What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man have a hole in his penis?
To get some air to his brain.
----------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
----------------------------------------------------------
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
----------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
From the snoring.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
---------------------------------------------------------
What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You push it aside and keep on eating!
----------------------------------------------------------
How did the tugboat get AIDs?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
----------------------------------------------------------
What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends...
----------------------------------------------------------
Define "Egghead:"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
----------------------------------------------------------
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
---------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
----------------------------------------------------------
What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
"Nice Dick!"
----------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of eternity?
4 blondes at a 4-way stop intersection.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mom's have Mother's Day,
Dad's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as substitute meat.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going!
----------------------------------------------------------
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!
---------------------------------------------------------
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
----------------------------------------------------------
What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
----------------------------------------------------------
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man have a hole in his penis?
To get some air to his brain.
----------------------------------------------------------
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
----------------------------------------------------------
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
----------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
From the snoring.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
---------------------------------------------------------
What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
You push it aside and keep on eating!
----------------------------------------------------------
How did the tugboat get AIDs?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
----------------------------------------------------------
What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends...
----------------------------------------------------------
Define "Egghead:"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
----------------------------------------------------------
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
---------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
----------------------------------------------------------
What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
"Nice Dick!"
----------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of eternity?
4 blondes at a 4-way stop intersection.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mom's have Mother's Day,
Dad's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as substitute meat.
----------------------------------------------------------
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
----------------------------------------------------------
What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, only one's coming and one's going!
----------------------------------------------------------
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!
---------------------------------------------------------
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
----------------------------------------------------------
What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
----------------------------------------------------------
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.