you can read a copy of Andrea Mackris's complaint here
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html
O'Reilly Hit With Sex Harass Suit
- Thread starter nefar559
- Start date
I don't think this is really going to effect him...I mean, his image has really been going down since his interview with Jesus...
O'Reilly: Whatever. Say, Jesus, what's your take on Roy Moore and the Supreme Court? Don't you think the ACLU is trying to purge any mention of religion from American life?
Jesus: Bill, I obviously am of the opinion that religion can be a positive thing...
O'Reilly: Well, we agree on something...
Jesus: But I think Mr. Moore violated the principal of "separation of church and state" by placing the Ten Commandments outside his courthouse. I think it's wise to keep myself, and Allah, Mohammed, Buddha, Gary Coleman, etc., from being used to further governments that stigmatize those not of the "official faith." And Bill, any student of medieval history could tell you all about the destructive influence of religion (specifically the misuse of my own) for the Cru...
O'Reilly: Let me stop you right there, hippie. We here at "The Factor" obtained a super-secret document from inside the ACLU, stating quite clearly that, and I quote, "God has no place in the modern American dialogue, and thus we Communists sympathizers should do all we can to strike his name from the record. Hail Satan." Now, you can't tell me that's a forgery, or that someone's pulling our tails. This is an actual, and pretty damning wouldn't you say, memo from inside the offices of the most unpatriotic, godless organization since Hitler!
Jesus: Bill, trust me when I say that was a forgery. You can see the stains from the "O'Reilly Factor" coffee cup...
O'Reilly (yelling): That's a baseless accusation! How dare you come on my show, MY show, and accuse me of trying to falsify information. I won two Peabodys back with "Inside Edition," you'd think I know a thing or two about journalistic ethics!
Jesus: Sorry, I'm just unable to ignore...
O'Reilly (face breaking out in splotches): I'll tell you what you can ignore! You come on my show, you insult the very seriousness of the Super Bowl half-time incident, and then you accuse me of being a liar! What are you, Al Franken?!
Jesus: I am the Son and the Light, and all that come unto me...
O'Reilly: Okay, whatever. So you're a Bush-basher, aren't you, Mr. Christ?
Jesus: Bill, I simply wish to point out that President Bush is a bit mistaken in thinking I told him to propose a constitutional amendment on marriage being a union between a man and a woman.
O'Reilly: Oh, I see. You want homosexuals running wild, procreating in the streets and marrying in public view, kissing each other and caressing the inner thighs while innocent children and New York Times best-selling authors look on, envious that they can't be open about... erm, I mean you want two men parading around, insulting the sacred trust of marriage?!
Jesus: I prefer to keep my views on such matters private.
O'Reilly: I bet you do, perv...
Jesus: But Bill, don't you think compassion should rule the day? After all, September 11th taught us all...
O'Reilly: ...that Bush is the greatest president since Richard Nixon. Newsflash, Hay-zeus: we already knew that. That's why bleeding-heart liberals like yourself, who control the mainstream media and never would let me anchor my own news program, that's why you hate him so much and want to see him fail.
Jesus: Bill, you totally stepped over my response, and put words into my mouth.
O'Reilly: Words that you might not use in everyday conversation with the common hard-working American, J.C., but words that you no doubt use in your penthouse overlooking Times Square, where you mingle with the beautiful people of the Left and sip champagne and won't let me in unless I'm serving hors d'ouvres because I'm just another uppity Mick, ain't I? Give me a break, "Son of God" wannabe: You're just another pinko who'd thrown up his arms in defeat, just like Gore would've had HE been president. I suppose you're supporting Howard Dean, then?
Jesus: Actually, I was rooting for Sharpton, but that's a different matter...
O'Reilly: This segment's run long, Jesus, but I'll sum up for the viewers what it boils down to: You are a Communist. You hate Bush. You want Al Qaeda to rob us of every important freedom, especially the ones we've had to suspend in times of war. You dodged the draft, but not in an honorable way like George W. Bush. You think it's all right to corrupt little children by forcing them to sit with their nose to the TV screen anytime a woman shows off her naked breast. You killed Laci Peterson. You watch Larry King. You're just a tool of the liberal elite, who owned CBS back when I worked there. Or was it ABC? Never mind, the fact is you are just another hippie who wants to give Iraq to the Iraqis, who are just so dumb they'd elect Howard Dean or Saddam again. And you're supposed to be a moral leader in the religious community?
Jesus: Bill, I...
O'Reilly (cueing exit music): Well folks, that was another product of the Sixties lefties who want you to sleep with darkies and get high. Good riddance. We'll be right back with your e-mail and the address to order my new book, "Who's Looking Out for You?"
O'Reilly: Whatever. Say, Jesus, what's your take on Roy Moore and the Supreme Court? Don't you think the ACLU is trying to purge any mention of religion from American life?
Jesus: Bill, I obviously am of the opinion that religion can be a positive thing...
O'Reilly: Well, we agree on something...
Jesus: But I think Mr. Moore violated the principal of "separation of church and state" by placing the Ten Commandments outside his courthouse. I think it's wise to keep myself, and Allah, Mohammed, Buddha, Gary Coleman, etc., from being used to further governments that stigmatize those not of the "official faith." And Bill, any student of medieval history could tell you all about the destructive influence of religion (specifically the misuse of my own) for the Cru...
O'Reilly: Let me stop you right there, hippie. We here at "The Factor" obtained a super-secret document from inside the ACLU, stating quite clearly that, and I quote, "God has no place in the modern American dialogue, and thus we Communists sympathizers should do all we can to strike his name from the record. Hail Satan." Now, you can't tell me that's a forgery, or that someone's pulling our tails. This is an actual, and pretty damning wouldn't you say, memo from inside the offices of the most unpatriotic, godless organization since Hitler!
Jesus: Bill, trust me when I say that was a forgery. You can see the stains from the "O'Reilly Factor" coffee cup...
O'Reilly (yelling): That's a baseless accusation! How dare you come on my show, MY show, and accuse me of trying to falsify information. I won two Peabodys back with "Inside Edition," you'd think I know a thing or two about journalistic ethics!
Jesus: Sorry, I'm just unable to ignore...
O'Reilly (face breaking out in splotches): I'll tell you what you can ignore! You come on my show, you insult the very seriousness of the Super Bowl half-time incident, and then you accuse me of being a liar! What are you, Al Franken?!
Jesus: I am the Son and the Light, and all that come unto me...
O'Reilly: Okay, whatever. So you're a Bush-basher, aren't you, Mr. Christ?
Jesus: Bill, I simply wish to point out that President Bush is a bit mistaken in thinking I told him to propose a constitutional amendment on marriage being a union between a man and a woman.
O'Reilly: Oh, I see. You want homosexuals running wild, procreating in the streets and marrying in public view, kissing each other and caressing the inner thighs while innocent children and New York Times best-selling authors look on, envious that they can't be open about... erm, I mean you want two men parading around, insulting the sacred trust of marriage?!
Jesus: I prefer to keep my views on such matters private.
O'Reilly: I bet you do, perv...
Jesus: But Bill, don't you think compassion should rule the day? After all, September 11th taught us all...
O'Reilly: ...that Bush is the greatest president since Richard Nixon. Newsflash, Hay-zeus: we already knew that. That's why bleeding-heart liberals like yourself, who control the mainstream media and never would let me anchor my own news program, that's why you hate him so much and want to see him fail.
Jesus: Bill, you totally stepped over my response, and put words into my mouth.
O'Reilly: Words that you might not use in everyday conversation with the common hard-working American, J.C., but words that you no doubt use in your penthouse overlooking Times Square, where you mingle with the beautiful people of the Left and sip champagne and won't let me in unless I'm serving hors d'ouvres because I'm just another uppity Mick, ain't I? Give me a break, "Son of God" wannabe: You're just another pinko who'd thrown up his arms in defeat, just like Gore would've had HE been president. I suppose you're supporting Howard Dean, then?
Jesus: Actually, I was rooting for Sharpton, but that's a different matter...
O'Reilly: This segment's run long, Jesus, but I'll sum up for the viewers what it boils down to: You are a Communist. You hate Bush. You want Al Qaeda to rob us of every important freedom, especially the ones we've had to suspend in times of war. You dodged the draft, but not in an honorable way like George W. Bush. You think it's all right to corrupt little children by forcing them to sit with their nose to the TV screen anytime a woman shows off her naked breast. You killed Laci Peterson. You watch Larry King. You're just a tool of the liberal elite, who owned CBS back when I worked there. Or was it ABC? Never mind, the fact is you are just another hippie who wants to give Iraq to the Iraqis, who are just so dumb they'd elect Howard Dean or Saddam again. And you're supposed to be a moral leader in the religious community?
Jesus: Bill, I...
O'Reilly (cueing exit music): Well folks, that was another product of the Sixties lefties who want you to sleep with darkies and get high. Good riddance. We'll be right back with your e-mail and the address to order my new book, "Who's Looking Out for You?"