It's not english spelling, it's French. And regardless of how "retarded" a word might be spelled, that's the way it's spelled. C-L-I-Q-U-E.... Not that difficult. I know how to spell it, so it can't be too "retarded".
And what people mean by "click" is
1 a : a slight sharp noise b : a speech sound in some languages made by enclosing air between two stop articulations of the tongue, enlarging the enclosure to rarefy the air, and suddenly opening the enclosure
Either that or they mean "I'm a fuckin' moron".
Colonel - Etymology: alteration of coronel, from Middle French, modification of Old Italian colonnello column of soldiers
It's French, not English.
greenwich - A proper name. I doubt your last name makes much sense and if it does I would bet that there's a few people you know out there that have odd last names. I'm one of them.