please bomb my job

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Nostril King

Guest
#1
#1

I am sitting here at my job in an office full of 200 people in a big building and I would not be sad at all if a plane flew in 9-11 style and killed everyone here.

1) I work in a cubicle environment where you can hear everyone and everything said. I sit across from this bitch and all I hear her do is complain. I hate it when people take their work personally but this bitch all she does is talk shit about her assistant who is late and leaves early. SHIT HE IS DOING THE JOB AND DOES IT WELL - WWHAT IS IT TO YOU IF HE LEAVES EARLY!?!?!??!?!?! IF THE MUTHAFUCKER IS LATE YOU COUNCIL HIM AND WRITE HIM A WARNING IN PRIVATE - NOT TO THE WHOLE GODDAMN OFFICE...YOU DON'T SIT THERE AND STOMP YOUR FEET AND SAY

"ohhh OH I...OH I...I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! I'm getting really really PISSED! I'm on my last nerve, where is he?!"

I want to knock the cubicle over and and crush her head right now..

2) Everyone in this office was a piece of shit in high school and got picked on and now they shit on everyone else to make themselves feel big. You see Johny Corporate roll up in his beamer and talk down to people... "YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE TO PROOFREAD YOUR EMAILS!! THIS JUST CAN'T HAPPEN" and you say, I'm sorry it won't happen again, and they continue and STOMP THEIR FOOT LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE GODDAMN WORLD...

"THIS...THIS...THIS CANNOT HAPPEN...THIS CAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN...wha...WHAT was going through your mind?"

And it's funny as shit when they get LAID OFF AND HAVE TO TRADE IN THAT BEAMER - I HOPE THEIR WHOLE FAMILIES STARVE AND THEY HAVE TO SELL THE WIFE'S NEW SUV AND SELL THEIR CHILDREN INTO SLAVERY ---I WANT THEM TO DIE OF CANCER

Who the fuck takes their work that personally?! Look, it's afucking job - if you want to do it well, DO IT...take pride WHO CARES I DON'T...but when you start making your job your LIFE FORCE AND FOCAL POINT FOR EXISTENCE...man I won't give my fucking job away because I can't afford to be fired but...I work to put those STUPID FUCING OLD PEOPLE into supermarkets to demonstrate the products- you know the ones who put toothpicks in the sausages and give them out...well we were arranging a goddamned demonstration in a fucking store and a WOMAN STORMS INTO THE OFFICE CRYING - THE GODDAMN BITCH WAS CRYING and saying how we couldn't demonstrate hard boiled eggs because it was a FUCKING HEALTH VIOLATION TO MAKE EGGS AND BRING THEM TO THE STORES

well...WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!?!? LET THE GODDAMN COMPANY WORRY ABOUT IT - WHY ARE YOU CRYING OVER A HARD BOILED EGG?!?!??!

3) Why is it people get excited over a weekend or a vacation? It's just over quickly anyway because you wasted your whole life working for 2 goddamn days off which you just sleep through...and before you even BLINK TWICE - it's back to slavery...

people fucking cross their fingers and point to the calender all goddamn year waiting to go on vacation - like it's freedom - NO YOU STUPID FUCK - you STILL HAVE A JOB TO GO TO...how can you possibly enjoy that shit knowing full damn well it's going to be over before you know it and you'll have to be at work in a week...you work 25 years in a company and get maybe a month for vacation...IF THAT ISN'T SLAVERY I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

4) I hate my goddamn boss and I want to throw the printer clear across the room at her...no matter what mistakes happen - she pins it on me, and I don't protest because I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

Half the time I have to end up looking like an idiot and here's an example for you:

a) We must have strawberries for the stores.
b) The strawberry department tells me personally that there are strawberries in the stores and send me a confirmation email.
c) MY BOSS ASKS ME TO CALL ALL STORES PERSONALLY (OVER 50 STORES) AND CONFIRM THEY HAVE *STRAWBERRIES* AND THEN CC EMAIL THE FUCKING STAWBERRY DEPARTMENT AND TELL THEM THERE ARE STRAWBERRIES THERE
d) I get an email asking me why I did what I did, when they told me PERSONALLY THERE ARE STRAWBERRIES in the stores...

so I look like a goddamn retard and the office starts gossipping and lets say 1 store, for ONE GODDAMN day runs out of strawberries -it's MY GODDAMN FAULT FOR NOT ASKING THEM TO ORDER EXTRA STRAWBERRIES

my question is...WHO THE FUCK CARES??!?! just give me my shit to type and LEAVE ME ALONE - but there they go huffing and PUFFING AND STRESSING OVER THIS BULLSHIT like oh my god we have got to get STRAWBERRIES IN THE STORES...

if this has entertained you so far, please let me know - or if it bored you please let me know.
 
C

Cheeze

Sicc OG
#4
Apr 26, 2002
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#4
King, you got to realize that some people do make their jobs their lives. They trip about shit that seems petty to you because it does affect their pride / performance. The more you act like it's not a big fuckin deal the more you'll piss them off. So just keep doing what your doing, and one day you'll see them get fired cause of something that you did. their are advantages about being at the bottom. You can pick up and leave anytime to find a job like the one you're doing. If they have a high position and get fired, then nobodys gonna want to offer them another high position cause they can't work with people or companies will think they are screw ups. Maybe someday those folks will end up at your level and then you can fuck with them.
 
P

phil

Sicc OG
#5
Apr 25, 2002
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#5
man, yall are lucky as fuck to be sittin in an air conditioned office kickin it on a message board though. i probably dont make what yall do and i unload trailers all day. every day. insurance is 300 bucks a month with a 500 deductible on each family member. severance pay? lmao!!!! im in the unemployment line if i lose my job. 10000 dollars to get fired? out of curiosity do yall have college degrees or can any old schmoe like myself get an office job? preferrably with a severance pay. :)
 
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phil

Sicc OG
#6
Apr 25, 2002
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#6
so whats the computer field to get into where i could make 50000+ my first year with a 2 year degree. or is that in my imagination???
 
B

BIG J

Sicc OG
#8
Apr 26, 2002
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#8
hmmmmm. I wonder if I can do that shit for Apple?

I feel you SHEA, I always walk into work hoping my Boss is gonna be lying there Dead in tha middle of the floor. That Fuckin' Fat Lazy Bitch, Never pushes her wait around the store
"oh WE need to do this", then I end up doin' EVERYTHING
 
Ry

Ry

Sicc OG
#14
Apr 25, 2002
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#14
  • Ry

    Ry

Im finishing my college networking diploma course in about a month. I cant wait to work, and make some serious $$$$. I work in Safeway right now and it sucks. All the cashiers are a bunch of whining white trash losers. I dont give a fuck, I get my work done and do a good job, I dont like to get involved in all the politics. Theres always some old hag that snitches on me and my friends for taking long breaks or some other dumb shit thats none of thier business. I cant wait to throw up my middle fingers and say "fuck yall, I quit!!!"
 
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phil

Sicc OG
#16
Apr 25, 2002
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daaaaaaamnnnnn!!! well looks like its about time to give up lumping. makes me feel like poor white trash working my ass off knowing im smarter than the people in charge of me. working for pennies. when i could be making 65 gs to post on the siccness. damn.
 
Deep Thought

Deep Thought

Sicc OOG
#17
May 21, 2002
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#17
...on that note. The cost of living is going up in Sac and has been for the last 5 years or so as the influx numbers of Bay Area workers keeps rising. Rent is skyrocketing. The apt. my sisters had in 96/97 for 650 was 850 in 98/99. Fuckin BA fucks (don't take it personal) are snatching up everything from the locals. They drive the prices up and the competition can be fierce when it comes to applying for a simple apt.

There was a big story a few years back on these cats actually sleeping out on the dirt (like Star Wars geeks) days in advance waiting for the new model homes to go on sale. This still goes on today somewhat.

I saw an article in the Bee (our local fishwrap) where this one house in the BA sold for a quarter mil. They compared it to a house here in Sac. Shit that dump (they had pics) would fit right in in Oak Park (the hood) and you'd be lucky to get 80 thou for it. But this is just an example of what I'm talking about.

I take home just over 750 every friday (and only work 3 days a week) but if I lived in the BA, I'd be bringing home over a G a week nearly or more.
 
Deep Thought

Deep Thought

Sicc OOG
#18
May 21, 2002
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Sacramento, CA
#18
I actually had an offer for $35 an hour in San Ramon (I think that's where it was) but, I couldn't see myself making that 2-3 hour comute every freaking day. Thinking back, I'd take it now and just live down there during the week and come home on weekends.
 
Deep Thought

Deep Thought

Sicc OOG
#19
May 21, 2002
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Sacramento, CA
#19
For reals though.

Seems like only yesterday you could write your own contract walking in the door. It was a worker's market. When the .com boom began to nose-dive, everything changed. Now we have to scramble like everyone else for position. My company, HP, just merged with Compaq. So I could very well find myself looking for work in a few months too. I'm not worried though. I'm a lucky sumbitch when it comes to the job market. I always seem to land on my feet by being in the right place, at the right time.
 
T

THA RIPPA

Sicc OG
#20
May 27, 2002
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#20
this is the first nostril king post i havent lmao the whole time...although some parts were funny...but im still feelin the hell outta this post

bring it to em nostril
 
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