Things not to stick your peehole IN
the space between Mike Tyson's front teeth
an electric cattle fence
a Salvation Army bucket
an occupied voting booth
a nutcracker
Marguerite Piazza
an overheating radiator
a lit jack-o-lantern
a shot glass full of super glue
a pasta maker
the vacuum at Mister Pride Car Wash
a square dance
The Jaws of Life
closing elevator doors
a clipboard
The men's room at Oak Court Mall
a stun gun
a Presto Fry Daddy
a food processor
an octopus
any hole in a dike (yes, pun intended)
a chinese fingertrap
a leper
an autoclave
a cow milking machine
a hotdog bun at the office picnic
the ticket window at the Orpheum
a parrot cage
Warren Sapp's facemask
the ball return at the bowling alley
a bear trap
a waffle iron
a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket, while sitting next to your mom, at the movies
Ol' Faithful
the lobster tank at the Super Walmart
a pottery kiln
Magic Johnson
a Klan rally
a cotton picker
revolving door
a paper shredder
a broccoli & cheeze Hot Pocket
a hibernating grizzly bear
Janet Reno
the fence at the kindergarden playground
a laminating machine
a channel catfish
the change slot of a cigarette machine
your Grandma's casket
bicycle spokes
Shamu's blow hole
road kill
the collection plate
A NASCAR pitstop
a roll of pink fiberglass insulation
a full spitoon
a crack ho
a cage full o' monkeys
a pitching machine
a police horse
A George Foreman Grill
GI Joe's kung fu grip
a lit can of sterno
a hot tamale
The office copier
A Jellyfish
Rocky The Redbird
the ice sculpture at the Peabody Brunch
a pile of white-hot charcoal
the family turkey, during the prayer, at Thanksgiving
a running weed eater
an electric pencil sharpener
an oil pan drain plug
a box fan
spinach dip at the office party
open window of a squad car
a termite mound
a pot of chili
a snapping turtle
a mortar
a sand blaster
a cigar cutter
a rat trap
a male elephant's trunk
a car cigarette lighter
boiling tar
a pencil sharpener
a coffee grinder
a large mouth bass
an empty eye socket
a light socket
anything with more legs than you
a Smooth Moves Juicer
The drive-through window at McDonalds
a garbage dispose-all
a pool skimmer
a bee hive
a wood chipper
a salad shooter
Things not to stick IN your peehole
the little ball from the roulette wheel
a shot of ice cold Stoli
a Scooby snack
Mary Kate and Ashley Olson's baby teeth
Lorenzen Wright's bobble-head doll
a centipede
a bar of zanax
your grandma's hearing aid
a Whitman's Sampler one at a time
one of the new Tennessee quarters
Christopher Lowell's tounge ring
a sardine
a pickled egg
head lice
the Olympic Torch
pan-handled change
a buzzard's beak
rum balls
black powder & bird shot
the little antenna on the back of a squad car
an ornament hook
Stumpy's hair pick
a que ball
a Captain D's hush puppy
a cat turd
Flieshman's active dry yeast
a Butterball pop-up thermometer
mince meat
David Alan Coe's tounge post
Your Dad's Old Spice
a Pool Cue
Hail
a carpet knife
a small hermit crab
Mace
Steel Wool
a nail polish brush
Peanut M & M
Liquid Cement
Alberto VO5
Catnip
a black eyed pea
a rabbit turd
Dippin' Dots
a Windshield deicer
Just For Men for beards
a catfish whisker
a French Fried Tater
a Salad Crouton
Kibbles & Bits
a roach
a tadpole
Crumbled Bleu Cheese
Old Spice
a Cadillac hood ornament
a hatpin
Fiberglass insulation
Black powder
a Skittle
Freshly brewed espresso
Balsomic Vinegarette
a dog whistle
Compressed air
a crawfish claw
Mardi Gras beads
a cocktail onion
a carrot peeler
a Zippo flint
Sunlight through a magnifying glass
An uncoiled Slinky
Absolut
The point of a geometry compass
a small barrel cactus
a fireplace match
Charcoal starter
a Capri Sun straw
Mechanical pencil lead
The pointy end of an Alaskan King Crab leg
An Atomic Red Ball jawbreaker
a Mexican Jumping Bean
Red eye gravy
Hot Saki
a six inch spike heel
The spring from a ball point pen
a lit birthday candle
Aquarium gravel
The second hand from a large wall clock
Prozac
a clove of garlic
a Flintstones Chewable Vitamin
a cockleburr
a fruit roll-up
a Milk Dud
a watch battery
Jelly Bellies
Hot bacon grease
a fondue fork
a minnow
Frankencense or Myrrh
a yule log
a reindeer antler
a sleigh bell
Icicle lights
a chestnut roasting on an open fire
a "Santa Stop Here" sign
One of the screws from your Christmas tree stand
a poinsetta
Egg Nog
a hunk of fruitcake
An olive pit
Mistletoe
The wire end of a fake Christmas tree branch
One of them Christmas Tree light bulbs
Popcorn shrimp
Toggle bolt
The pop-up timer from your turkey
Grape Nuts
Rum-soaked raisins
Little chips of Efferdent
The worm from a bottle of Tequila
a june bug
a mothball
a pixie stick
a corkscrew
a plugged in soldering iron
Licorice jellybean
a tick
Your door key
a sharpened No. 2 pencil
One of those needles you use to pump up a football
Electric tweezers from the Operation game
a squirt or two of Afrin Nasal Spray
Molten lead
Candy Corn
Goldschlager
Pickled okra
Silly Putty
a 6 ft. stainless steel CB antennae
a hot glue gun
Toenail clippings
An ant farm
Cloves
An air tube from your aquarium
Unpopped popcorn
a dab of Superglue
Sterno
Sparkplug wire from your lawnmower while you're starting it
One of them little corn on the cob skewers
a vine of poison ivy
a croquet hook
The brush from your mom's mascara kit
Marguerita salt and a squeeze of lime
a rusty curb feeler
a pronto-pup stick coated in mustard
a Q-Tip coated with Vicks Vapor Rub
a golf tee
Noxema
The beak from a live hummingbird
a AAa battery
a string of pearls... one at a time
An Altoid
The lit end of a stick of incense
Fix-a-flat
Two words: Ben-Gay
Cheez-Wiz
a brush from a bottle of Liquid Paper
Sea Monkeys
BB's
The bit from a running router
a used pipecleaner
a meat thermometer
a live bumblebee
Copenhagen
Pop Rocks
The feathered end of a Huey's toothpick
One of them little bitty candy canes
An old fashioned lawn dart
a swizzle stick
a lit sparkler
a barbed fish hook
the space between Mike Tyson's front teeth
an electric cattle fence
a Salvation Army bucket
an occupied voting booth
a nutcracker
Marguerite Piazza
an overheating radiator
a lit jack-o-lantern
a shot glass full of super glue
a pasta maker
the vacuum at Mister Pride Car Wash
a square dance
The Jaws of Life
closing elevator doors
a clipboard
The men's room at Oak Court Mall
a stun gun
a Presto Fry Daddy
a food processor
an octopus
any hole in a dike (yes, pun intended)
a chinese fingertrap
a leper
an autoclave
a cow milking machine
a hotdog bun at the office picnic
the ticket window at the Orpheum
a parrot cage
Warren Sapp's facemask
the ball return at the bowling alley
a bear trap
a waffle iron
a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket, while sitting next to your mom, at the movies
Ol' Faithful
the lobster tank at the Super Walmart
a pottery kiln
Magic Johnson
a Klan rally
a cotton picker
revolving door
a paper shredder
a broccoli & cheeze Hot Pocket
a hibernating grizzly bear
Janet Reno
the fence at the kindergarden playground
a laminating machine
a channel catfish
the change slot of a cigarette machine
your Grandma's casket
bicycle spokes
Shamu's blow hole
road kill
the collection plate
A NASCAR pitstop
a roll of pink fiberglass insulation
a full spitoon
a crack ho
a cage full o' monkeys
a pitching machine
a police horse
A George Foreman Grill
GI Joe's kung fu grip
a lit can of sterno
a hot tamale
The office copier
A Jellyfish
Rocky The Redbird
the ice sculpture at the Peabody Brunch
a pile of white-hot charcoal
the family turkey, during the prayer, at Thanksgiving
a running weed eater
an electric pencil sharpener
an oil pan drain plug
a box fan
spinach dip at the office party
open window of a squad car
a termite mound
a pot of chili
a snapping turtle
a mortar
a sand blaster
a cigar cutter
a rat trap
a male elephant's trunk
a car cigarette lighter
boiling tar
a pencil sharpener
a coffee grinder
a large mouth bass
an empty eye socket
a light socket
anything with more legs than you
a Smooth Moves Juicer
The drive-through window at McDonalds
a garbage dispose-all
a pool skimmer
a bee hive
a wood chipper
a salad shooter
Things not to stick IN your peehole
the little ball from the roulette wheel
a shot of ice cold Stoli
a Scooby snack
Mary Kate and Ashley Olson's baby teeth
Lorenzen Wright's bobble-head doll
a centipede
a bar of zanax
your grandma's hearing aid
a Whitman's Sampler one at a time
one of the new Tennessee quarters
Christopher Lowell's tounge ring
a sardine
a pickled egg
head lice
the Olympic Torch
pan-handled change
a buzzard's beak
rum balls
black powder & bird shot
the little antenna on the back of a squad car
an ornament hook
Stumpy's hair pick
a que ball
a Captain D's hush puppy
a cat turd
Flieshman's active dry yeast
a Butterball pop-up thermometer
mince meat
David Alan Coe's tounge post
Your Dad's Old Spice
a Pool Cue
Hail
a carpet knife
a small hermit crab
Mace
Steel Wool
a nail polish brush
Peanut M & M
Liquid Cement
Alberto VO5
Catnip
a black eyed pea
a rabbit turd
Dippin' Dots
a Windshield deicer
Just For Men for beards
a catfish whisker
a French Fried Tater
a Salad Crouton
Kibbles & Bits
a roach
a tadpole
Crumbled Bleu Cheese
Old Spice
a Cadillac hood ornament
a hatpin
Fiberglass insulation
Black powder
a Skittle
Freshly brewed espresso
Balsomic Vinegarette
a dog whistle
Compressed air
a crawfish claw
Mardi Gras beads
a cocktail onion
a carrot peeler
a Zippo flint
Sunlight through a magnifying glass
An uncoiled Slinky
Absolut
The point of a geometry compass
a small barrel cactus
a fireplace match
Charcoal starter
a Capri Sun straw
Mechanical pencil lead
The pointy end of an Alaskan King Crab leg
An Atomic Red Ball jawbreaker
a Mexican Jumping Bean
Red eye gravy
Hot Saki
a six inch spike heel
The spring from a ball point pen
a lit birthday candle
Aquarium gravel
The second hand from a large wall clock
Prozac
a clove of garlic
a Flintstones Chewable Vitamin
a cockleburr
a fruit roll-up
a Milk Dud
a watch battery
Jelly Bellies
Hot bacon grease
a fondue fork
a minnow
Frankencense or Myrrh
a yule log
a reindeer antler
a sleigh bell
Icicle lights
a chestnut roasting on an open fire
a "Santa Stop Here" sign
One of the screws from your Christmas tree stand
a poinsetta
Egg Nog
a hunk of fruitcake
An olive pit
Mistletoe
The wire end of a fake Christmas tree branch
One of them Christmas Tree light bulbs
Popcorn shrimp
Toggle bolt
The pop-up timer from your turkey
Grape Nuts
Rum-soaked raisins
Little chips of Efferdent
The worm from a bottle of Tequila
a june bug
a mothball
a pixie stick
a corkscrew
a plugged in soldering iron
Licorice jellybean
a tick
Your door key
a sharpened No. 2 pencil
One of those needles you use to pump up a football
Electric tweezers from the Operation game
a squirt or two of Afrin Nasal Spray
Molten lead
Candy Corn
Goldschlager
Pickled okra
Silly Putty
a 6 ft. stainless steel CB antennae
a hot glue gun
Toenail clippings
An ant farm
Cloves
An air tube from your aquarium
Unpopped popcorn
a dab of Superglue
Sterno
Sparkplug wire from your lawnmower while you're starting it
One of them little corn on the cob skewers
a vine of poison ivy
a croquet hook
The brush from your mom's mascara kit
Marguerita salt and a squeeze of lime
a rusty curb feeler
a pronto-pup stick coated in mustard
a Q-Tip coated with Vicks Vapor Rub
a golf tee
Noxema
The beak from a live hummingbird
a AAa battery
a string of pearls... one at a time
An Altoid
The lit end of a stick of incense
Fix-a-flat
Two words: Ben-Gay
Cheez-Wiz
a brush from a bottle of Liquid Paper
Sea Monkeys
BB's
The bit from a running router
a used pipecleaner
a meat thermometer
a live bumblebee
Copenhagen
Pop Rocks
The feathered end of a Huey's toothpick
One of them little bitty candy canes
An old fashioned lawn dart
a swizzle stick
a lit sparkler
a barbed fish hook
where do people find this shit?
