DUCK AND COVER, UNCLE SAM IS HELPING US OUT

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M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#1
Nov 16, 2002
104
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#1
The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The funny thing is these pictures are so wack looking they could mean anything...Here are a few interpretations.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.


If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#2
Nov 16, 2002
104
0
0
#2
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.


Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#3
Nov 16, 2002
104
0
0
#3
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal trying to sell veils and t-shirts, its a trick! No matter how fashionable they might look, run the fuck away!.


Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, lookout for people who rub their hands together alot. This cant be good.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#4
Nov 16, 2002
104
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0
#4
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.


If your building collapses, suck your own dick while waiting to be rescued.


Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#5
Nov 16, 2002
104
0
0
#5
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.


If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#6
Nov 16, 2002
104
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0
#6
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms out and pretend youre not listening until they stop.


If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.


One way to convince terrorists you arent a good civilian target is to pretend youre looking for a contact lens. If that doesnt work, try to roll into the terrorists like Sonic the Hedgehog to stop their attack.
 
M

mosthated

Sicc OG
#7
Nov 16, 2002
104
0
0
#7
Don't drive your station wagon if a power pole is stuck to the hood


Red, orange, and green is a lethal combination of gases. If you inhale these together, just choke yourself.
 
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