Jehovah's witnesses can be terribly bothersome. Especially when you're in the middle of an important task, like masturbating, or feeding your dead to the pigs locked in the basement (believe me, its the best way to dispose of evidence). But, just because these fundamentalist assholes are annoying as shit, doesnt mean you can't have loads of fun with them. There are many fun ways to answer the door that will not only freak these douches out, but will also give you and your friends a great laugh.
For starters, you may want to just talk to them.... Ace Ventura style. Carry out the entire conversation, bent over and talking out of your backside. If you're lucky, you may get them to chat with you for 5 to 10 minutes. Throwing in ass jokes is always a plus when pulling this gag. If there's one thing Jehovah's witnesses cant stand, its an asshole-to-asshole chat.
Another great way to answer the door, and my personal favorite way to alienate these people is with an anal penetration gag. Answer the door in nothing but your underwear, with a bottle of KY in one hand, and a cucumber in the other, and simply say to the nice people "Hey. I bet you 20 bucks it fits." I'm sure theyll leave your property in full sprint, dropping all of their panphlets. After all, God hates gays.
Like many religions, Jehovah's Witnesses are also very intolerant to other religions. Try opening the door wearing a turban or a veil. It may also help to point an AK-47 at them while in costume. This one may not be the best way to go though, especially after September 11th. Your entire neighborhood may burn your house down when they learn about it.
And lastly, Jehovah's Witnesses hate sinners. So, for the bold and daring people willing to do anything for a good scare, andwer your door wearing absolutely nothing. And start jerking off like mad, while screaming "Youre my sister! You're my sister!" Or, "Take it all, God! You take it all, you filthy whore!" I guarantee you'll never see those right-wing douches ever again.
Now, some of these may seem a tad bit extreme. But remember, the sky is the limit when it comes to scaring the righteous. Use your own imagination in coming up with ways to alienate these fine people. After all, they deserve it. Theyre the ones who disturbed you from naked hot butter on the extremities time.
For starters, you may want to just talk to them.... Ace Ventura style. Carry out the entire conversation, bent over and talking out of your backside. If you're lucky, you may get them to chat with you for 5 to 10 minutes. Throwing in ass jokes is always a plus when pulling this gag. If there's one thing Jehovah's witnesses cant stand, its an asshole-to-asshole chat.
Another great way to answer the door, and my personal favorite way to alienate these people is with an anal penetration gag. Answer the door in nothing but your underwear, with a bottle of KY in one hand, and a cucumber in the other, and simply say to the nice people "Hey. I bet you 20 bucks it fits." I'm sure theyll leave your property in full sprint, dropping all of their panphlets. After all, God hates gays.
Like many religions, Jehovah's Witnesses are also very intolerant to other religions. Try opening the door wearing a turban or a veil. It may also help to point an AK-47 at them while in costume. This one may not be the best way to go though, especially after September 11th. Your entire neighborhood may burn your house down when they learn about it.
And lastly, Jehovah's Witnesses hate sinners. So, for the bold and daring people willing to do anything for a good scare, andwer your door wearing absolutely nothing. And start jerking off like mad, while screaming "Youre my sister! You're my sister!" Or, "Take it all, God! You take it all, you filthy whore!" I guarantee you'll never see those right-wing douches ever again.
Now, some of these may seem a tad bit extreme. But remember, the sky is the limit when it comes to scaring the righteous. Use your own imagination in coming up with ways to alienate these fine people. After all, they deserve it. Theyre the ones who disturbed you from naked hot butter on the extremities time.
