Eric Crouch article

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Grim

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Apr 25, 2002
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Heisman winner Eric Crouch was drafted by the Rams, then quit because he couldn't play quarterback. Here, in his own words, is how he feels about walking away

If you had told me what my year was going to be like after winning the Heisman, I would have said you were nuts.

Last December I figured that right now I'd be living the life of an NFL player. How am I actually living these days? Quietly, in Omaha, in the home of my future in-laws. Mornings I work out -- I run and recently I found some guys to throw with. Some afternoons I meet with a group of local businessmen who are helping me plan my future. I have plenty of free time to pick up my three-year-old daughter, Lexi, at preschool.

How do I feel about my life now? Good. I made the move because I wasn't being true to myself. Three months down the road, even though I've had to give back my $395,000 signing bonus and I only got paid two weeks on my $1.3 million contract, I'm O.K. with my decision.

I think the problems started because I wanted to play pro ball a little too much. After graduating from Nebraska, I talked to NFL teams, and they would ask, "Eric, do you have a strong commitment to play quarterback?" "Of course," I would tell them. But the next question would be, "Are you willing to play wide receiver? Or defensive back? Or running back?" "Yes," I said. I told them I'd do anything they asked. Anything. I told 25 coaches the same thing, and that was my mistake. I should have said, "I'm a quarterback, and that's it." I got so caught up in the excitement. All I wanted was to get the highest draft position possible.

I went to the NFL combine in February and worked out as a receiver and a running back. I also threw with the quarterbacks. The Rams drafted me in the third round as a wide receiver. I believe I would have gotten drafted as a quarterback, but maybe not until after the third round.

I spent two weeks with the Rams. At first it felt like a great experience, but I quickly realized I had no passion for catching footballs. For the first time, football wasn't fun. It wasn't any one thing or one day. I tried to give it a chance, but nothing changed. Finally I went to coach Mike Martz and told him I had to quit. It was a tough conversation. He was disappointed. He told me to make sure that I wasn't doing something I'd regret for the rest of my life. But he understood what I was saying, and I respect him for that. I never asked to play quarterback. I knew that card wasn't on the table.

When I told my fiancée, Nicole Kousgaard, about my decision, she was a little surprised. No, she was a lot surprised. But she's been super. She wants me to be happy. The money wasn't an issue. I have to feel right about myself, and I didn't. I had gone against everything I believed in. I had not followed my heart.

I don't know what will happen now. We had bought a house in St. Louis, but we're selling it. I have endorsement opportunities that I might pursue, and I have a degree in exercise science that might lead to a job in athletic training.

Do I want to play again? I do a lot of thinking about it. I love the game, and I miss it -- last Sunday I went to the 49ers-Cowboys game in Dallas with some friends. I've also heard that the Rams are down to their third quarterback. Still, I'd say it's 50-50 whether I play again. The Rams own my rights, so even if I want to consider an opportunity, it's up to them to decide whether to let me take it. One thing I do know for sure is that if I play again, it'll be at quarterback.




shit is crazy to me....to give up that much money.....shit I would of just sat on the bench for a few years first then quit so you at least made some money