Shit is too funny
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2733976
HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. -- A man walking down the street at bar-closing time with a $190 cake in his arms claimed Los Angeles Lakers center Kwame Brown swiped his birthday treat.
But authorities said the cake caper won't be prosecuted.
In a police report, Alexander Martinez said he left his 30th birthday celebration at the Shore Restaurant and Lounge at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday with the uneaten 2-by-2-foot cake and walked north toward the Blue 32 nightclub.
Martinez told police he first came upon Lakers forward Ronny Turiaf, who he said agreed to pose for a photograph with him and the chocolate cake.
But outside of Blue 32, the 6-foot-11, 270-pound Brown came along, grabbed the cake and threw it at Martinez, according to the report. Brown got into a white limousine and left, Martinez claimed in the report, although he didn't suggest any reason for the cake toss.
Martinez reported that he then walked up to Lamar Odom as the Lakers forward left Pedone's Pizza and confronted him about the cake, which was splattered on the birthday man's back.
A man believed to be Odom's bodyguard pushed Martinez into the street, yelling at him to get away from Odom, the police report said.
"Calm down, he didn't do anything," Odom told the man believed to be his bodyguard, the report said.
Everyone then went their separate ways and Martinez filed a police report 12 hours later.
Detectives presented a possible "grand theft of a person" case to the city attorney's office, which decided not to prosecute.
Brown wasn't talking, but Lakers spokesman John Black said the team was aware of the alleged incident and had been told prosecutors were not filing charges. Black had no other comment.
The Lakers are on a three-game road trip through Saturday.
Brown, averaging 8.7 points and 6.6 rebounds, has been sidelined since spraining his right ankle on Dec. 31. He is expected back in about two weeks.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2733976
HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. -- A man walking down the street at bar-closing time with a $190 cake in his arms claimed Los Angeles Lakers center Kwame Brown swiped his birthday treat.
But authorities said the cake caper won't be prosecuted.
In a police report, Alexander Martinez said he left his 30th birthday celebration at the Shore Restaurant and Lounge at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday with the uneaten 2-by-2-foot cake and walked north toward the Blue 32 nightclub.
Martinez told police he first came upon Lakers forward Ronny Turiaf, who he said agreed to pose for a photograph with him and the chocolate cake.
But outside of Blue 32, the 6-foot-11, 270-pound Brown came along, grabbed the cake and threw it at Martinez, according to the report. Brown got into a white limousine and left, Martinez claimed in the report, although he didn't suggest any reason for the cake toss.
Martinez reported that he then walked up to Lamar Odom as the Lakers forward left Pedone's Pizza and confronted him about the cake, which was splattered on the birthday man's back.
A man believed to be Odom's bodyguard pushed Martinez into the street, yelling at him to get away from Odom, the police report said.
"Calm down, he didn't do anything," Odom told the man believed to be his bodyguard, the report said.
Everyone then went their separate ways and Martinez filed a police report 12 hours later.
Detectives presented a possible "grand theft of a person" case to the city attorney's office, which decided not to prosecute.
Brown wasn't talking, but Lakers spokesman John Black said the team was aware of the alleged incident and had been told prosecutors were not filing charges. Black had no other comment.
The Lakers are on a three-game road trip through Saturday.
Brown, averaging 8.7 points and 6.6 rebounds, has been sidelined since spraining his right ankle on Dec. 31. He is expected back in about two weeks.