Drunk Stories

  • Wanna Join? New users you can now register lightning fast using your Facebook or Twitter accounts.
May 3, 2002
1,015
2
38
#1
I know most of you have drunk stories to tell, so tell 'em so I could have a good laugh.

A good family friend distributes tortillas for Mission Foods. Last Saturday (12/21), him, myself, my sister, and a cousin were having shots of Casadores tequila. We ran out of tequila but weren't going to buy any more since we had to go to sleep early for work the next day, but we decided to go to a store anyway. The store was closed so we went to one of the nearest stores the family friend distributes tortillas to. When we got there, he walked to his tortilla section (my cousin, sister, and I followed) and he grabbed a stick he uses to push the tortillas back. As he used the stick to push the tortillas back, a store worker who was filling up the empty shelves passes by, covers himself up and says, "Watch out with that stick! Don't hit me!" So we all laugh, seeing that the stick was nowhere near hitting him. Moments later, the worker rushes to the back, picks up the phone, and calls security to the aisle we were in. The security guard shows up, asks what the family friend is doing with the tortillas, and my sister, cousin and I leave to not complicate things. As we walk away, the worker tells the guard that the family friend picked up the stick and tried to hit him, so I'm feeling a little drunk and tell him that he's lying (as I walk away.) Then the guy turns his switch to "mad" mode and says, "What the fuck are you saying?!" Seeing his actions, I put out my arms and say, "What, bitch?! You wanna fuck each other up?" He draws his attention back to the guard and the family friend... I keep talking shit. My cousin tells me to calm down because we were drunk, so I calm down. The three of us wait near the exit and the family friend is still trying to be heard but they weren't hearing him. Then the manager shows up, so we go to the scene to make sure they heard our story. The manager says we need permission in advance to do such a thing (the family friend never asked for permission before), so we say he's never done this but she insists that it's a "rule." We tell the family friend, who's still trying to be heard, to leave with us before things got bigger and he begins to walk out with us. As we walk out, being escorted by the guard and manager, my sister tells the manager that the worker had an attitude and the manager says, "Well, you have an attitude, too. He's one of my workers, so he has more rights in this store than you." My cousin and I tell my sister not to say shit because we didn't need a girl fight to make things bigger.
I'm a peaceful guy, so I'll feel embarassed next time I see the worker. Hopefully he won't make me go 51/50 on his ass.

One of my friends gets a lil' crazy when he drinks. Like two years ago (when I still acted ignorant as fuck), him, myself, and a cousin are driving around drinking (no crazy driving, just "normal") when my friend gets the idea of taking out his pepper spray. We thought it would be funny to spray somebody, so we look for a victim. As we're waiting on a red light, a Caucasian guy looks at us like he's unstoppable - BOOM! - our victim! We say, "Ey,!" my friend puts his spray up but forgets to take the lock out - the guy keeps walking after looking at us like we're crazy. I make a right, to where the guy was walking. We get to another red light and as we're waiting, I see the guy running up on us through my rearview mirror and try to tell my friend, but my friend's not paying attetion. The guy sticks his hand through the window (window was down), mimmicks a gun pointed towards my friend's head and makes a loud "BANG!" sound with his mouth. My friend gets startled, but pulls out the spray and sprays some on the guy's back, and when the guy turns, manages to get some on his face. Still enraged at the guy's actions, my friend jumps out the car and starts to chase the guy into a store, but security sees and my friend walks off. He's in the store waving at us as he smiles. I drive for half a block and bust a bitch (u-turn) and park slowly in the corner with the lights off. As soon as we see the guy walking out of the store with a bag of purchases, my friend lets him get away from the store and runs out to beat his ass. My cousin jumps out, searches the guy's pockets, takes his money (no wallet), and they jump back in and I speed off into the night.
I feel bad for the guy, if anybody deserved to get beat up and robbed for $26, it was us for trying to start shit.
 
Apr 25, 2002
1,578
0
0
46
facebook.com
#2
Damn..lol...


Well when I used 2 drink...I would get drunk almost every other day.... one time I went 2 a party and I was chillin with a few 6 pack of mickeys...it was cool...but then I heard these people talkin about this girl I was messin with....sayin she was messin with this other guy..so I was just chillin ...when that girl showed up..and hit my side..and I fell off the chair..it hit me hella hard..I did'nt even know I was that fucked up....I tried 2 get up..but fell down right away...they kicked me out the party ...took my ass home....I got out the car but could'nt keep my balance so I was fallin and runnin at the same time and smashed my head in the garage door...lol..2 girls tried 2 carry me 2 the "upstairs" appartment i lived in...but I fell in front of my neighbors front door..he came outside and took me upstairs....I remember my moms lookin kinda scared..but that was one of many times I came home drunk as fuck.....I would say that was the good ol days...but now I don't see the point in drinking...
 
Apr 25, 2002
7,804
31
0
37
#3
last halloween i was reallly drunk. probably the drunkest i have ever been without passing out and sleeping for like 8 hours. so i'm walking around blackhawk (this really rich neighborhood in danville with like 190876510346 million dollar houses) and my friend goes "i know a shortcut!''. so im like cool lets do it ya kno im drunk as shit and he takes me to this big ass waterfall on the golf course.. and he wants to climb across it. i wasnt sure how bad it was until i start walking across the rocks on the edge, and its like a damn 20 foot drop into this pool of water. now doing shit like taht while you are drunk does not mix, and i was scared that i was gonna fall, so i was kinda going slow and i fell back into the otherside (not the cliff) but into this pond behind me and got all soaked.

another time i was drunk off 151, and i was riding a razor scooter down a hill (dont ask me why) and i ate shit at got road rash all up my side and on both arms and knees. i still have scars and that was about 6 months ago maybe a little less.