Crazy News!!!!

[Codeine]

Charolette Richards, left, congratulates Bob Reeve, center, and his bride, Lori, both of Arena, Wis., after performing a drive-thru wedding ceromony at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas on Feb. 3, 2006. Richards is considered the grand dame of the Vegas wedding chapel industry, and even competitors say she's been in the business longer than anyone. She estimates she has performed anywhere from 200,000 to 300,000 ceremonies. After years of sanctioning hastily made matches, the Las Vegas marriage bureau plans to close its all-night counter. County officials approved a new 8 a.m.-to-midnight schedule that will take effect next Wednesday,Aug. 30, 2006, eliminating 24-hour marriage license service on Fridays, Saturday and holidays.The counter did not offer after-midnight service Monday through Thursday. Richards is saddened by the change. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

Vegas Closing 24-Hour Marriage Office
Thursday, August 24, 2006 11:29 AM EDT
The Associated Press
By KATHLEEN HENNESSEY

LAS VEGAS (AP) — Spontaneous lovebirds and celebrities take note: there won't be any more early morning quickie marriages in Vegas. After years of sanctioning hastily made matches, the Las Vegas marriage bureau plans to close its all-night counter. County officials approved a new 8 a.m.-to-midnight schedule that will take effect next Wednesday, eliminating 24-hour marriage license service on Fridays, Saturday and holidays.

The counter did not offer after-midnight service Monday through Thursday.

Officials said the move would affect less than 4 percent of the licenses issued by the bureau and save $200,000 a year.

But the cost-cutting move could jeopardize Las Vegas' self-proclaimed standing as the marriage capital of the world, although it could also save the rich and spontaneous from some high-profile grief.

Britney Spears, Nicky Hilton and Demi Moore and Bruce Willis all wed in the late-night hours in Las Vegas.

All three unions ended in divorce, with Spears' January 2004 nuptial to childhood pal Jason Alexander being annulled just 55 hours later. Moore's marriage to Willis, however, lasted 13 years.

Charlotte Richards, whose 24-hour Little White Wedding Chapel married Spears, said she was saddened by the change.

"Let's face it, man, this is Las Vegas. This is the marriage capital of the world," she said. "People just automatically think, `Let's go to Las Vegas! They're open all night!'"

Richards said she marries 10 to 20 couples after midnight on a typical weekend. She provides a stretch limo to shuttle the betrothed back and forth to the courthouse to obtain a license for the ceremony. She said pre-dawn weddings are popular among members of the military, lovers driving in from Southern California and celebrities.

"All the stars come out at night," Richards said. "People that are high profile, when they come down to Las Vegas to get married, they don't want to come in the middle of the day when people are around. They like the privacy."

County officials, who issued 122,259 licenses last year, said the new schedule won't prevent holy matrimony after midnight, but will just force a little planning to obtain a license in advance.

"They just can't run down to the bureau at 3:05 and be married by 3:10. They have to give just a little thought to the process," said County Clerk Shirley Parraguirre.

 

[Codeine]

It Just Looks Like a Penis Pump Mom

It Just Looks Like a Penis Pump Mom
Thursday, August 24, 2006 6:17 PM EDT
The Associated Press


CHICAGO (AP) — A Cook County judge has decided there is enough evidence to prosecute a man who says an airport security guard misheard him when she thought he said that a sexual device in his backpack was actually a bomb.

Mardin Amin claims he actually told the guard the small, black object was a "pump" — as in a penis pump.

Amin's attorney said her client was embarrassed to explain the object in front of his mother, who was traveling with him, so he whispered. The guard misunderstood, and thought he said "bomb," according to defense attorney Eileen O'Neill-Burke.

"His mother is standing there so, under his breath, he says, 'It's a pump. Put it away. Put it away,'" O'Neill-Burke told The Associated Press on Thursday. The guard asked him again and he repeated that the object was a pump, the attorney said.

O'Neill-Burke added that Amin, an Iraqi, has a thick accent and she herself had trouble understanding him until he brought the pump to her office and showed it to her. She said she recently learned that Arabic speakers sometimes have trouble distinguishing the sounds "p" and "b."

However, Judge Gerald Winiecki decided there was sufficient evidence for the case to move forward after the female security guard testified that she heard Amin "clearly" say the word bomb on Aug. 16 at O'Hare International Airport.

Amin, 29, of Skokie, is charged with felony disorderly conduct and faces up to three years in prison if convicted. He was released on $75,000 bond and is due back in court Sept. 13. O'Neill-Burke said he will plead not guilty then.

Amin told the Chicago Sun-Times after the hearing that security officials did not give him a chance to explain the misunderstanding, that he would never use the word "bomb" while going through a security checkpoint, and does not consider a penis pump an unusual object to own.

"It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it."

 

[Codeine]

Bat, Trimmer, Hammer Used in Lawn Brawl

Bat, Trimmer, Hammer Used in Lawn Brawl
Thursday, August 24, 2006 6:00 PM EDT
The Associated Press


FRUIT COVE, Fla. (AP) — The supervisor went for a bat. The employee whipped out a weed trimmer. Another worker used a hammer to break up the fight.

That's the scene St. Johns County authorities described Tuesday after a lawn service supervisor criticized one of his worker's grass-cutting skills, The Florida Times-Union reported.

Lance Tywan Wamley, 26, of Hollywood, Fla., is charged with threatening several men with a 34-inch baseball bat and then hitting one man in the chest. The worker, Eric J. Torres, 23, defended himself with a weed trimmer, authorities said.

Another worker, armed with a hammer, broke up the scuffle, authorities said.

Torres was treated at a hospital. Wamley was charged with felony assault and battery. Information on his legal representation was not available Thursday.

 

[Codeine]

K9 Mistakenly Bites Calif. Police Chief

Hope this was not one of Boegs homies.


K9 Mistakenly Bites Calif. Police Chief
Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:46 PM EDT
The Associated Press


VENTURA, Calif. (AP) — Police Chief Pat Miller learned first hand that the law has teeth: Oxnard police dog Beemer thought he was taking a bite out of crime when he chomped down on the chief's leg.

Beemer, a Belgian Malinois shepherd, bit Miller on the left hamstring this week before the dog's handler pulled Beemer away.

"It hurt. The dog literally picked me off the ground. He ripped my pants and bloodied my leg up pretty good," Miller said Wednesday in recounting the police chase that started in Ventura and ended in Oxnard.

Miller, 53, was on his way to a meeting when he got involved in the chase of a white Ford Explorer on Tuesday. SUV driver Jason Donner, 24, of Ventura was being chased by a Ventura squad car at the time.

Donner later pulled onto a side street and jumped from his moving vehicle, ending up in a Mandalay Bay channel. Miller, who was wearing plain clothes, drove to the other side of the channel and helped chase Donner into a garage.

Oxnard police officers then arrived and Beemer was released, mistaking the Ventura chief of police as the suspect.

"My first thought was, 'What the hell are you doing out there?'" Oxnard police Chief John Crombach said. Miller and Crombach are close friends who once worked together on the Ventura department.

"But Pat came up in an era when officers signed up to protect the community — no matter what. I just wish he would remember he is over 50 now."

Beemer also helped in the capture of Donner, who was booked for investigation of evading police and trespassing and for warrants, police said.

 

[Codeine]

Mo. Man Sends Porn Pictures of Ex-Wife

Mo. Man Sends Porn Pictures of Ex-Wife
Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:32 PM EDT
The Associated Press


CAPE GIRARDEAU, Mo. (AP) — A southeast Missouri man will go to jail for breaking into his ex-wife's e-mail and sending pornographic pictures of her to her relatives.

Alfred Seals, 47, of Cape Girardeau, pleaded guilty Wednesday to misdemeanor tampering with computer data, and was sentenced to 20 days in jail.

Seals gained access to his wife's e-mail account without her consent, then e-mailed the woman's family a Web site link and message stating, "something nice to see," according to a probable-cause statement.

The link took users to a Web site that contained several pornographic pictures Seals took of the woman when they were married.

The woman immediately suspected her ex-husband and went to police.

———

Information from: Southeast Missourian, www.semissourian.com

 

[Codeine]

Man Grabs Swirling Cash on Wis. Highway

Man Grabs Swirling Cash on Wis. Highway
Thursday, August 24, 2006 5:02 PM EDT
The Associated Press


PADDOCK LAKE, Wis. (AP) — A sales representative on the way to a business call made an unscheduled stop — in the middle of the highway — after noticing the cash swirling around his car.

"I was a little west of Paddock Lake and all of a sudden there was money flying in my windshield and grill," Ted Neitzke said.

Neitzke, 58, of Random Lake, said he stopped, got out of his car and began collecting the bills while dodging the traffic.

"So here's this guy — me — in the middle of Highway 50 with a tie picking up money," he said. "It was just kind of sliding along the road. When a car or truck would drive by, it would go one way, and when another one would drive by, it would go the other way."

He managed to pick up a dozen $20 bills and two $1 bills, a total of $242.

Then he called the Kenosha County Sheriff's Department.

"I was just hoping it wasn't anybody's rent money or somebody who needed it," he said. "I figured it was the right thing to do."

The sheriff's report said the money Neitzke collected about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday was placed in an evidence locker, and if no one claims it, Neitzke will get it.

Sheriff's spokesman Horace Staples said not everyone would have turned in the cash.

"When people do that, it's very unique," Staples said. "Normally people would look around and pocket the money."

———

Information from: Kenosha News, www.kenoshanews.com

 

[Codeine]

Milwaukee Is Named 'Drunkest City'

Milwaukee Is Named 'Drunkest City'
Thursday, August 24, 2006 2:45 PM EDT
The Associated Press


MILWAUKEE (AP) — Milwaukee has been ranked by Forbes.com as "America's Drunkest City" on a list of 35 major metropolitan areas ranked for their drinking habits.

Forbes said Tuesday it used numbers from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to rank cities in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers and alcoholism.

Minneapolis-St. Paul was ranked second overall; followed by Columbus, Ohio; Boston; Austin, Texas; Chicago; Cleveland; Pittsburgh and then Philadelphia and Providence, R.I., in a tie for ninth.

Rick DeMeyer, 28, said Wednesday as he was celebrating his birthday at G-Daddy's BBC he could understand Milwaukee's ranking.

"I have had people stay with me from London and Chicago, and they can't get over how much we drink," he said. "I guess we do."

But officials at Visit Milwaukee, the area's convention and visitors bureau, contend that the city has come a long way in ridding itself of its beer-guzzling image.

Milwaukeeans have plenty of other ways to entertain themselves without drinking alcohol, said Dave Fantle, a spokesman for the group. He noted a new convention center and baseball park had been built and the Milwaukee Art Museum expanded in recent years.

"We've gone from Brew City to new city," he said.

 

[Codeine]

Judge to Rule if 'Meowing' Is Harassment

Judge to Rule if 'Meowing' Is Harassment
Thursday, August 24, 2006 7:45 AM EDT
The Associated Press


JEANNETTE, Pa. (AP) — Meow. A district judge has been asked to decide whether that word is a harmless taunt or grounds for misdemeanor harassment. Jeannette police charged a 14-year-old boy for "meowing" whenever he sees his neighbor, 78-year-old Alexandria Carasia.

The boy's family and Carasia do not get along. The boy's mother said the family got rid of their cat after Carasia complained to police that it used her flower garden as a litter box.

The boy testified Tuesday that he only meowed at the woman twice. Carasia testified, "Every time he sees me, he meows."

The boy's defense attorney, David Martin Jr., argued that the charge should be dismissed.

"This should never have been filed," Martin said. "This is not something that police should be wasting their time with or wasting the court's time."

Jeannette District Judge Joseph DeMarchis decided to wait 90 days before ruling. DeMarchis said his decision will be based on how the boy and his neighbor get along in the meantime.

———

Information from: Tribune-Review, www.triblive.com

 

[Codeine]

Pa. Officer Accused in Bra Theft Scheme

Pa. Officer Accused in Bra Theft Scheme
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 8:40 PM EDT
The Associated Press


PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A police officer had two girls shoplift for her and then lied about her name and occupation when the group was apprehended, prosecutors charged.

Renell Cohen, 35, picked out bras that were later stolen by the girls when they left a Wal-Mart at the Franklin Mills Mall, authorities said.

Security cameras were trained on the group during the July store visit after an assistant manager thought Cohen was acting suspiciously.

Cohen, a four year veteran of the police department, was fired Tuesday, the same day theft, corruption of minors and other charges were upheld against her at a preliminary hearing in Family Court.

The girls told authorities they were between 14 and 16.

"The facts of this case are really troubling," Assistant District Attorney Janet Turnbull said.

The girls stole merchandise worth $259.52, while Cohn went on to purchase goods worth about $87.

 

[Codeine]

Man Comes to Court Drunk on DUI Charge

Man Comes to Court Drunk on DUI Charge
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 8:50 AM EDT
The Associated Press


JIM THORPE, Pa. (AP) — A man who showed up in court drunk to be sentenced for drunken driving told the judge he routinely drinks 12 beers a day "and then some."

Carbon County President Judge Roger Nanovic sentenced 25-year-old Joshua Beury yesterday to 30 days to six months in prison for contempt of court and the second-offense DUI charge.

Beury received a similar sentence on Monday for charges related to a November 6th crash which his blood-alcohol level registered 0.17, about twice the legal limit.

Beury told Nanovic he'd had two beers the night before the hearing, when his blood alcohol registered .20. He said he was on medication for bipolar disorder and other mental health issues.

———

Information from: The Morning Call, www.mcall.com

 

[ThiZZmAtiC510]

 

[MuneyHongry650]

lol 10 out of 12 posts in this thread were all by you....

 

[Chree]

lol, i read it all, some good shit, thanks 4 this codeine

 

[ThiZZmAtiC510]

hahahaha that shit is too funny. haha

haha that shit makes me laugh every time i see it

 

[LA-Z]

was a good read thanks

 

[D'struction]

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN REEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN

That pretty much sums it up

 

[D'struction]

..

 

[Nuttkase]

That's a lot of reading to you guys? How many of you read books?

Oh shit I forgot, it's not "cool" to read.

Thanks though Codeine some of those were pretty funny/crazy.

 

[D'struction]

^^^ I'll read a book...but fuck readin that much on the internet

 

[Nuttkase]

^^^Why is that? Just curious what your reasoning is. I'd say atleast 50% of what I do on the net is read. The other 50% is music and videos. There is a lot interesing stuff to read that can only be found on the internet.