Fucking Hilarious.........
Masked Man Allegedly Robs Grandfather
Thursday, January 11, 2007 9:02 PM EST
The Associated Press
HARTSELLE, Ala. (AP) — A Harstselle man who allegedly stole $300 from his grandfather's wallet has been charged with armed robbery, authorities said.
Daniel Ray Brown, 22, remained in Morgan County Jail on $10,000 bond in connection to the robbery of Walter Ray Brown, 72, about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.
Detective Kyle Wilson said Daniel Brown donned a ski mask and jacket, armed himself with a handle from a hydraulic floor jack and made the 10-foot hike to his grandfather's home next door.
"There's a woman that lives there with his grandpa," Wilson said. "He said, 'Sit down, Bernice.' Then he goes to his grandpa's room and he says, 'This is a robbery, I need your money, and I mean it, Pa-Paw.'"
Wilson said Walter Brown was lying in bed, so his grandson grabbed his pants off a chair and took his wallet.
"He got out to the kitchen, which is in the next room, and his Pa-Paw tackled him. There was a scuffle, and he hit his Pa-Paw in the head with the handle," Wilson said.
While Walter Brown picked up the phone to call 911, Daniel Brown went back to his own home, leaving a trail — the pants, billfold, $5 and the handle — between the two houses, officials said.
Daniel Brown denied he was the man behind the mask. The cash reported stolen had not been recovered Wednesday.
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Information from: The Decatur Daily, www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/index.shtml
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Burglary Suspect Picks Bad Hiding Place
Thursday, January 11, 2007 8:10 PM EST
The Associated Press
SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) — Brian Valentino sure picked the wrong hiding place to elude police. The 33-year-old burglary suspect was being transported yesterday to the Onondaga County jail in Syracuse when he kicked out a back window of the police car and dove headfirst through the opening.
Still handcuffed, Valentino ran a short distance and ducked into a building, where he ran down a hallway and hid behind a door.
There was one problem. His hiding spot was inside the headquarters of the county sheriff's office. Apparently, Valentino didn't notice the big yellow star on the entrance.
A retired deputy working part time in the building noticed the snow-covered, handcuffed man dash into the lobby. He followed him down the hall and held onto Valentino until the officer he escaped from arrived on the scene.
Valentino now faces additional charges for the escape attempt.
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S.F. Company Launches 'Meth Coffee'
Thursday, January 11, 2007 5:10 PM EST
The Associated Press
By RON HARRIS
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — A mysterious San Francisco company has launched an equally mysterious product aimed at coffee drinkers seeking an extra boost. The company and the product share the same name — Meth Coffee.
It's a thinly veiled reference to methamphetamines, but the company admits there is no meth in its coffee — just rich arabica coffee beans and something a little different called yerba mate.
Yerba mate comes from South America and is used to make teas and coffees there. Sellers of yerba mate products claim it raises your energy level, so pairing it with already caffeinated coffee beans could provide quite the boost.
"If you're just trying it for the first time, don't throw back five cups like regular coffee. Ease into it. Have a little. Feel the rush, the euphoria, the smooth-edged high. Then go for more, if you want," the company said on its Web site.
The product, which went on sale Wednesday, is available only at the site.
But don't try asking the brains behind Meth Coffee for his secret recipe. His identity is hidden from view at this point and he only goes by the name `The Roaster.'
Meth Coffee's questionable product naming strategy is similar to the tactics of Las Vegas-based Redux Beverages LLC, which recently introduced its energy drink, Cocaine. That product, like Meth Coffee, contains no actual illegal substances, but does offer the drinker an energy boost thanks to caffeine and guarana, a South American seed that purports to be an effective stimulant.
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Man Stages Robbery to Get Back in Prison
Tuesday, January 9, 2007 9:35 PM EST
The Associated Press
SOUTH DAYTONA, Fla. (AP) — Danny Robert Villegas liked prison so much he staged a robbery just to get back in, police say. Officers were called to the Kennedy Space Center Federal Credit Union on Monday after Villegas allegedly walked inside, told the teller he was robbing her and said, "You might as well call the police now," according to a police report.
Police Lt. Ron Wright said Villegas then sat on a couch in the bank lobby to wait for police.
"He said he wanted to rob a federal bank because he wanted to go back to a federal penitentiary," Wright said. "Apparently he robbed a bank in Fresno, California, 10 years ago, was sentenced to 70 months in a federal penitentiary in Phoenix and he enjoyed his time there."
Villegas told police he was a roofer in Texas for five years after he was released from prison, but had grown tired of the work, The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported.
"Two days ago he said he decided to drive to Florida because he wanted to see the ocean," Wright said. "But he ran out of money."
Masked Man Allegedly Robs Grandfather
Thursday, January 11, 2007 9:02 PM EST
The Associated Press
HARTSELLE, Ala. (AP) — A Harstselle man who allegedly stole $300 from his grandfather's wallet has been charged with armed robbery, authorities said.
Daniel Ray Brown, 22, remained in Morgan County Jail on $10,000 bond in connection to the robbery of Walter Ray Brown, 72, about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.
Detective Kyle Wilson said Daniel Brown donned a ski mask and jacket, armed himself with a handle from a hydraulic floor jack and made the 10-foot hike to his grandfather's home next door.
"There's a woman that lives there with his grandpa," Wilson said. "He said, 'Sit down, Bernice.' Then he goes to his grandpa's room and he says, 'This is a robbery, I need your money, and I mean it, Pa-Paw.'"
Wilson said Walter Brown was lying in bed, so his grandson grabbed his pants off a chair and took his wallet.
"He got out to the kitchen, which is in the next room, and his Pa-Paw tackled him. There was a scuffle, and he hit his Pa-Paw in the head with the handle," Wilson said.
While Walter Brown picked up the phone to call 911, Daniel Brown went back to his own home, leaving a trail — the pants, billfold, $5 and the handle — between the two houses, officials said.
Daniel Brown denied he was the man behind the mask. The cash reported stolen had not been recovered Wednesday.
———
Information from: The Decatur Daily, www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/index.shtml
------------------------------------------------------
Burglary Suspect Picks Bad Hiding Place
Thursday, January 11, 2007 8:10 PM EST
The Associated Press
SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) — Brian Valentino sure picked the wrong hiding place to elude police. The 33-year-old burglary suspect was being transported yesterday to the Onondaga County jail in Syracuse when he kicked out a back window of the police car and dove headfirst through the opening.
Still handcuffed, Valentino ran a short distance and ducked into a building, where he ran down a hallway and hid behind a door.
There was one problem. His hiding spot was inside the headquarters of the county sheriff's office. Apparently, Valentino didn't notice the big yellow star on the entrance.
A retired deputy working part time in the building noticed the snow-covered, handcuffed man dash into the lobby. He followed him down the hall and held onto Valentino until the officer he escaped from arrived on the scene.
Valentino now faces additional charges for the escape attempt.
-------------------------------------------------------------
S.F. Company Launches 'Meth Coffee'
Thursday, January 11, 2007 5:10 PM EST
The Associated Press
By RON HARRIS
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — A mysterious San Francisco company has launched an equally mysterious product aimed at coffee drinkers seeking an extra boost. The company and the product share the same name — Meth Coffee.
It's a thinly veiled reference to methamphetamines, but the company admits there is no meth in its coffee — just rich arabica coffee beans and something a little different called yerba mate.
Yerba mate comes from South America and is used to make teas and coffees there. Sellers of yerba mate products claim it raises your energy level, so pairing it with already caffeinated coffee beans could provide quite the boost.
"If you're just trying it for the first time, don't throw back five cups like regular coffee. Ease into it. Have a little. Feel the rush, the euphoria, the smooth-edged high. Then go for more, if you want," the company said on its Web site.
The product, which went on sale Wednesday, is available only at the site.
But don't try asking the brains behind Meth Coffee for his secret recipe. His identity is hidden from view at this point and he only goes by the name `The Roaster.'
Meth Coffee's questionable product naming strategy is similar to the tactics of Las Vegas-based Redux Beverages LLC, which recently introduced its energy drink, Cocaine. That product, like Meth Coffee, contains no actual illegal substances, but does offer the drinker an energy boost thanks to caffeine and guarana, a South American seed that purports to be an effective stimulant.
----------------------------------------------------
Man Stages Robbery to Get Back in Prison
Tuesday, January 9, 2007 9:35 PM EST
The Associated Press
SOUTH DAYTONA, Fla. (AP) — Danny Robert Villegas liked prison so much he staged a robbery just to get back in, police say. Officers were called to the Kennedy Space Center Federal Credit Union on Monday after Villegas allegedly walked inside, told the teller he was robbing her and said, "You might as well call the police now," according to a police report.
Police Lt. Ron Wright said Villegas then sat on a couch in the bank lobby to wait for police.
"He said he wanted to rob a federal bank because he wanted to go back to a federal penitentiary," Wright said. "Apparently he robbed a bank in Fresno, California, 10 years ago, was sentenced to 70 months in a federal penitentiary in Phoenix and he enjoyed his time there."
Villegas told police he was a roofer in Texas for five years after he was released from prison, but had grown tired of the work, The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported.
"Two days ago he said he decided to drive to Florida because he wanted to see the ocean," Wright said. "But he ran out of money."