Well, when you jack-off as much as I do, it's bound to happen sooner than later...
This afternoon I get done with my job early so I rush home to my roommate's laptop to check the email, check the Siccheads, and check out some free mpegs of chicks getting their faces splooged on.
The first two objectives accomplished, I promptly headed for Deep's home page where one can find a bevy of free porn neatly categorized by whatever poison you particularly fancy, whether it be ass, tits, midgets, or my crack cocaine...those twenty second movie clips. I'm no rookie so I know that the ones listed with 3, 4, or 5 movies are the goodies! They either have the clarity a discerning perv yearns for, or even better, a loop that replays the movie without my clicking anything repetively, thus freeing my other hand for scrotal massage.
An hour later I found the perfect mpeg! A dirty little vixen lying directly in front of the camera, smiling as she strokes some dudes crank. It was especially money because the dude isn't visible at all besides his snausage, he musta put the cam corder on his gut because I was easily able to pretend his hog was mine due to the clever cinematography. (Quick shout out and RACKS to my man philthy phil! nice camerawork brah!)
So this one doesn't loop so I have to click on the screen to replay the clip every 7 to 8 seconds which is not a problem usually but, when you've got to manage your strokin rhythm, lotion absortion, front door sounds, AND the loop clicking...it can be demanding. Again, I'm no rookie so I'm cruising right along when damn if I don't hear some shit coming up the stairs!
If I hadn't spent that crucial 2 seconds frozen to determine if it was the cat or not, this story would have a much better ending...
The door opened and there was my 325 lb. female roommate. I didn't actually see her 'cause I continued to face the screen in attempts to block her view of the looping handjob. She didn't see that, but she DID notice that my drawz and jeans were gathered around my nike's. To which she responded with a long and slow "OOOooKaaayyy.... as she backed out of the room.
I resumed breathing and yelled after her, "It's not what you think!!"
She just lumbered back downstairs to whatever edible she had previously been dealing with. I went ahead and finished figuring I had earned this one and now I'm going to go get a Big Mac or something.
-late.
Rack me.
This afternoon I get done with my job early so I rush home to my roommate's laptop to check the email, check the Siccheads, and check out some free mpegs of chicks getting their faces splooged on.
The first two objectives accomplished, I promptly headed for Deep's home page where one can find a bevy of free porn neatly categorized by whatever poison you particularly fancy, whether it be ass, tits, midgets, or my crack cocaine...those twenty second movie clips. I'm no rookie so I know that the ones listed with 3, 4, or 5 movies are the goodies! They either have the clarity a discerning perv yearns for, or even better, a loop that replays the movie without my clicking anything repetively, thus freeing my other hand for scrotal massage.
An hour later I found the perfect mpeg! A dirty little vixen lying directly in front of the camera, smiling as she strokes some dudes crank. It was especially money because the dude isn't visible at all besides his snausage, he musta put the cam corder on his gut because I was easily able to pretend his hog was mine due to the clever cinematography. (Quick shout out and RACKS to my man philthy phil! nice camerawork brah!)
So this one doesn't loop so I have to click on the screen to replay the clip every 7 to 8 seconds which is not a problem usually but, when you've got to manage your strokin rhythm, lotion absortion, front door sounds, AND the loop clicking...it can be demanding. Again, I'm no rookie so I'm cruising right along when damn if I don't hear some shit coming up the stairs!
If I hadn't spent that crucial 2 seconds frozen to determine if it was the cat or not, this story would have a much better ending...
The door opened and there was my 325 lb. female roommate. I didn't actually see her 'cause I continued to face the screen in attempts to block her view of the looping handjob. She didn't see that, but she DID notice that my drawz and jeans were gathered around my nike's. To which she responded with a long and slow "OOOooKaaayyy.... as she backed out of the room.
I resumed breathing and yelled after her, "It's not what you think!!"
She just lumbered back downstairs to whatever edible she had previously been dealing with. I went ahead and finished figuring I had earned this one and now I'm going to go get a Big Mac or something.
-late.
Rack me.
