The other day, I was riding the "L" to work in the morning. For those outside of Chicago, the "L" is the elevated train / subway that travels throughout the city and carries a wide range of people and communicable diseases. The trains occasionally jump off the track, or have pieces of buildings falling and landing on the rails. A few weeks ago, part of one of the tracks broke off and smashed through the windshield of a taxi around the same time that a container of cyanide was found in one of the tunnels.
Anyway, I had purchased a tasty cup of coffee from Bittersweet, a coffee shop right down the street from my apartment and on my way to the "L" stop. The cup was a typical to-go coffee cup with a plastic lid through which one can sip the piping hot beverage without spilling. As convenient as the paper cups may be, they have an unfortunate tendency to leak right under the lid by the seam of the cup.
After I had boarded the "L" train, I was sitting and drinking the coffee when I noticed a small amount had spilled on my finger. For some reason, I decided to wipe the coffee on the seat next to me. Ordinarily I would have used a napkin, but the only one I had was in my back pocket and I was sitting on that at the moment.
A few minutes later, I noticed that some coffee had spilled on that same finger. Since I felt bad about wiping coffee on the seat, I instinctively licked the coffee off my finger. This was the same finger that I had wiped on the seat. As soon as I licked my finger, I froze in terror, thinking about the sorts of filth, disease, and bodily fluids I had just transferred into my mouth.
Sometimes people who go shopping set their bags down on the sidewalk temporarily, then carry them onto the train and set them on the seat. I had just licked the city sidewalk. Sometimes drunks on their way to/from a Cubs game vomit on themselves and sit down in a seat. I had just licked a drunk's vomit. Sometimes bums with nothing better to do will get on the train and sit on their asses for hours at a time. I had just licked a bum's ass.
And so goes the origin of the phrase. I would like the phrase to take on meaning similar to "faux pas" or "sticking one's foot in one's mouth", except with a slight twist. Specifically, "licking a bum's ass" does not have to happen in a social atmosphere - you can do it with no involvement from anyone else. In addition, "licking a bum's ass" has a much stronger connotation than either of the other phrases because it invokes images of personal terror in the audience's mind.
Sample usage: imagine that you went out drinking heavily one night, came home, and went to sleep. The next day, you check your "Sent Email" folder and find that you sent ten emails between the hours of 3am and 5am: five of them sent to your ex-girlfriend, four sent to co-workers, and one sent to a local massage parlor inquiring if they "offer any additional services". When you were describing these happenings to a friend later, you would say, "Well, I really licked a bum's ass last night..." and then you would describe your actions in great detail.
As responses to this message, I would like to see:
* Tales of times when you or someone you know has licked a bum's ass
* Examples of other situations where one could apply the phrase "lick a bum's ass"
* Addresses of other web pages which begin using the phrase "lick a bum's ass"
We all lick a bum's ass once in a while... it was only a matter of time before someone gave it a name.
Thanks, and happy licking!
Anyway, I had purchased a tasty cup of coffee from Bittersweet, a coffee shop right down the street from my apartment and on my way to the "L" stop. The cup was a typical to-go coffee cup with a plastic lid through which one can sip the piping hot beverage without spilling. As convenient as the paper cups may be, they have an unfortunate tendency to leak right under the lid by the seam of the cup.
After I had boarded the "L" train, I was sitting and drinking the coffee when I noticed a small amount had spilled on my finger. For some reason, I decided to wipe the coffee on the seat next to me. Ordinarily I would have used a napkin, but the only one I had was in my back pocket and I was sitting on that at the moment.
A few minutes later, I noticed that some coffee had spilled on that same finger. Since I felt bad about wiping coffee on the seat, I instinctively licked the coffee off my finger. This was the same finger that I had wiped on the seat. As soon as I licked my finger, I froze in terror, thinking about the sorts of filth, disease, and bodily fluids I had just transferred into my mouth.
Sometimes people who go shopping set their bags down on the sidewalk temporarily, then carry them onto the train and set them on the seat. I had just licked the city sidewalk. Sometimes drunks on their way to/from a Cubs game vomit on themselves and sit down in a seat. I had just licked a drunk's vomit. Sometimes bums with nothing better to do will get on the train and sit on their asses for hours at a time. I had just licked a bum's ass.
And so goes the origin of the phrase. I would like the phrase to take on meaning similar to "faux pas" or "sticking one's foot in one's mouth", except with a slight twist. Specifically, "licking a bum's ass" does not have to happen in a social atmosphere - you can do it with no involvement from anyone else. In addition, "licking a bum's ass" has a much stronger connotation than either of the other phrases because it invokes images of personal terror in the audience's mind.
Sample usage: imagine that you went out drinking heavily one night, came home, and went to sleep. The next day, you check your "Sent Email" folder and find that you sent ten emails between the hours of 3am and 5am: five of them sent to your ex-girlfriend, four sent to co-workers, and one sent to a local massage parlor inquiring if they "offer any additional services". When you were describing these happenings to a friend later, you would say, "Well, I really licked a bum's ass last night..." and then you would describe your actions in great detail.
As responses to this message, I would like to see:
* Tales of times when you or someone you know has licked a bum's ass
* Examples of other situations where one could apply the phrase "lick a bum's ass"
* Addresses of other web pages which begin using the phrase "lick a bum's ass"
We all lick a bum's ass once in a while... it was only a matter of time before someone gave it a name.
Thanks, and happy licking!
