The wolves have gathered, checked themselves in at the table and are properly credentialed and name-tagged to howl for the firing of Mike Nolan.
Which is great and all, given that is the perfect knee-jerk reaction to any sporting problem. It feels good, it satisfies the administrative bloodlust we all have, and it kills time between gin and tonics.
Only it's the second move that has everyone flum- moxed, namely, who is going to fire him?
And then there's the third move, which is, who should replace him?
Now this will not be a defense of Nolan or his regime. He has had 54 games to show far more progress than this, and winning every third game isn't close to cutting it. His players are starting to show the telltale signs of losing heart. They look disorganized, confused and directionless in every area, and, worst of all, this season is exactly what those snot-nosed media creeps foresaw for them when the season began.
But there's more. Nolan has not looked comfortable in his own skin since he got here, as though he spends too much time in his own head wondering how he looks while he's coaching. Stylistically as well as tactically, he was simply too twitchy to wield the power he had been given.
In other words, there is simply too little evidence to suggest that he has earned the right or even the blind optimism to keep the job. It might not be time this week, but the time is coming, and the 49ers are always good at seeing the time has come after it already has passed.
Here, though, is the problem everyone wants to avoid when the subject arises. Firing Nolan takes someone to do it, and, frankly, it's hard to see who would. Consider the candidates:
John York: The Guy Who Started It
He hired Nolan, he likes Nolan, he had a chance to fire Nolan as he stood in the soot of last season and chose instead to jerry-rig a system wherein Nolan's subordinate, Scot McCloughan, suddenly becomes his boss (yeah, right). Plus, York would have to appear in public to explain the firing, and he would rather hit himself in the face with a hammer than submit to that.
Jed York: The Boy King, Eventually, Maybe
Hasn't got the power to buck dad on this one, because firing the coach is entirely the purview of the boss, and he isn't the boss yet.
Denise York: She Who Still Must Be Obeyed
It is her team, after all, but she wants less to do with it than she does with a backed-up sewer outside the family's Youngstown manse.
Andy Dolich: The New Guy
Doesn't know enough about NFL football to offer an informed opinion (which also can be said of the Yorks pere et fils), hasn't been on the job long enough to volunteer, and is still spearheading (mmmppfffhhh) the Santa Clara (oh God, no, please don't) stadium plan (HAHAHAHAHA, STOPSTOP, YOU'REKILLINGUS!).
McCloughan: The Right Hand
Already compromised by his relationship with Nolan, and we're still not clear just how much higher in the organizational flow chart than Nolan he actually resides. Plus, his own record of talent acquisition leaves something (say, like wins) to be desired, so his position might not be so secure once the whackings begin.
Paraag Marathe: The Math Guy
The numbers stink, but this isn't a numbers thing. Besides, being in the coaches' booth on Sundays is probably closer than he ought to get to that end of the business.
And here is the next problem: determining the next Nolan.
One of the 49ers' greatest ownership failings has been its lack of connection to other NFL teams to get a sense of where the best talent can be found. After all, John York brought back Bill Walsh and immediately decided he needed a minder. That turned out to be Terry Donahue, whose incompetence-enriched regime helped set in motion that disaster you see before you. Then York canned Donahue and, because he wanted someone to be the franchise front man so he wouldn't have to be, he hired Nolan and gave him more power than any first-time head coach should have.
Oh, and don't give us Mike Martz as an alternative. He is a handy name as an interim guy, and that is all. He is not the future of the franchise, unless you think the franchise should have the same future as its present.
Truth is, there is no evidence to suggest that the Yorks would be any better at replacing Nolan than they were at replacing Donahue than they were at replacing Steve Mariucci. And when we say no evidence, what we mean is plenty of evidence to prove the opposite.
So sure, fire Nolan. Why not? He has it coming, he knew the job was dangerous when he took it, and the team has risen from utter unwatchability to painfully chaotic and borderline resigned. Coaches get fired for cause all the time when they are the cause of this.
Just remember that Nolan isn't the only cause. Remember the paralysis in January when it looked like Nolan would be fired but wasn't. Remember that those same conditions exist now, and that the next move will be made by the same people who will have made this move.
Firing Nolan will make you feel good for a couple of minutes, but you'll still have the same nausea, the headache, the limp and the backache by the time Nolan's car leaves the compound for the last time.