"Devils Advocate"...peep

[Dvious]

"The Devils Advocate"

I sit with a ouija board,paranoya settin in
Trippin from Bacardi and the rush of adrenaline
Starin at the candle light,waitin for contact
My signature has now been placed on the contract
Doomed from birth and sick of not havin shit
I sold my soul,now I'm the devils advocate
I feel a cold chill,and my heart starts racin
Tryin not to regret the situation I'm facin
There's no escapin this world I've been placed in
The Devils at my door so theres no more wastin
Time, I see the signs,and I'm feelin his presence
I'm free from all the shame,guilt and resentments
I was livin in hell,so now the only difference
Is now I have shit to show for my existance
There's no more resistance my souls been taken
All the mistakes are erased that I made then
I don't regret this choice I'm glad that he caught me
Now I'm ownin shit like I was playin monopoly


Nothin is stoppin me now that I've been transformed
And the flames of hell are steady keepin my ass warm

 

[J-Sin]

this is too short.... the first couple of lines seemed to build up and then you just skipped to the ending and then those last two lines build up again..

try doing one verse for the build up, the second verse should be the plot and the third verse should be an ending..

so yeah.. this was pretty short and incomplete..

other than that.. the rhymes were good, structure was straight.. imagery was cool..

just work on the story

peace.

 

[Dvious]

thanks for the comments homie

ghost