have you ever wondered????

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caff

Sicc OG
May 10, 2002
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#1
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on..........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 
Dec 8, 2005
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#3
this shit cracks me up


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

probably after he realized his kids suck on their mamas titties, and little cows suck on their mamas tities

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

a hungry man

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

frozen bread, or eggos

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

youre poor and your freezer isnt ballin like mine is

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

i agree, jimmys a faggot

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

no

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

then the show would be over

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

we dont want the other person to look at their own crotch, we want to know where a bathroom is

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

n/a

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

he is a pet dog

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

yes

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

same reason people dont go fishing at their local grocery store


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

testing

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

aborted fetuses

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

no

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

north korea

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

children are stupid

Stop singing and read on..........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


no

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

this is funny

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

not until just now

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

absolutely not.

ockhams razor = less complex answer should be embraced
 
Feb 11, 2006
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#4
Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?

Can someone give up lent for lent?

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?

If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?

If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?

Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?

Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
 
Aug 8, 2003
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#13
nhojsmith said:
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

no
yes it can.. ive transported corpse's for nearly 7 months and was told that i could use the carpool lane. i thought they were joking too but its true..
 
Aug 8, 2003
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#14
hehe i tried to answer the ones i kno..

Tha Sinner said:
Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?
poultry are normally timid [/quote]
Tha Sinner said:
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
cuz square boxes can be flattend before use to save space
Tha Sinner said:
What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
wheat biscuts?
Tha Sinner said:
How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
bucks can be dangerous when alive..
Tha Sinner said:
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
no.. your stuck with the clothes u die in :cheeky:
Tha Sinner said:
Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
not enough oxidizing
Tha Sinner said:
Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
to make sure they arent bout to lie in there own shit?
Tha Sinner said:
Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
because its funner to plan something that lasts for a few hours with many people then it is to stay in something with only one person for the rest of your life..
Tha Sinner said:
Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?
because its based on body mass
Tha Sinner said:
If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?
so there wheel chairs arent blocking the other stalls..
Tha Sinner said:
If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?
no.. niether do police.. ironic when u have to later report stolen property of yours because a burglar walked in thru the front missing the door and then have to talk to the same cop that busted it down..
Tha Sinner said:
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
because theres no room on your keyboard or ,mouse for an eraser
Tha Sinner said:
Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?
to match the christmas tree?
Tha Sinner said:
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
laziness..
 
Nov 27, 2002
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#17
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Cause maybe a humans breath is worse then a dogs and when a dog sticks his head out the window of a moving car he can smell 1'000 or more smells at once.