peep this verse. Give me input so i can fix it for recording please.

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May 21, 2002
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loaded clips and bloaded chips is a dream in this game/like freddy kruger..i kill with blades and a steady ruger/when bitches screamin his name/seein his brain all sicc and twisted..like twizzlers..im thickand rigid like scissors/suckaz get fried like shrimp at sizzler/turn em into the daily special/im a scaley vessle/switchin from man to fish like hyde back to dr. jeckel/its a split personality/hit quick with a fatality/ so gruesome its sickening/makin u vomit..im on it..like the omish..no new ones listening/to the heat i spit/u get stuck with the beat i shit/like x lax/pourin out like powder..every hour..like a meth lab/this is real homie check that/i wreck that..with a tech "stat"/like E.R./no one is as savage as we are/we see far..ahead with the infrared/like a telescope/im hella dope..like a vito sellin rope/a straight savage..with state cabbage/breakin the law/im gonna ride for this game makin it raw.

this took me like a half hour so if its not up to par then thats why im askin for input.thanx peece.