LET'S TALK ABOUT VAGINAL-RELATED MEDICAL JARGON.

[Homeless J]

I am typing all of this up from my Merck's Medical Manual, which I constantly read while on the toilet.

What causes an abnormal vaginal discharge?

Infection:
* Bacteria, such as chlamydiae (the clam chowder) and gonococci (the guacamole splatters)
* Fungi, such as Candida (especially among women who have diabetes, are pregnant, or are taking antibiotics)
* Protozoans, such as Trichomonas vaginalis
* Viruses, such as human papillomavirus (HPV) and herpesvirus

Irritation:
* Spermicides, lubricants, condoms, diaphragms, cervical caps, and sponges
* Laundry soaps and fabric softeners
* Deodorant sprays and soaps
* Bathwater additives
* Frequent douching
* Foreign objects in the vagina
* Tight, nonporous, nonabsorbent underpants
* Stool (feces, not the thing you sit on at the bar)

Tumors or other abnormal tissue
* Cancer of the vulva, vagina, cervix, or uterine lining
* Radiation therapy necessitized by said tumors

TREATMENT:

For a normal discharge, occasional douching with water may reduce the amount. However, a discharge caused by vaginitis requires specific treatment according to its cause. If the cause is an infection, treatment consists of an antibiotic, antifungal, or antiviral drug, depending on the infective organism. Until the infection has been cured, a premeasured vinegar and water douche can be used briefly to control symptoms. However, douching frequently and using medicated douches are discouraged because they increase the risk of pelvic inflammatory disease. If the labia (folds of skin skin around the vaginal and urethral openings) are stuck together because of previous infections, applying a vaginal estrogen cream for 7 to 10 days usually opens them.

In addition to an antibiotic, treatment of a bacterial infection may include propionic acid jelly to make the vaginal secretions more acidic - which discourages bacterial growth. For sexually transmitted infections, both sex partners are treated at the same time to prevent reinfection.

Thinning of the vaginal lining after menopause (atrophic vaginitis) is treated with estrogen replacement therapy. Estrogen can be given by mouth or through a skin patch or applied as a cream directly to the vulva and vagina.

The drugs used to treat vulvitis depend on its cause and are the same as those used to treat vaginitis. Additional measures include wearing loose, absorbent clothing that allows air to circulate, such as cotton or cotton-lined underpants, and keeping the vulva clean. Glycerine soap should be used because many other soaps can irritate the area. Occasionally, placing ice packs against the vulva, sitting in a cool sitz bath, or applying cool compresses may reduse soreness and itching. Corticosteroid creams or ointments, such as those containing hydrocortisone, and antihistamines taken by mouth may also reduce itching that's not caused by an infection. Acyclovir applied as a cream or taken by mouth may reduce symptoms and shorten the course of a herpes infection. Analgesics taken by mouth may help reduce pain.

If chronic vulvitis is caused by poor personal hygiene, instruction in proper hygiene is the first step. A bacterial infection in the area is treated with antibiotics. Skin conditions such as psoriasis may be treated with corticosteroid creams. Substances that may be causing persistent irritation, such as creams, powders, and some brands of condoms, should not be used.

COMMON TREATMENTS FOR VAGINAL and VULVAR INFECTIONS
Candidal (yeast): Miconazole, clotrimazole, butoconazole, or terconazole (as a cream, vaginal tablets, or suppositories); fluconazole or ketoconazole (by mouth)
Bacterial: Usually, metronidazole or clindamycin (as a vaginal cream) or metronidazole (by mouth); if due to gonococcus, usually ceftriaxone (by intramuscular injection) plus doxycycline (by mouth)
Chlamydial: Doxycycline or azithromycin (by mouth)
Trichomonal: Metronidazole (by mouth)
Viral:
Human papillomavirus: Trichloroacetic acid (directly on the warts); liquid nitrogen or fluorouracil (directly on the warts) for severe infections
Herpesvirus: Acyclovir (by mouth or as an ointment)

 

[Homeless J]

DIAGNOSIS:

The characteristics of the discharge may suggest its cause to a doctor, but additional information is needed to make the diagnosis - such as when in the menstrual cycle the discharge occurs, whether the discharge is sporadic or continuous, how it has responded to previous therapy, and whether the woman has vulvar itching, burning, or pain or a vaginal sore. The doctor may ask about birth control, pain after sexual intercourse, previous vaginal infections, sexually transmitted diseases, and the use of laundry detergents that may cause irritation. Questions may include whether the sex partner has symptoms or whether anyone else in the household has itching in the groin.

While examining the vagina, the doctor uses a cotton-tipped swab to take a sample of the discharge, which is examined under a microscope, grown in a laboratory (cultured), or both to identify the infective organism. The cervix is inspected, and a tissue sample is removed for a Papanicolaou (pap) test, which can detect cervical cancer. The doctor also performs a two-handed examination, inserting the index and middle fingers of one gloved hand into the vagina and gently pressing on the outside of the lower abdomen with the other hand to feel the reproductive organs between the hands. When a woman has a long-standing inflammation of the vulva (chronic vulvitis) that doesn't respond to treatment, the doctor usually removes a tissue sample for examination under a microscope (biopsy) to look for cancer cells.

 

[TaxMan]

Very.. educational. lol

 

[Ed Gein]

so thats what the smell is on my little cock

 

[Frederico]

ok dr. j, i got a question for ya... the HPV shit, i've been lookin shit up on that cause that milf i was bangin, well it turns out she's got that... I haven't been able to find anything about male symptoms or if guys can even catch the shit though, from what I read it's like a vagina-only disease... you got anything in that book of yours about whether or not my cock is gonna fall off eventually? haven't had any symptoms but then again i don't know what the symptoms would be for a guy, or if i can even catch it.

 

[Homeless J]

I already answered this question in private but I suppose it may be educational for others on here.

human papillomavirus is a spirochete, meaning a spirally DNA string that's in your blood. Syphilis is also a spirochete. So unlike herpes, which is spread specifically through skin-on-skin contact and can't be passed through blood/bodily fluid splicing, HPV is spread only through blood and bodily fluid splicing.

Men are a lot less likely to contract bodily fluid/blood splicing diseases purely because of the rate of bodily fluid exchange. A guy cums, which is largely blood-based, and a girl sometimes squirts but it's not a blood-based liquid, more like a thick, mucousy sweat. (attractive, no?) A guy basically has to cum raw in a HIV-infected girl's ass to get HIV, unless he already has a lowered immune system. same with HPV.

As far as the symptoms, they're a LOT worse in women. It makes them a lot more likely to get cervical cancer. I dunno if they're on where you're at, but there's a lot of commercials here for HPV vaccinations for women. It can make men more likely to get some kinds of cancer, but only a little more likely. It can also cause genital warts (known as HPV warts, which are different than herpe warts).

Women are a LOT more likely to get every kind of disease, and they're a lot more susceptible to the ill effects of said diseases, and if I was a religious man, I would say God did that for a reason because, in general, they deserve it, but I'm not, so I'll just laugh and point at you and your inferior immune system like Nelson Muntz. and then I'll ask you for your phone number. and a clean bill of health.

 

[Homeless J]

We need Big Rich back so he can share his wealth of personal experience with diseases such as herpes, the clap, and various unidentified urethral discharges of all colors of the rainbow.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, late luteal phase dysphoric disorder) is a condition in which a variety of symptoms, including nervousness, irritability, emotional upset, depression, headaches, tissue swelling, and breast tenderness, may occur during the 7 to 14 days before a menstrual period begins.

Premenstrual syndrome may be related to the fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone levels that occur during the menstrual cycle. Estrogen causes fluid retention, which probably explains the weight gain, tissue swelling, breast tenderness, and bloating. Other hormonal and metabolic changes may also be involved.

Symptoms

The type and intensity of symptoms vary from woman to woman and from month to month in the same woman. The broad range of physical and psychologic symptoms can temporarily upset a woman's life. Women who have epilepsy may have more seizures than usual. Women who have a connective tissue disease, such as systemic lupus erythematosus or rheumatoid arthritis, may have flare-ups at this time.

Usually, symptoms occur a week or two before the menstrual period, last from a few hours to about 14 days, and stop when the next period begins. Women close to menopause may have symptoms that persist through and after the menstrual period. The symptoms of premenstrual syndrome are often followed each month by a painful period.

Treatment

Taking combination oral contraceptives, which contain estrogen and progestin, helps reduce the fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone levels. Fluid retention and bloating are often relieved by reducing the intake of salt and taking a mild diuretic, such as spironolactone, just before symptoms are expected to begin. Other dietary changes - such as decreasing the amount of sugar, caffeine, and alcohol consumed; eating more carbohydrates; and having more frequent meals - may help. Dietary supplements containing calcium and magnesium may be beneficial. Taking vitamin B supplements, especially B6 (pyridoxine), may reduce some symptoms, although the benefits of vitamin B6 have recently been questioned, and a dose that's too high may be harmful (nerve damage has occurred with as little as 200 mgs a day). Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) may help relieve headaches, pain from uterine cramps, and joint aches.

Nervousness and agitation may be helped by exercise and stress reduction. Fluoxetine can reduce depression and other symptoms. Buspirone or alprazolam, taken for a short period, may reduce irritability and nervousness and help reduce stress, but drug dependency is a risk of treatment with alprazolam. A woman may be asked to recod her symptoms in a diary to help the doctor judge the effectiveness of treatment.

SYMPTOMS OF PMS

Physical changes
* Backache
* Bloating
* Breast fullness and pain
* Changes in appetite
* Constipation
* Dizziness
* Fainting
* Headaches
* Heaviness or pressure in the pelvic area
* Hot flashes
* Insomnia
* Lack of energy
* Nausea and vomiting
* Severe fatigue
* Skin problems, such as acne and localized scratch dematitis
* Tissue swelling or joint pain
* Weight gain

Mood Changes
* Agitation
* Anger
* Depression
* Irritability
* Mood swings
* Nervousness

Mental Changes
* Confusion
* Difficulty in concentrating
* Memory loss or forgetfulness

 

[Spooky 1987]

Today at 11:45 AM. Reason: oops, I forgot it's not gangster to know basic HTML

 

[Homeless J]

MENSTRUAL DISORDERS

(Problem: Medical Term)

A variety of physical and psychological symptoms occur before the start of a period: Premenstrual syndrome (PMS)

Periods are painful: Dysmenorrhea

Periods are absent: Amenorrhea

Periods never start: Primary amenorrhea

Periods cease to occur: Secondary amenorrhea

Periods are too long and too heavy: Menorrhagia

Periods are unusually light: Hypomenorrhea

Periods are too frequent: Polymenorrhea

Periods are too infrequent: Oligomenorrhea

Bleeding occurs between periods but is unrelated to periods: Metrorrhagia

Bleeding is heavy and totally irregular in frequency and duration: Menometrorrhagia

Bleeding occurs after menopause: Postmenopausal bleeding

 

[Homeless J]

@ spook dogg

I guess it's not gangster to be well-versed in problems relating to the vagina, either, but if it was, a lot less gangsters would have their dicks fall off from being burnt so often, and there's nothing less gangster than not having a dick.

HOMELESS J: INFORMING INTERNET-INITIATED GANGSTERS ON WHAT SHOULDN'T DRIP FROM A SNATCH.