On Saturday I went to the VanHalen concert here in Omaha. I am not a huge fan of the band but an older buddy of mine has been listening to them since they came out and wanted someone to go to the concert with him.
This was different from any concert I had ever been to but in some ways it was the same. There were the random chicks flashing the stage as is with all rock concerts but the difference is most of these ladies were not in they're mid 20's to early 30's as usual. No these ladies were in they're late 30's early 40's. It was just weird watching these people trying to recapture they're glorious 20's.
However that is not what I am posting about. No my friends I am posting about a different kind of human. You have all most likely seen them before. Be it at the county fair, a rock concert, redneck family reunions, etc.
Good people of Uber the creature I am talking about is the freaky looking woman who shows her equally freaky tits.
As I went out for a smoke during the concert there was a women in the smoking area most likely in her 50's. When I got a better look she had stringy blond hair that I think was falling out. She was about 5'4 and weighed no more than you're average crack addict. She also had some nice facial hair to complement her look.
What really freaked me out was that this broad had one eye that was larger than the other. Almost like a Popeye squint but without the squint. She just had one eye bigger than the other. I did not want to look but just like with the 850-pound guy going up to the buffet table I could not turn away.
Eventually I just went to the other side of the smoking area to keep myself from staring at the monstrosity. But as I look over my shoulder I saw her standing right next to me again.
Freak: You wanna see my titties?
Me: No thanks.
F: Let me show you my titties.
M: I really don't think that's such a great idea.
F: Here have a peek!
At that point see lifted up her shirt to show me the most disturbing breast I have ever seen. I was petrified with fear.
M: Sweet merciful Christ put those away!
F: You wanna suckem?
M: God no! I don't even want to have to look at them.
F: Why not?
M: Cause they are scary!
At this point security stepped in and asked the lady to come with them. As they dragged her away she slipped out of her shit that the guards were holding onto.
So now here is this scary topless woman running at me screaming. I looked over the ledge of the smoking deck. The fall could kill me but then again death might be better than what was about to happen to me.
Right before she pounced on me security jumped on her and smashed her face into the ground. As they took her she started yelling about her "weed" and "if anybody wanted to see her titties?" That was weird cause her shirt was already off.
I am told I screamed like a little girl when she started running at me.
Uber I can't help it. I mean she was really scary.
Good Times.
This was different from any concert I had ever been to but in some ways it was the same. There were the random chicks flashing the stage as is with all rock concerts but the difference is most of these ladies were not in they're mid 20's to early 30's as usual. No these ladies were in they're late 30's early 40's. It was just weird watching these people trying to recapture they're glorious 20's.
However that is not what I am posting about. No my friends I am posting about a different kind of human. You have all most likely seen them before. Be it at the county fair, a rock concert, redneck family reunions, etc.
Good people of Uber the creature I am talking about is the freaky looking woman who shows her equally freaky tits.
As I went out for a smoke during the concert there was a women in the smoking area most likely in her 50's. When I got a better look she had stringy blond hair that I think was falling out. She was about 5'4 and weighed no more than you're average crack addict. She also had some nice facial hair to complement her look.
What really freaked me out was that this broad had one eye that was larger than the other. Almost like a Popeye squint but without the squint. She just had one eye bigger than the other. I did not want to look but just like with the 850-pound guy going up to the buffet table I could not turn away.
Eventually I just went to the other side of the smoking area to keep myself from staring at the monstrosity. But as I look over my shoulder I saw her standing right next to me again.
Freak: You wanna see my titties?
Me: No thanks.
F: Let me show you my titties.
M: I really don't think that's such a great idea.
F: Here have a peek!
At that point see lifted up her shirt to show me the most disturbing breast I have ever seen. I was petrified with fear.
M: Sweet merciful Christ put those away!
F: You wanna suckem?
M: God no! I don't even want to have to look at them.
F: Why not?
M: Cause they are scary!
At this point security stepped in and asked the lady to come with them. As they dragged her away she slipped out of her shit that the guards were holding onto.
So now here is this scary topless woman running at me screaming. I looked over the ledge of the smoking deck. The fall could kill me but then again death might be better than what was about to happen to me.
Right before she pounced on me security jumped on her and smashed her face into the ground. As they took her she started yelling about her "weed" and "if anybody wanted to see her titties?" That was weird cause her shirt was already off.
I am told I screamed like a little girl when she started running at me.
Uber I can't help it. I mean she was really scary.
Good Times.
