From: Lola
To: Tom
Subject: Can you help me?
Tom I'm having trouble opening a file on my computer could you please come help me?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Lola
Subject: Delivery Failure Notification
We're sorry, but the e-mail address you're trying to reach is inactive. Please check the address and try again.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: FWD: Something is wrong with Toms email.
Is there a reason Lola sent me this e-mail?
"Brain I emailed Tom to see if he could help me and it said his email address is inactive what is wrong with it? I need help with my computer and I can't get a hold of him."
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: ???
I know nothing.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ???
I know nothing makes you happier than confusing an old woman, but for God's sake go help her so she stops bugging me.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Zoe
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: PAPER PLEASE
T: Sorry to be a pest but we need paper over here on the south side. Thanks!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Zoe
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Look, I'm not here to support your habits, ok? You can go to 7/11 and buy your papers, but leave me out of it.
I'm a good boy, I am.
--
From: Zoe
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Do you want anything from 7/11?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Zoe
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Yea, get me some papers.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: paperwork to NY
Please put the paperwork I dropped in your box in a orange envelope and send it to NY.
Thanks.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: paperwork to NY
Ok, green envelope to Detroit. No problem.
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: TOM!
Stop messing with me you weasel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: LINDA!
I'm sorry, the weasel is in Nevada. He left last Tuesday so he could marry that coyote he's been seeing for the last three months. Apparently her father's not to happy about it, not that I blame him. How would you feel if your only daughter married a weasel? If you want to get in touch with him, his e-mail is TedtheWeasel01.at.yahoo.com.
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LINDA!
?????????????
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Please help!!
Tom, I need to find the paperwork for account number #######, but I have no idea where it is! He'll be in here in half an hour and I need to have everything ready! Can you help me?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: Please help!!
**exaggerated sigh**
Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines. I'll be back in a second.
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Please help!!
How do you think I feel? It just so happens this was the week I was going to stop sniffing glue. Now come back here and help me look for these papers.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian (once again, he's the big boss)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: question:
I was told you were late yesterday while I was out... what happened?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: answer
I had car trouble.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
What was the problem?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
I got in it too late.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
I see. Don't be late again or I will physically harm you, and to make matters worse, while you're in the hospital recovering from the severe beating, I'll steal your wife and run off to Europe.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
You can have my wife, I have the gnomes to keep me company.
Just so you know, while you were gone yesterday, I'm answered the phone like this: "Bob's Country Bunker, Bob speaking."
The guy from compliance was not amused. Expect to hear from him ny the end of the week.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
That might actually make sense if your name was Bob.
--
From: Tom
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
HA HA, fool! My middle name is Robert.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FUN WITH REAL E-MAIL.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Fax
Tom, did that fax I brought down go thru yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: Subject: The Lord of the Fax, Part II: The Two Pages
In our last episode (LOTF, Part I - The Fellowship of the Fax), Linda the Blonde, a wise Sales Assistant, walked down to the cage of doom and attempted to send a fax. When the fax would not go, Linda received help from Barb-o the Old, and Thomas Sorodo, a young wire hobbit. After several tries, the fax still did not go through.
Linda, having quite a bit of work to do, had to retreat back to her desk, while Barb-o the Old made a trip to the bathroom, thus the fellowship was broken. The task now rests solely in the hands of Thomas Sorodo. It is his duty to see that the two pages of the fax make it safely to the good people on the other end.
Along the way, he will face many perils, including the ops manager, the fax machine itself, and the busy phone lines of the receivers.
The quest he has undertaken will be long and perilous, but he will prevail. The fate of Middle Building depends on it.
Coming soon: The Lord of the Fax, Part III: The Return of the Fax (...to Linda because it transmitted successfully.)
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Your crazy!! lol!!!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!1 Liek, I know111111111!
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u mispelled LIKE!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
OOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess that means I'm stupid, huh?
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
ya!!!!!!!! lol!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: scanning
Tom, did you scan in the documents I dropped off yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
For sooth, m'lady, I am but a mere squire and have yet to scan this fine morrow. However, me-thinks thou shalt havest thine documents scanned by the setting of the sun today. HUZZAH!!
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: scanning
... thank you
If I bring yuo some more thnigs to scan today, could you get it done?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
Make haste, else the scanning shall not get done this fine day and will sit in the scan box for a fortnight.
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: scanning
Are you high?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject:
Sadly, no.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian ----> The Big Boss (cool as hell)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Tom...
Why didn't you shave today?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
Because I'm sick of the gnomes...
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: Tom
What? Gnomes?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
The gnomes that live in the storage room. Every time I go back there, they bum rush me and pin me to the ground. Then each of them take turns rubbing my face and telling me how smooth it is. When I don't shave, they leave me alone.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Is that all they touch?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
That's between the gnomes and me.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Go home at lunch and shave.
Before you leave, bring me the key to the storage room. I need some supplies....
To: Tom
Subject: Can you help me?
Tom I'm having trouble opening a file on my computer could you please come help me?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Lola
Subject: Delivery Failure Notification
We're sorry, but the e-mail address you're trying to reach is inactive. Please check the address and try again.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: FWD: Something is wrong with Toms email.
Is there a reason Lola sent me this e-mail?
"Brain I emailed Tom to see if he could help me and it said his email address is inactive what is wrong with it? I need help with my computer and I can't get a hold of him."
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: ???
I know nothing.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ???
I know nothing makes you happier than confusing an old woman, but for God's sake go help her so she stops bugging me.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Zoe
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: PAPER PLEASE
T: Sorry to be a pest but we need paper over here on the south side. Thanks!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Zoe
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Look, I'm not here to support your habits, ok? You can go to 7/11 and buy your papers, but leave me out of it.
I'm a good boy, I am.
--
From: Zoe
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Do you want anything from 7/11?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Zoe
Subject: re: PAPER PLEASE
Yea, get me some papers.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: paperwork to NY
Please put the paperwork I dropped in your box in a orange envelope and send it to NY.
Thanks.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: paperwork to NY
Ok, green envelope to Detroit. No problem.
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: TOM!
Stop messing with me you weasel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: LINDA!
I'm sorry, the weasel is in Nevada. He left last Tuesday so he could marry that coyote he's been seeing for the last three months. Apparently her father's not to happy about it, not that I blame him. How would you feel if your only daughter married a weasel? If you want to get in touch with him, his e-mail is TedtheWeasel01.at.yahoo.com.
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LINDA!
?????????????
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Please help!!
Tom, I need to find the paperwork for account number #######, but I have no idea where it is! He'll be in here in half an hour and I need to have everything ready! Can you help me?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: Please help!!
**exaggerated sigh**
Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines. I'll be back in a second.
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Please help!!
How do you think I feel? It just so happens this was the week I was going to stop sniffing glue. Now come back here and help me look for these papers.
---------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian (once again, he's the big boss)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: question:
I was told you were late yesterday while I was out... what happened?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: answer
I had car trouble.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
What was the problem?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
I got in it too late.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
I see. Don't be late again or I will physically harm you, and to make matters worse, while you're in the hospital recovering from the severe beating, I'll steal your wife and run off to Europe.
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
You can have my wife, I have the gnomes to keep me company.
Just so you know, while you were gone yesterday, I'm answered the phone like this: "Bob's Country Bunker, Bob speaking."
The guy from compliance was not amused. Expect to hear from him ny the end of the week.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: answer
That might actually make sense if your name was Bob.
--
From: Tom
To: Brian
Subject: re: answer
HA HA, fool! My middle name is Robert.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FUN WITH REAL E-MAIL.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Fax
Tom, did that fax I brought down go thru yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: Subject: The Lord of the Fax, Part II: The Two Pages
In our last episode (LOTF, Part I - The Fellowship of the Fax), Linda the Blonde, a wise Sales Assistant, walked down to the cage of doom and attempted to send a fax. When the fax would not go, Linda received help from Barb-o the Old, and Thomas Sorodo, a young wire hobbit. After several tries, the fax still did not go through.
Linda, having quite a bit of work to do, had to retreat back to her desk, while Barb-o the Old made a trip to the bathroom, thus the fellowship was broken. The task now rests solely in the hands of Thomas Sorodo. It is his duty to see that the two pages of the fax make it safely to the good people on the other end.
Along the way, he will face many perils, including the ops manager, the fax machine itself, and the busy phone lines of the receivers.
The quest he has undertaken will be long and perilous, but he will prevail. The fate of Middle Building depends on it.
Coming soon: The Lord of the Fax, Part III: The Return of the Fax (...to Linda because it transmitted successfully.)
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Your crazy!! lol!!!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!1 Liek, I know111111111!
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u mispelled LIKE!!!!!!!!!
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Linda
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
OOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess that means I'm stupid, huh?
--
From: Linda
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
ya!!!!!!!! lol!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: scanning
Tom, did you scan in the documents I dropped off yet?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
For sooth, m'lady, I am but a mere squire and have yet to scan this fine morrow. However, me-thinks thou shalt havest thine documents scanned by the setting of the sun today. HUZZAH!!
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: scanning
... thank you
If I bring yuo some more thnigs to scan today, could you get it done?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject: re: scanning
Make haste, else the scanning shall not get done this fine day and will sit in the scan box for a fortnight.
--
From: Kelly
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: scanning
Are you high?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Kelly
Subject:
Sadly, no.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian ----> The Big Boss (cool as hell)
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Tom...
Why didn't you shave today?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
Because I'm sick of the gnomes...
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
subject: re: Tom
What? Gnomes?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
The gnomes that live in the storage room. Every time I go back there, they bum rush me and pin me to the ground. Then each of them take turns rubbing my face and telling me how smooth it is. When I don't shave, they leave me alone.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Is that all they touch?
--
From: Tom Sorrell
To: Brian
Subject: re: Tom
That's between the gnomes and me.
--
From: Brian
To: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Tom
Go home at lunch and shave.
Before you leave, bring me the key to the storage room. I need some supplies....
