I jacked this from another forum. I think it's hella funny.
C-Dub: You're pretty funny.
DirtyLaura1: I don't remember you.. but thanx
C-Dub: Wanna cyber?
DirtyLaura1: OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyLaura1: Who are you?
C-Dub: I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
C-Dub: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's.
DirtyLaura1: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
C-Dub: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order.
DirtyLaura1: Haha! OK
DirtyLaura1: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
C-Dub: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyLaura1: I want everything, baby!
C-Dub: Is this a delivery?
DirtyLaura1: Umm...Yes
DirtyLaura1: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
C-Dub: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
(pause)
DirtyLaura1: C-Dub, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
C-Dub: You can't hurry good pizza.
C-Dub: I'm on my way now though.
(pause)
DirtyLaura1: So you're at my front door now.
C-Dub: How did you know?
C-Dub: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
C-Dub: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven.
DirtyLaura1: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
C-Dub: So you're still in the bathroom?
C-Dub: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstasy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyLaura1: wtf?
DirtyLaura1: You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyLaura1: Fuk
C-Dub: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears29: Aight.
C-Dub: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears29: I slip out of my pants, just for you, C-Dub.
C-Dub: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: Oh, I like to play dress up.
C-Dub: Me too baby.
BritneySpears29: I kiss you softly on your chest.
C-Dub: I cast Level 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears29: Hey...
C-Dub: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Level 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears29: Funny I still don't see it.
C-Dub: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears29: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
C-Dub: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
C-Dub: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Level 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Level 2 Druid.
BritneySpears29: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
C-Dub: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
C-Dub: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
C-Dub: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
C-Dub: Baby?
C-Dub: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears29: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears29: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
C-Dub: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
C-Dub: Oh shiat.
BritneySpears29: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
C-Dub: Oh shiat
C-Dub: Damn I gotta write down their names or something...
sexyjen: Thats ok. Ok I'm a Japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
C-Dub: A Rhinoceros. Well, hung like one, that's for sure.
sexyjen: Haha, ok lets go.
sexyjen: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
C-Dub: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexyjen: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexyjen: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't were shirts.
sexyjen: No, your not really a Rhinoceros silly, it's just part of the game.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
sexyjen: Stop, c'mon be serious.
C-Dub: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinoceros about to charge your ass.
C-Dub: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexyjen: Thats it.
C-Dub: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
C-Dub: Goddamn am I hard now.
C-Dub: You're pretty funny.
DirtyLaura1: I don't remember you.. but thanx
C-Dub: Wanna cyber?
DirtyLaura1: OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyLaura1: Who are you?
C-Dub: I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
C-Dub: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's.
DirtyLaura1: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
C-Dub: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order.
DirtyLaura1: Haha! OK
DirtyLaura1: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
C-Dub: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyLaura1: I want everything, baby!
C-Dub: Is this a delivery?
DirtyLaura1: Umm...Yes
DirtyLaura1: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
C-Dub: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
(pause)
DirtyLaura1: C-Dub, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
C-Dub: You can't hurry good pizza.
C-Dub: I'm on my way now though.
(pause)
DirtyLaura1: So you're at my front door now.
C-Dub: How did you know?
C-Dub: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
C-Dub: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven.
DirtyLaura1: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
C-Dub: So you're still in the bathroom?
C-Dub: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstasy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyLaura1: wtf?
DirtyLaura1: You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyLaura1: Fuk
C-Dub: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears29: Aight.
C-Dub: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears29: I slip out of my pants, just for you, C-Dub.
C-Dub: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: Oh, I like to play dress up.
C-Dub: Me too baby.
BritneySpears29: I kiss you softly on your chest.
C-Dub: I cast Level 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears29: Hey...
C-Dub: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Level 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears29: Funny I still don't see it.
C-Dub: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears29: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
C-Dub: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
C-Dub: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Level 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Level 2 Druid.
BritneySpears29: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
C-Dub: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
C-Dub: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
C-Dub: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
C-Dub: Baby?
C-Dub: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears29: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears29: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
C-Dub: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
C-Dub: Oh shiat.
BritneySpears29: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
C-Dub: Oh shiat
C-Dub: Damn I gotta write down their names or something...
sexyjen: Thats ok. Ok I'm a Japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
C-Dub: A Rhinoceros. Well, hung like one, that's for sure.
sexyjen: Haha, ok lets go.
sexyjen: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
C-Dub: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexyjen: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexyjen: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't were shirts.
sexyjen: No, your not really a Rhinoceros silly, it's just part of the game.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
sexyjen: Stop, c'mon be serious.
C-Dub: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinoceros about to charge your ass.
C-Dub: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexyjen: Thats it.
C-Dub: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
C-Dub: Goddamn am I hard now.
