drunk stories
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I dont know how many times I got wasted and hate to go look at my car first to see if its still there and second to see if there's damage been a grip since I done that but I used to put it off til I got the nerve to see and thank goodness it was always in the shape i hoped it to be or ill look at my phone like fuck who did I call or text ill wake up to some weird texts and be like WTF then see what I wrote
Shiiiieeettt. I wouldn't say we were drunk but the homie kon n a few of my other potnas decide to pop a few pills and drink some henny.
We decide to hit this party that my other potna was havin n it was crackin. Usual college parties where I live. Kicked it n drank some. Started to feel hiiiiiiiiiiigh as mafucka. At this point I'm on 3. Left the party n kicked it at my spot. Listened to music n smoked a grip of weed. About 5 am rolled around n at this point I stopped drinking liquor. So did kon. My homie just kept DRINKIN n DRINKIN...... Just henny wit ice. He prolly sat there for a few hours while we were kickin it n polished bout a bottle n a half. Didn't really faze him. I kept laughing n askin him if he's drunk at all, and he's lik naaah not reaally lol. I'm shocked at this point.
Annd since I had been drinkin water, I asked him.... Have u drank any water at all tonight? He looks at his cup and says.... There's ice in my henny.
Lol just one of those things where u had to be there to think it's funny.
Ahhhh good times.
We decide to hit this party that my other potna was havin n it was crackin. Usual college parties where I live. Kicked it n drank some. Started to feel hiiiiiiiiiiigh as mafucka. At this point I'm on 3. Left the party n kicked it at my spot. Listened to music n smoked a grip of weed. About 5 am rolled around n at this point I stopped drinking liquor. So did kon. My homie just kept DRINKIN n DRINKIN...... Just henny wit ice. He prolly sat there for a few hours while we were kickin it n polished bout a bottle n a half. Didn't really faze him. I kept laughing n askin him if he's drunk at all, and he's lik naaah not reaally lol. I'm shocked at this point.
Annd since I had been drinkin water, I asked him.... Have u drank any water at all tonight? He looks at his cup and says.... There's ice in my henny.
Lol just one of those things where u had to be there to think it's funny.
Ahhhh good times.
i do drunk dials every night...on holloween i was at my boys house..i killed a 5th of henn down and a 18 pack and i was drinking yager bombs all night i dont know how i made it through...the last thing i remember is walking out the bathroom in my drawls and i was in front of everyone at the party....well somehow i went into the fucken restroom locked my homeboys door and woke up at 6 in the morning my homeboy had came from anaheim to come get me and i was butt ass naked in the bathtub with the curtain wrapped around me...shakin like a mutha fucka..got my shit left....had to to a double at school from 11-11.....i was so fucken drunk i puked and filled up a garbage bag......dropped my homegirls off in hollywood and long beach came back got ready for school drove to pasadena went to school and i swear i must of threw up a million fucking times...by 8 a clock at night i was sweating...reaking like alcohol and the chef told me long holloween night...and it was 9 he made me some soup i drank it..he let me go home early got back by 10:30 to anahiem and i swear that night i slept like a baby..slept all the way till 5 the next day....
My second week of college...I had been studying hella hard and didnt really get out and fuck with nobody
So I get ready, step out hella fresh, hit this big ass party and see my boy from high school and I got straight blasted like 16, 17 bottles of whatever it was and some shots.
So im literally seeing double...not wavy double like focus and re-focus...like consistent double everything
And apparently this toad looking fat bitch with the body of an inverted penguin and the face of a troll got cozy with me while I was half comatose
I guess from what my friend said I was on some semi rapist shit like 'yo ima fuck you' and she was cool wit it
We didnt have no rubbers so I took my nerdy ass napolean dynamite roomates car to the only liquor store still open...I remember on the way whippin it hella hard a bunch of times and almost crashing
We ended up goin back to her room and I was hittin it and she was gettin hella loud...some people were outside the window laughing and making comments goin "woooo yea" etc! but I was so drunk I yelled fuck yall and kept goin...lmao...little did I know the shit would doom me
So before I left her room she was like "come back here tommorrow ill make u breakfast" and that was the last thing I remembered..
Woke up the next day still perkin but all I remembered "yo this bitch somewhere gonna make me breakfast". So I got up and started stumbling towards her dorm room and slowly the night came back to me. I remember walking towards her room like "oh hell nah" saying it more and more to myself. By the time I got to her dorm room I was literally like scared. There was a group of girls in front of her dorm room who literally laughed at me and the seas parted like Moses. It coulda come straight out of a teen movie.
I went inside her apt and slowly opened the door to her room and saw her sleeping. She looked like Gilbert Gottfried plus 50 pounds. The worst part is she smiled or half opened her mouth or something in her sleep and she had like 4 inch gaps in her front teeth.
I hid in my dorm room all that day and told my roomates like "dont let anyone in who asks for me". I hear a knock knock on my door and there goes the Penguin. Shes like what happened I thought you were coming over.
I was like "yea I was hella drunk and it was a mistake." And she starts bawling in front of my door. "Thats what they always say it was a mistake it was a mistake"
I looked at her for a second like "...." and then I closed the door. I could still hear her crying for like a minute or two until someone came out to comfort her.
Later I found out she was the dorm hoe. Like not just the dorm hoe, the village bicycle hoe bitch status. (I guess she got scabies a month or two later) Word quickly spread, and for some reason i couldnt get no play anywhere. All I kept hearing was "Oh you fucked megan. Sorry but thats just nasty." "Oh you fucked megan" "Oh hell nah I heard you fucked megan"
She was literally on first name status, and she killed my game with any and all girls who were in my dorms. I resorted to going out to local bars and shit to try and get girls cause I was DONE at my school.It was like the ghost of christmas past.
I even ended up once with this pissy drunk ass bitch. Like I was 100 percent sure I was in. It was like finally, praise Jesus! We were fucking around and making out and shit about to fuck. I had her down to bra and panties, and all of a sudden she stops. She could barely talk, but she managed to mumble "no I cant fucked megan. you fucked megan sorry thats grose"
It was like the dude on American Pie how he got busted out in front of his school. My shit was over. That was hilarious. And the girls around my dorm were on some hoe status themselves, running around half naked flashing people, lapdancing, water gun fights and all kinda brouhaha bullshit. For my first year of high school i was like Ebeneezer Scrooge. My boys like "yo lets gooo!" and im like "bah humbug!" "fuck that!" "ima make dinner" lmao.
It took like a year or so before I got back into my game. I guess after me she went on to the nerd circuit - every computer game playing, snot nose ass 4 eyes got with her. She probably singlehandedly gave the monster to every computer science major and engineering student in that school. Good times.
So I get ready, step out hella fresh, hit this big ass party and see my boy from high school and I got straight blasted like 16, 17 bottles of whatever it was and some shots.
So im literally seeing double...not wavy double like focus and re-focus...like consistent double everything
And apparently this toad looking fat bitch with the body of an inverted penguin and the face of a troll got cozy with me while I was half comatose
I guess from what my friend said I was on some semi rapist shit like 'yo ima fuck you' and she was cool wit it
We didnt have no rubbers so I took my nerdy ass napolean dynamite roomates car to the only liquor store still open...I remember on the way whippin it hella hard a bunch of times and almost crashing
We ended up goin back to her room and I was hittin it and she was gettin hella loud...some people were outside the window laughing and making comments goin "woooo yea" etc! but I was so drunk I yelled fuck yall and kept goin...lmao...little did I know the shit would doom me
So before I left her room she was like "come back here tommorrow ill make u breakfast" and that was the last thing I remembered..
Woke up the next day still perkin but all I remembered "yo this bitch somewhere gonna make me breakfast". So I got up and started stumbling towards her dorm room and slowly the night came back to me. I remember walking towards her room like "oh hell nah" saying it more and more to myself. By the time I got to her dorm room I was literally like scared. There was a group of girls in front of her dorm room who literally laughed at me and the seas parted like Moses. It coulda come straight out of a teen movie.
I went inside her apt and slowly opened the door to her room and saw her sleeping. She looked like Gilbert Gottfried plus 50 pounds. The worst part is she smiled or half opened her mouth or something in her sleep and she had like 4 inch gaps in her front teeth.
I hid in my dorm room all that day and told my roomates like "dont let anyone in who asks for me". I hear a knock knock on my door and there goes the Penguin. Shes like what happened I thought you were coming over.
I was like "yea I was hella drunk and it was a mistake." And she starts bawling in front of my door. "Thats what they always say it was a mistake it was a mistake"
I looked at her for a second like "...." and then I closed the door. I could still hear her crying for like a minute or two until someone came out to comfort her.
Later I found out she was the dorm hoe. Like not just the dorm hoe, the village bicycle hoe bitch status. (I guess she got scabies a month or two later) Word quickly spread, and for some reason i couldnt get no play anywhere. All I kept hearing was "Oh you fucked megan. Sorry but thats just nasty." "Oh you fucked megan" "Oh hell nah I heard you fucked megan"
She was literally on first name status, and she killed my game with any and all girls who were in my dorms. I resorted to going out to local bars and shit to try and get girls cause I was DONE at my school.It was like the ghost of christmas past.
I even ended up once with this pissy drunk ass bitch. Like I was 100 percent sure I was in. It was like finally, praise Jesus! We were fucking around and making out and shit about to fuck. I had her down to bra and panties, and all of a sudden she stops. She could barely talk, but she managed to mumble "no I cant fucked megan. you fucked megan sorry thats grose"
It was like the dude on American Pie how he got busted out in front of his school. My shit was over. That was hilarious. And the girls around my dorm were on some hoe status themselves, running around half naked flashing people, lapdancing, water gun fights and all kinda brouhaha bullshit. For my first year of high school i was like Ebeneezer Scrooge. My boys like "yo lets gooo!" and im like "bah humbug!" "fuck that!" "ima make dinner" lmao.
It took like a year or so before I got back into my game. I guess after me she went on to the nerd circuit - every computer game playing, snot nose ass 4 eyes got with her. She probably singlehandedly gave the monster to every computer science major and engineering student in that school. Good times.
