i got a J J JOKE for yall

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up2nogood

up2nogood

Sicc OG
#1
Oct 16, 2002
5,543
605
113
Gilroy
#1
heres a joke for yall
hopefully yall aint heard it before cuz it was new to me and had me crack'n for a min.........

A pirate walks into a bar with his dick stuck through the boat's steering wheel centre cap. So the bar tender says "hey long john, you know you got a steering wheel on your cock?" And the pirate replied, "Arrr I know, it drives me nuts!"
 
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P-Nut

Sicc OG
#4
Sep 23, 2002
8,128
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#4
Up2nOgOoD said:
n oh yea post some jokes that you think are funny n noones heard before....
-out
Click to expand...

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
 
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P-Nut

Sicc OG
#6
Sep 23, 2002
8,128
6
0
44
#6
Up2nOgOoD said:
post some jokes that you think are funny n noones heard before....
Click to expand...

a playboy centerfold model went to a doctor and asked for a check-up. The doctor took our his thermometer to take her temperature.

"Now, say ahh."

The girl replied, "uh,not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow it."

"Okay,let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested.

"Well, it might tickle me, Doc." How about my butt?" the model suggested.

"So be it. Lay on your stomach."

Later, the model while giggling said, "that's not my butt, Doc!"

The doctor replied, "That's okay dear, what you feels not a thermometer either."
 
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P-Nut

Sicc OG
#8
Sep 23, 2002
8,128
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44
#8
The Fairytale

one day in the magic forest a fairy was flying. This forest was so big that the fairy had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The fairy called for the two to stop.

The fairy said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."

The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear's 2nd turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.
For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, prepared to take off, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."



the fairy :
 
up2nogood

up2nogood

Sicc OG
#14
Oct 16, 2002
5,543
605
113
Gilroy
#14
LOLLLL that doctor joke was funny tho

heres another one i found on some other forum.....

Two guys were fishing on a boat, and one of them wanted to have a smoke and pulled out his 12" long lighter. So the other guy says, "Wow! Hoe the hell did you get a lighter that big?" So the guy with the lighter says that he made a wish to his personal genie. The other guy then asks if he could use the genie and make a wish, and the guy said yes and summoned his genie. The other guy whispered his wish into the genies ear, so then the clouds darkened and said "Your wish has been granted." and disapeared. The sky then was flodded with 100 million ducks. Then the other guy said "WTF I wished for 100 million bucks!" So the guy said "Oh yeah I almost forgot, my genie has bad hearing. What? You think I actually wanted a 12" Bic?"
 
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