FOR ALL THE ATHEISTS

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EDJ

EDJ

Sicc OG
#1
May 3, 2002
11,608
234
63
www.myspace.com
#1
ENJOY......
There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat.

As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He's scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"

Confused, and knowing he can't lie, the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"

The Lord replies, "As you wish." and the light retracts back into the heavens. The man feels the water move once again.

As the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man watches as the huge beast closes its eyes, bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive..."
 
2-0-Sixx

2-0-Sixx

Sicc OG
#6
May 13, 2002
49,944
47,801
113
44
Seattle
www.socialistworld.net
#6
Edward Thizzerhands said:
lol....nice...

But its true...people denounce "god" and then when in panic call upon him...contridiction at its finest...
Click to expand...
I never have.

Whats really funny is that I dont believe in god but every time I have sex with my girl she screams "oh my god!" And I just look at her and say "yes?"
 
2-0-Sixx

2-0-Sixx

Sicc OG
#9
May 13, 2002
49,944
47,801
113
44
Seattle
www.socialistworld.net
#9
^^It's just because it's a popular saying. Like when one sneezes and another says "bless you." They aren't really blessing them; it's just a common phrase that over the years has come to mean nothing.

I say "Jesus-Fucking-Christ" sometimes or "Jesus-Fuck" but I don't mean anything by it.
 
2

2-0-NINE

Sicc OG
#10
Mar 12, 2005
8,118
17
0
36
#10
2-0-Sixx said:
^^It's just because it's a popular saying. Like when one sneezes and another says "bless you." They aren't really blessing them; it's just a common phrase that over the years has come to mean nothing.
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I know it's a superstition.
 
2

2-0-NINE

Sicc OG
#14
Mar 12, 2005
8,118
17
0
36
#14
2-0-Sixx said:
^^It was a superstition, but not anymore- it’s a meaningless phrase today. No one actually believes their soul is escaping their bodies or that their catching The Plague.
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That's why I try to avoid saying BLess you when someone sneezes, because it is what it is, a dumb superstition. Like throwing Rice over your shoulder.
 
2-0-Sixx

2-0-Sixx

Sicc OG
#15
May 13, 2002
49,944
47,801
113
44
Seattle
www.socialistworld.net
#15
EDJ said:
^I HEARD IS CAUSE WHEN YOU SNEEZE, YOUR HEART SKIPS A BEAT OR STOPS OR SOMETHIN'.
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t began literally as a blessing. Pope Gregory I the Great (AD 540-604) ascended to the Papacy just in time for the start of the bubonic plague in AD 590 (his successor succumbed to it). To combat the plague, Gregory ordered litanies, processions and unceasing prayer for God's blessing. When someone sneezed (seen as the initial onset of the plague), they were immediately blessed ("God bless you!") in the hope that they would not actually develop the disease.

Other explanations are based on superstitions and urban legends about sneezing and what a sneeze entails.

* The heart stops when you sneeze (it doesn't), and the phrase bless you is meant to ensure the return of life or to encourage your heart to continue beating.

Wikipedia
 
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