NFL Midterm Report
Separating contenders from pretenders at the halfway point
-- Jimbo Rhodes, Inside the Hawks
Now that we are halfway through the season, it’s time to start thinking seriously. Here are one man’s rankings. Remember, this is not necessarily a reflection of how the teams have played so far. They are a reflection of what they can expect to do from this point forward. Momentum, guys coming back from injuries, and other things play a factor. Everyone on ESPN always plays the "If the season ended today..." card. Well, the season isn’t ending today. Oh, and for you fellow wrestling fans, I’ll rank the teams in reverse order, comparing each to former members of the most influential gang of the mid-90s, the New World Order (nWo). Don’t worry if you don’t watch wrestling. I give a brief description of what we’re dealing with, so you won’t be lost. Enjoy...
32-29: The Disciple (a jobber who got the hell beat out of him every week, and every time he was on the screen, everyone changed the channel): Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans, Houston Texans. There’s a four-way fight for the #1 pick.
28: Curt Hennig (considered one of the "stars," even though he lost every week): Pittsburgh Steelers. Watching them struggle through the season is like a dream come true. Roethlisberger has been absolutely terrible this year, and with six losses and plenty of teams ahead of them in the AFC, this is the least valiant Super Bowl defense of my lifetime, even worse than the '99 Broncos (after Elway retired). With their young core, which includes Big Ben and Willie Parker, the front office should shift their sights at the draft and build for the future. Not even Bill Leavy could help them this year.
27-24: Scott Norton (a nobody who rarely actually won matches, but was capable of putting a hurting on the stars every once in awhile): Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders. None of these teams are any good, but what separates them from that first group of four is that they can give teams a scare, while the first four can’t.
23-20: Eric Bischoff-the wrestler (on the rare occasion that he wrestled, it was always assumed that he would get killed, but things would go his way, and he was capable of surprising people): Miami Dolphins, Buffalo Bills, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins. Of course, the comparison isn’t completely apt because some things in wrestling just don’t happen in football. Part of Bischoff’s modest in-ring success was because of outside interference, the use of weapons, and nWo member and WCW referee Nick Patrick fixing matches in Bischoff’s favor (okay, maybe wrestling and football aren’t that different). But these four teams are scary, especially if you take them lightly. None of them will make the playoffs, but I still can see any of them upsetting a playoff team and causing chaos in the standings.
19-18: K-Dogg Konnan (the most overrated member of the nWo): Dallas Cowboys, New York Jets. Both were expected to be great before the season, and they still get lots of media attention, despite really not being that great. The Cowboys can’t even figure out who their quarterback is, for god’s sake.
17-14: The Giant (lurks behind the scenes, but at any point could just decide to turn it on): St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, Carolina Panthers. These are your NFC sleepers. It’s very possible that none of them will make the playoffs, but it’s also possible that any of them could make a leap into the top group in the NFC. You never know. The Giant used to be a contender for the title, then a week later could be seen wrestling in a bingo hall on WCW Saturday Night. Same thing with these guys. You don’t know what to expect.
13-12: Vincent (vastly underrated, much better wrestler than people remember; in fact, you’ve probably never heard of him): Cincinnati Bengals, Kansas City Chiefs. Everyone always forgot about Vincent (also known as “Virgil” during his WWF days), because they insisted on keeping him in the nWo instead of pushing his character as a good guy. Same thing here. These are two teams that suffer from being in the clearly-stronger AFC. They probably won’t make much noise in January, but they could make a bunch in November and December.
11: Scott Hall (arguably the most popular nWo member, but never was in the title picture): New Orleans Saints. I love what has happened with this team so far this year. It’s great for their city, and a playoff team would be even better. Still, I can’t put them in the same category with the legit title contenders. At least not yet.
10-9: Syxx (never considered in the upper echelon, but always seemed to show up; you never considered him a title threat): Jacksonville Jaguars, Atlanta Falcons. Syxx (who also had non-consecutive runs in the WWF where he was known as the 1-2-3 Kid and X-Pac, respectively) was a great athlete in his day. Long before he ruined his name forever on The Surreal Life and horrified people worldwide with his sex tape with Chyna, he was a solid competitor who the announcers tried to convince the viewers was a title contender. Of course, all wrestling fans knew better. These two teams are good, but no one really believes they have what it takes to win the whole thing.
8-6: "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner (was on the verge of making the leap into superstardom): New York Giants, Baltimore Ravens, San Diego Chargers. Now we’re getting into really good teams. Steiner still wasn’t considered a guy that could hold the title yet, but had so much charisma and took more steroids than the rest of the WCW roster combined, that you just knew something could happen at any minute. But he didn’t get his big break for a couple of years. He just wasn’t completely ready yet.
5: Eric Bischoff-the boss (controlled all the public relations and media aspect of the nWo, made people think he was more powerful than he really was; too inexperienced; more established businessman Vince McMahon later put WCW out of business): Chicago Bears. It’s not clear that the Bears are any better than they were last year, when they finished 11-5 and lost at home to Carolina in the divisional round. They just got done with the easy part of their schedule, and now play a tough stretch (at Giants, at Jets, at New England, Minnesota, at St. Louis). During the first half of the season, they had everything go their way, long before reality will set in for their rookie quarterback. It is at this point in the season that all weaknesses in young quarterbacks are amplified.
4: Bret Hart (a true legend in the WWF, but in WCW was grossly underappreciated): Denver Broncos. Their defense is fantastic, they find a new 1,000 yard rusher every year, and they are dominating a tough division. Last year, with all of the talk around the Colts, Patriots, Bengals and Steelers; the Broncos quietly finished with the 2nd best record in the AFC, and were the only AFC team to go undefeated at home during the regular season. Don’t sleep on this team. Even so, I still don’t think they’re as good as the three teams ahead of them.
3: Randy Savage (a living legend; but you get the feeling his best days may be behind him, but you know never to doubt him): New England Patriots. I’m still not sure I totally trust Peyton Manning to beat Tom Brady in the playoffs, and the Patriots very quietly only have two losses. They’re well-coached, they have one of the best quarterbacks ever, and they know how to win. I’m terrified of them. If it weren’t for the Curse of Jimbo, we might really be in trouble.
2: "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash (the second-biggest star of the nWo, got most of the attention, and was always thought of as a guy that should be champion, even though he rarely actually held the belt): Indianapolis Colts. They’re a great team. We’ve heard all the talk and read all the stories. Manning is a stud, no question about it. With a two game lead over every other AFC team (and the tie-breaker over both of the two-loss teams), they are a lock to clinch home-field advantage. If the season ended today, they’d definitely be the favorites to win the Super Bowl, despite their shaky run defense and their chronic playoff choking. But the season doesn’t end today. Repeat: The season does not end today.
1: "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan: Seattle Seahawks. Am I just a homer for putting my beloved Seahawks at the top spot? Maybe a little, but I can do that because it’s my column. If the season ended today, they’re probably somewhere in the 10-14 range—definitely not #1, but remember, we’re judging potential for how the season will end. This team is 5-3 and in first place in the NFC West despite serious injuries to their Pro Bowl quarterback and their MVP running back. Think about that. How good would the ’98 Broncos have been if John Elway and Terrell Davis were injured for over half the year? Would they have even made the playoffs? Probably not. With the Bears on a potential downward spiral and the tie-breaker over the Giants, the Hawks might even get home-field advantage, despite the almost unfathomable injury problems. With the Hawks’ fairly light remaining schedule, the playoff experience of a year ago, the vengeance for the Bears game that they lost without Shaun, and the unity that comes with playing that many games without their two biggest stars, they’re my pick. If Alexander and Hasselbeck come back healthy, there will be no stopping them.
Remember, in 1998, Hogan was on hiatus for several months, and everyone forgot about him and counted him out, while Kevin Nash held the title, with everyone preparing for Nash to be WCW's top dog. Then, out of nowhere, Hogan was back, and beat Nash on a January 1999 episode of WCW Nitro with the infamous "Fingerpoke of Doom" to reclaim the top spot. That's all it takes, Hawks fans. We just need our stars back, and it will be smooth sailing.
Separating contenders from pretenders at the halfway point
-- Jimbo Rhodes, Inside the Hawks
Now that we are halfway through the season, it’s time to start thinking seriously. Here are one man’s rankings. Remember, this is not necessarily a reflection of how the teams have played so far. They are a reflection of what they can expect to do from this point forward. Momentum, guys coming back from injuries, and other things play a factor. Everyone on ESPN always plays the "If the season ended today..." card. Well, the season isn’t ending today. Oh, and for you fellow wrestling fans, I’ll rank the teams in reverse order, comparing each to former members of the most influential gang of the mid-90s, the New World Order (nWo). Don’t worry if you don’t watch wrestling. I give a brief description of what we’re dealing with, so you won’t be lost. Enjoy...
32-29: The Disciple (a jobber who got the hell beat out of him every week, and every time he was on the screen, everyone changed the channel): Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans, Houston Texans. There’s a four-way fight for the #1 pick.
28: Curt Hennig (considered one of the "stars," even though he lost every week): Pittsburgh Steelers. Watching them struggle through the season is like a dream come true. Roethlisberger has been absolutely terrible this year, and with six losses and plenty of teams ahead of them in the AFC, this is the least valiant Super Bowl defense of my lifetime, even worse than the '99 Broncos (after Elway retired). With their young core, which includes Big Ben and Willie Parker, the front office should shift their sights at the draft and build for the future. Not even Bill Leavy could help them this year.
27-24: Scott Norton (a nobody who rarely actually won matches, but was capable of putting a hurting on the stars every once in awhile): Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Francisco 49ers, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders. None of these teams are any good, but what separates them from that first group of four is that they can give teams a scare, while the first four can’t.
23-20: Eric Bischoff-the wrestler (on the rare occasion that he wrestled, it was always assumed that he would get killed, but things would go his way, and he was capable of surprising people): Miami Dolphins, Buffalo Bills, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins. Of course, the comparison isn’t completely apt because some things in wrestling just don’t happen in football. Part of Bischoff’s modest in-ring success was because of outside interference, the use of weapons, and nWo member and WCW referee Nick Patrick fixing matches in Bischoff’s favor (okay, maybe wrestling and football aren’t that different). But these four teams are scary, especially if you take them lightly. None of them will make the playoffs, but I still can see any of them upsetting a playoff team and causing chaos in the standings.
19-18: K-Dogg Konnan (the most overrated member of the nWo): Dallas Cowboys, New York Jets. Both were expected to be great before the season, and they still get lots of media attention, despite really not being that great. The Cowboys can’t even figure out who their quarterback is, for god’s sake.
17-14: The Giant (lurks behind the scenes, but at any point could just decide to turn it on): St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, Carolina Panthers. These are your NFC sleepers. It’s very possible that none of them will make the playoffs, but it’s also possible that any of them could make a leap into the top group in the NFC. You never know. The Giant used to be a contender for the title, then a week later could be seen wrestling in a bingo hall on WCW Saturday Night. Same thing with these guys. You don’t know what to expect.
13-12: Vincent (vastly underrated, much better wrestler than people remember; in fact, you’ve probably never heard of him): Cincinnati Bengals, Kansas City Chiefs. Everyone always forgot about Vincent (also known as “Virgil” during his WWF days), because they insisted on keeping him in the nWo instead of pushing his character as a good guy. Same thing here. These are two teams that suffer from being in the clearly-stronger AFC. They probably won’t make much noise in January, but they could make a bunch in November and December.
11: Scott Hall (arguably the most popular nWo member, but never was in the title picture): New Orleans Saints. I love what has happened with this team so far this year. It’s great for their city, and a playoff team would be even better. Still, I can’t put them in the same category with the legit title contenders. At least not yet.
10-9: Syxx (never considered in the upper echelon, but always seemed to show up; you never considered him a title threat): Jacksonville Jaguars, Atlanta Falcons. Syxx (who also had non-consecutive runs in the WWF where he was known as the 1-2-3 Kid and X-Pac, respectively) was a great athlete in his day. Long before he ruined his name forever on The Surreal Life and horrified people worldwide with his sex tape with Chyna, he was a solid competitor who the announcers tried to convince the viewers was a title contender. Of course, all wrestling fans knew better. These two teams are good, but no one really believes they have what it takes to win the whole thing.
8-6: "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner (was on the verge of making the leap into superstardom): New York Giants, Baltimore Ravens, San Diego Chargers. Now we’re getting into really good teams. Steiner still wasn’t considered a guy that could hold the title yet, but had so much charisma and took more steroids than the rest of the WCW roster combined, that you just knew something could happen at any minute. But he didn’t get his big break for a couple of years. He just wasn’t completely ready yet.
5: Eric Bischoff-the boss (controlled all the public relations and media aspect of the nWo, made people think he was more powerful than he really was; too inexperienced; more established businessman Vince McMahon later put WCW out of business): Chicago Bears. It’s not clear that the Bears are any better than they were last year, when they finished 11-5 and lost at home to Carolina in the divisional round. They just got done with the easy part of their schedule, and now play a tough stretch (at Giants, at Jets, at New England, Minnesota, at St. Louis). During the first half of the season, they had everything go their way, long before reality will set in for their rookie quarterback. It is at this point in the season that all weaknesses in young quarterbacks are amplified.
4: Bret Hart (a true legend in the WWF, but in WCW was grossly underappreciated): Denver Broncos. Their defense is fantastic, they find a new 1,000 yard rusher every year, and they are dominating a tough division. Last year, with all of the talk around the Colts, Patriots, Bengals and Steelers; the Broncos quietly finished with the 2nd best record in the AFC, and were the only AFC team to go undefeated at home during the regular season. Don’t sleep on this team. Even so, I still don’t think they’re as good as the three teams ahead of them.
3: Randy Savage (a living legend; but you get the feeling his best days may be behind him, but you know never to doubt him): New England Patriots. I’m still not sure I totally trust Peyton Manning to beat Tom Brady in the playoffs, and the Patriots very quietly only have two losses. They’re well-coached, they have one of the best quarterbacks ever, and they know how to win. I’m terrified of them. If it weren’t for the Curse of Jimbo, we might really be in trouble.
2: "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash (the second-biggest star of the nWo, got most of the attention, and was always thought of as a guy that should be champion, even though he rarely actually held the belt): Indianapolis Colts. They’re a great team. We’ve heard all the talk and read all the stories. Manning is a stud, no question about it. With a two game lead over every other AFC team (and the tie-breaker over both of the two-loss teams), they are a lock to clinch home-field advantage. If the season ended today, they’d definitely be the favorites to win the Super Bowl, despite their shaky run defense and their chronic playoff choking. But the season doesn’t end today. Repeat: The season does not end today.
1: "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan: Seattle Seahawks. Am I just a homer for putting my beloved Seahawks at the top spot? Maybe a little, but I can do that because it’s my column. If the season ended today, they’re probably somewhere in the 10-14 range—definitely not #1, but remember, we’re judging potential for how the season will end. This team is 5-3 and in first place in the NFC West despite serious injuries to their Pro Bowl quarterback and their MVP running back. Think about that. How good would the ’98 Broncos have been if John Elway and Terrell Davis were injured for over half the year? Would they have even made the playoffs? Probably not. With the Bears on a potential downward spiral and the tie-breaker over the Giants, the Hawks might even get home-field advantage, despite the almost unfathomable injury problems. With the Hawks’ fairly light remaining schedule, the playoff experience of a year ago, the vengeance for the Bears game that they lost without Shaun, and the unity that comes with playing that many games without their two biggest stars, they’re my pick. If Alexander and Hasselbeck come back healthy, there will be no stopping them.
Remember, in 1998, Hogan was on hiatus for several months, and everyone forgot about him and counted him out, while Kevin Nash held the title, with everyone preparing for Nash to be WCW's top dog. Then, out of nowhere, Hogan was back, and beat Nash on a January 1999 episode of WCW Nitro with the infamous "Fingerpoke of Doom" to reclaim the top spot. That's all it takes, Hawks fans. We just need our stars back, and it will be smooth sailing.
