Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, “I’m
Stupid”.
That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask
them
anything. It would be like, “Excuse me... oops, never mind. I
didn’t see
your sign.”
It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of
boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over
and
says “Hey, you moving?” “Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a
week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of
bass and
this idiot on the dock goes, “Hey, y’all catch all them fish?”
“Nope.
Talked ‘em into giving up. Here’s your sign.”
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery
Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there’s only
one way to
test it. “Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us
if it
hurts when they bite you.” “Well, all right, but hold my sign. I
don’t
wanna lose it.”
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at
my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, “Tire go flat?” I
couldn’t
resist. I said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other
three just
swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.”
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over
to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back
to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the
exhaust pipe,
then says, “Darn that’s hot!” See? If he’d been wearing his
sign, I
could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn’t you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and
I
couldn’t get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help
and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went
through his
basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear
of
needing a sign...until he asked “So..is your truck stuck?” I
couldn’t
help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back to
him and said “no I’m delivering’ a bridge...here’s your sign.”
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and
said
“Are you still here?” I replied, “No. I left about 10 minutes
ago.
Here’s your sign.”
Anybody you know need a sign today?
--
Stupid”.
That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask
them
anything. It would be like, “Excuse me... oops, never mind. I
didn’t see
your sign.”
It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of
boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over
and
says “Hey, you moving?” “Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a
week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of
bass and
this idiot on the dock goes, “Hey, y’all catch all them fish?”
“Nope.
Talked ‘em into giving up. Here’s your sign.”
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery
Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there’s only
one way to
test it. “Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us
if it
hurts when they bite you.” “Well, all right, but hold my sign. I
don’t
wanna lose it.”
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at
my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, “Tire go flat?” I
couldn’t
resist. I said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other
three just
swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.”
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over
to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back
to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the
exhaust pipe,
then says, “Darn that’s hot!” See? If he’d been wearing his
sign, I
could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn’t you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and
I
couldn’t get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help
and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went
through his
basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear
of
needing a sign...until he asked “So..is your truck stuck?” I
couldn’t
help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back to
him and said “no I’m delivering’ a bridge...here’s your sign.”
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and
said
“Are you still here?” I replied, “No. I left about 10 minutes
ago.
Here’s your sign.”
Anybody you know need a sign today?
--
