Jessica Alba almost let her nipple slip while walking the red carpet of Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood Awards Wednesday night, but caught her strap in time to the dismay of penises everywhere. Although one of these days the real deal is going to happen and I'm scared for when it does. Who's going to deliver my pizza if all the men are stuck at home furiously masturbating? A woman? There's no way they can handle all that cheesy goodness.
