new shit by furio

[Furio]

ok i'm tryin to get somewhere here. tell me your thoughts so i can get better thanks

i heard somethin i heard before
u dont like my rhymes and i am a big bore
so i'll give you something erotic, something psychotic
crazy shit that will make ur head spin, i changed places with my evil twin
i am the weakest link on the page, now i am full of rage
i got so crazy bout this shit that i claim insanity, rippin shit apart and yelling profanity
if my shit dont get better i'll inflict bodily harm, rip off your head and beat u with your arm
if this shit isn't heat, i'll continue to compete
until then, my journey is not complete, i'll stay here til i cant stand on my feet
their gonna have to send me to a crazy prison, i'll be there till christ has risen
others say i need more metaphors, alliteration, and onomatopoeia, i'll put that into my collection of ideas
is this shit slammin, am i now jammin
can i get some recognition, or do i have to face more opposition
i find myself in a positon, where i'm on a deadly mission
i need to earn my stars, so i write these bars
i cant face this brutality, its affecting my mentality
i want to express my originality and show off my personality
i need your hospitality to rid myself of my abnormality
i expressed what was on my chest, i did it at my best
peace, i delivered

 

[-TiM C-]

dont like it at all.

 

[Furio]

y not mayn tell me
im determind to get better

 

[-TiM C-]

well.. like 60% doesnt make sense.. rhyme schemes arent complex.. vocab is basic.

 

[Furio]

how doesnt it make sense

its about im mad at the fact no one is gettin my rhymes
i dont understand, how are the words basic? shit do u want me to write in a different language?? i just dont get it

 

[BAMMER]

Re: how doesnt it make sense

shit do u want me to write in a different language??

Which one of the four will you use? lol

 

[Quick]

Re: how doesnt it make sense

its about im mad at the fact no one is gettin my rhymes
i dont understand, how are the words basic? shit do u want me to write in a different language?? i just dont get it

BASIC AS IN CAR, BAR,STAR,BILLY, WILLY AS IN THE WORDS ARE TO SIMPLE. EASY TO RHYME WITH.

 

[Furio]

listen to all the shit on the radio. its all simple too. but honestly do i have some talent?? i mean u never heard this shit b4

 

[tank locc]

that wasnt good, but i will say one thing, u r a determined muthafucca, ill give u props were props is do, u keep tryin at least

 

[DaNalej4-SHO]

how do u get better

listen to all the shit on the radio. its all simple too. but honestly do i have some talent?? i mean u never heard this shit b4

haha thats funny.dawg i dont think most peeps on tha siccness listen to radio personally.everybody on here is mostly either a thug, str8 hustler, or mc. or all 3 combined, this aint none of that commerial shit u hear in heavy rotation on stations.this is mc shyt.i think ur problem is u try too hard.listen to some music that actually has heat.try picking sum albums where wordplay is deep and interesting.Tech N9ne, Jae Rilla, Mr Kee, Blackalicious, Cali Agents,Pharoah Monch or suttin, na mean?granted, even tho' these crews and niggas aint in heavy rotation on radio, they still have more heat than n.e. thang that goes on there.stop listening to that watered down shit.Listen to sum shit that got heat b4 u try to be an mc.you sound irritated, if u dont wanna take criticism, then sit ur ass down.otherwise keep taking it back to the lab.Stay Up4-SHO