I HOPE YALL FEEL THIS...

[Legman]

SPEECH IMPEDIMENTS, FROM SEDATIVES THESE DRUGS GOT COMMUNITYS FUCKED//WHILE POOR HUNGRY FAMILYS WORK DEAD END JOBS FOR A BUCK//PUSHIN MILL TO THE GRAIN,MY BRAINS TRAPPED IN A FRAME//SO I REFRAIN FROM THIS SANITY, NOW IM FAR FROM SANE//I ONLY SPEAK ON WHAT IVE SEEN WIT BOTH MY OWN EYES//CRYS FROM A KID,THE LIFE HE WANTS HE'LL NEVER LIVE//HE WILL NEVER REALIZE SHIT FROM THE LIFE HES LIVIN IN//RAISED BY HOODLUMS SO HE THINKS ITS OK FOR HIM TO SIN//SITTIN BACK DRINKIN GIN,MIXIN COKE AND HEN//HE AINT GIVIN A FUCK BOUT SHIT, HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE PEN//ANOTHER LOST YOUTH TOO THE COLD WORLD,AINT IT SAD?//AND THE GOVERMENT EXPECTS MINORITIES LIKE US TO BE GLAD?//SO IF YOU LISTENIN AND FEELIN THIS, WE BOTH ON THE SAME SHIP//CUZ WHERE IM FROM WE ALL DONE BEEN THRU THIS BULLSHIT//I CANT SIT HERE AND START LYIN BOUT "MY LIFE IS THRIVIN"//CUZ WHAT IM DOIN HERE IS DESCRIBIN THE LIFE THAT IM IN//

I REALLY HOPE YALL FEEL THIS...IT WAS A SPUR OF THE MOMENT TYPE THING...I ACTUALLY WANNA RECORD THIS...I JUSS WANTED 2 GET AN OPINION FROM YOU GUYS...AND THOUGHT YOU GUYS MIGHT LIKE 2 READ IT...THANX FOR PEEPIN

 

[miggidy]

This is a perfect example of how you can take simple rhymes and make the best out of them with what you put in between.

There's a few "over used" rhymes in there though. Not a big deal but personally, I would reframe from using them just to be unique.

 

[theYOCarea]

yeah it was cool I was feelin it

 

[SFxRyda]

Yea dat soundz coo, u should record it.

 

[RIX]

SPEECH IMPEDIMENTS, FROM SEDATIVES THESE DRUGS GOT COMMUNITYS FUCKED//WHILE POOR HUNGRY FAMILYS WORK DEAD END JOBS FOR A BUCK//PUSHIN MILL TO THE GRAIN,MY BRAINS TRAPPED IN A FRAME//SO I REFRAIN FROM THIS SANITY, NOW IM FAR FROM SANE//I

im feelin that part to tha max, i read it like 4 time... tha sedatives part.... feeling it... hit me up on aim man... we can shoot sum rhymes....

 

[Legman]

THANX HOMIE...IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT...I WROTE THAT SHIT AT 6 AM...I HAD JUSS FOUND OUT MY BOY OD ON COKE AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL...HES DOIN GOOD NOW THO

 

[CHRISHOGGALYPSE]

thought it was aiight, not great, not bad. stay at it, you're young, you can only get better aye

 

[aveblck'sfinest]

IT'S COO . JUS KEEP UR HEAD UP N DONT LET NO 1 GET U DOWN N YOU'LL ACHIVE WHAT U STRIVIN 4