i hit these flows spittin these hallows.right after im quick to have another one fallow.makin these bitches swallow.hittin burnin there intestines.they hurtin learnin there lesson.its a blessin what im addressin.makin mixed confusion.now you seeing life as an illusion.all this bruisin.turned to death.and look im the only nigga left.ready to test the motive of my teck.wreck its neck if ya disrespect.cuz i got the nine and a gage.start jumpin on shit going threw a rampage.ingage the nine is my slave.kill where i aim.screamin out revenge on my name.killin the lame grabbin fame on my name.we aint in the same lane.going faster on the high way.cuz u do it my way or the die way.let the hallow tipz fly and u die the bye bye way.where you stand is where you for ever gonna lay!!!!!

....... tell me what you think about that lil flow? just made it right now on the top of my head

 

[King Dubb]

ok