The Washington Post annually publishes the results
>_ of a contest it runs for readers in which they are
>_ asked to supply alternative meanings for various
>_ words.
>
>_ The following were some of the winning entries from
>_ 2002:
>
>_ 1.__ Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
>
>_ 2.__ Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
> gained.
>
>_ 3.__ Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
>
>_ 4.__ Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
>_ 5.__ Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>
>_ 6.__ Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in
>_ which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
>
>_ 7.__ Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>
>_ 8.__ Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
>_ 9.__ Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that
>_ picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
>
>_ 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>
>_ 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>
>_ 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
>_ assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
>_ examines you.
>
>_ 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
>_ conversation with Yiddish expressions.
>
>_ 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of
>_ boxer shorts.
>
>_ 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you
>_ die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
>
>_ 16. Pokemon
, A Jamaican proctologist
>
>_ ------------------------------------------------------
>
>_ Also from the Post, this time its 2001 "Style
>_ Invitational" in which readers are asked to take a
>_ word, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing
>_ one letter and provide a definition:
>
>_ 1.__ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
>_ which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
>_ 2.__ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
>_ 3.__ Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
>_ for the purpose of getting laid (familiar to all men).
>
>_ 4.__ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
>_ 5.__ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
>_ sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
>
>_ 6.__ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
> late.
>
>_ 7.__ Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
>_ 8.__ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
>
>_ 9.__ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
>_ sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And
>_ then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a
>_ serious bummer.
>
>_ 10. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
>_ 11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
>_ seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
>
>_ 12. (Top prizewinner) -- Ignoranus: A person who's
>_ both stupid and an asshole.
>
>_ of a contest it runs for readers in which they are
>_ asked to supply alternative meanings for various
>_ words.
>
>_ The following were some of the winning entries from
>_ 2002:
>
>_ 1.__ Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
>
>_ 2.__ Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
> gained.
>
>_ 3.__ Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
>
>_ 4.__ Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
>_ 5.__ Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>
>_ 6.__ Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in
>_ which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
>
>_ 7.__ Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>
>_ 8.__ Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
>_ 9.__ Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that
>_ picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
>
>_ 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>
>_ 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>
>_ 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
>_ assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
>_ examines you.
>
>_ 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
>_ conversation with Yiddish expressions.
>
>_ 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of
>_ boxer shorts.
>
>_ 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you
>_ die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
>
>_ 16. Pokemon
, A Jamaican proctologist>
>_ ------------------------------------------------------
>
>_ Also from the Post, this time its 2001 "Style
>_ Invitational" in which readers are asked to take a
>_ word, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing
>_ one letter and provide a definition:
>
>_ 1.__ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
>_ which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
>_ 2.__ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
>_ 3.__ Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
>_ for the purpose of getting laid (familiar to all men).
>
>_ 4.__ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
>_ 5.__ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
>_ sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
>
>_ 6.__ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
> late.
>
>_ 7.__ Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
>
>_ 8.__ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
>
>_ 9.__ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
>_ sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And
>_ then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a
>_ serious bummer.
>
>_ 10. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
>_ 11. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
>_ seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
>
>_ 12. (Top prizewinner) -- Ignoranus: A person who's
>_ both stupid and an asshole.
>
