along with news, and columns i'll be posting up reviews of pay per views when available
WWF Royal Rumble 1990
The event starts off with something that you just don’t get anymore with the Royal Rumbles in the last 15 years… you get a little video feature, voice by Vince McMahon, announcing all the participants of the Rumble along with a quick clip of the wrestler in action. If they still did that today, I’d pop for it. Anyway… the Rumble emanates from Orlando, Florida, and your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Jesse “The Body” Ventura (complete with Mickey Mouse ears).
Match 1: The Bushwhackers VS The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart)
The Rougeaus come out to probably the second-best late ‘80s/early ‘90’s era entrance music “All American Boys.” (Second of course to “Jive Soul Bro”
Basically their gimmick was that they were French-Canadians who moved to Memphis and were “All-American Boys.” It was silly… but that was the WWF at the time. Raymond Rougeau and Butch Miller start things off, with Raymond suckering him into a handshake before laying him out with some forearms. Raymond grabs a sleeper hold early, but Butch counters it by ramming Raymond into the corner. Butch then bites Raymond on the ass, then bites the ref on the ass, and after some double-teaming, the Bushwhackers clear the ring. Once back in the ring, Luke Williams and Jacques Rougeau both tag in, with Jacques taking early advantage with some right hands, but Luke retaliates in kind, then bites him in the face. The Bushwhackers once again clear the ring with some double-teaming before the referee restores order again. Back in the ring, Jacques takes control of the match and while he distracts the ref, Raymond chokes Luke in the corner with the ring ropes. Raymond tags in, taking advantage by ramming Luke into the turnbuckles, then throwing to the outside where Jacques has his way with him. Luke tries to mount a comeback with another bite to the ass, but Raymond puts a stop to it. After a failed pin attempt, Jacques tags in and nails Luke with a spinning leg lariat. Another quick tag out to Raymond and the Rougeaus double team Luke in the corner, then pick him up in a double press slam and clothesline him across the top rope. Rest-hold time as Raymond clamps on a chinlock, but the crowd gets behind Luke and he powers out of it, but can’t make the tag to Butch in time. The Rougeaus double team Luke in the corner once more, then Jacques applies an abdominal stretch. Raymond tags in and applies a camel clutch, wearing down Luke even more. Once again, though, the crowd gets behind Luke and he begins to power out, but Raymond beats him down once more. After a bodyslam, Jacques tags in and goes for a big splash, but Luke gets his knees up into Jacques’ midsection. Luke makes the hot tag to Butch and he cleans house. All four men eventually start brawling, and the Bushwhackers Irish whip the Rougeaus into each other, then go for the Battering Ram, but Jimmy Hart interferes to try and stop it. The Rougeaus escape and The Bushwhackers almost have their way with Jimmy before Jacques makes the save. Raymond grabs a Boston Crab on Butch, but Luke breaks up the attempt, the Bushwhackers hit the Battering Ram on Jacques and get the pin at about 11 minutes. It sounds like a silly match, I know… and it was for the most part, but the Rougeaus made this match this match entertaining and watchable. For those who don’t remember or have never seen the Rougeaus, they were one of the better work-rate tag teams in the WWF that never held the Tag Team Titles.
Interview: “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
One of the best talkers of the era, Ted DiBiase, cuts a great interview about drawing the number 1 in the Royal Rumble. You see, at the previous year’s Rumble, he “bought” the number 30, and as luck would have it, he “drew” the number 1 this year. Great interview.
Match 2: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake VS The Genius
After delivering a poem that only Lanny Poffo could write, “The Barber” makes his way to the ring to a huge pop. This is embarrassing, but as a 10 year old kid… I always popped for “The Barber.” I don’t know if it was Mr. Ed Leslie himself… or the fact that I loved his music. Nonetheless, the match gets underway with the macho Beefcake taking on the effeminate Genius. The Genius did some stretches in the corner, and offered a handshake to Beefcake who refused it. The Genius stalled before locking up with Beefcake, then pranced around the ring and did some cartwheels. After finally locking up, Beefcake shoves Genius into the corner, and after a clean break Beefcake mocks the Genius to the delight of the kids in the audience. Poffo did some more cartwheels before tying up again, but no clean break here as the Genius rakes Beefcake in the eyes. Genius attacks Beefcake with some punches to the gut, backs him into the corner and goes for some punches to the head, but Beefcake reverses it with a reverse atomic drop. They tie up once again, and Genius nails Brutus with some right hands, then rams him into the corner, attacking him with more blows to the midsection. He Irish whips Beefcake into the corner, but misses an avalanche attempt. Brutus takes control and crotches Genius on the top rope, before The Genius leaves the ring to regroup. At this point the crowd starts chanting “F**got” at The Genius, and after some back-and-forth dialogue between Schiavone and Ventura, the future Governor of Minnesota delivers perhaps one of the most un-PC lines in WWF history “How do you know they’re not chanting at Beefcake Schiavone? He IS from San Francisco!” Wow. Anyway, back to the action… Genius is back in control with forearm blows and stomps to the back of Beefcake’s head. Genius hits a bodyslam, then goes to the top rope for a double axe-handle, but Brutus sees it coming and nails him in the gut on the way down. Beefcake hits a bodyslam, whips The Genius into the ropes and goes for the Sleeper Hold, but Genius escapes and the referee inadvertently gets knocked out cold. Genius takes back control with several right hands to the face and gut. Genius whips “The Barber” into the ropes, but Beefcake ducks a clothesline and locks on the Sleeper Hold. Genius is out cold, but the ref is still out cold. Beefcake, whose gimmick was to cut his opponents’ hair after they were out cold, went to the outside to get his scissors despite not winning the match yet. Beefcake then starts cutting The Genius’ hair and gets some progress done before The Genius’ buddy, Mr. Perfect, comes to the rescue and attacks Beefcake. Genius and Perfect double-team Beefcake with a steel chair, before referees and WWF officials come to the ring and break it up. The verdict is a Double-DQ in about 11 minutes. Another silly match, made watchable only by Lanny Poffo… who despite silly gimmicks, was a hell of a worker.
Interview: The Heenan Family
Sean Mooney interviews Bobby Heenan and his charges: “Ravishing” Rick Rude, Haku and Andre The Giant. Heenan tries to assure Mooney that the Heenan Family stands strong as a unit, but eventually they all begin to argue because they all want to win the Rumble.
Match 3: “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin VS Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (W/ Jimmy Hart) – “I Quit” Match
Don’t get excited. This isn’t an “I Quit” match on the level of Bret Hart/Steve Austin… or even Rock/Mankind. Nope, not in the least. The match starts off fine enough with Garvin laying into Valentine with stiff chops and punches. Valentine fights back with some stiff chops of his own. The two exchange in a fun little slugfest, that Garvin eventually wins. Valentine escapes to the outside to regroup with Jimmy Hart. Back in the ring, Garvin goes for a single takedown, but Valentine jabs in the face, then drops two big elbows on Garvin’s neck. Valentine goes for a pinfall before the ref tells him its an “I Quit” Match… this won’t be the last time this happens. Valentine attacks Garvin with more lefts and rights, and Garvin retaliates with his own before hitting a jumping headbutt that takes both men down. Garvin recovers and goes for a piledriver, but Valentine backdrops out of it. Garvin comes down and tries for a sunset flip, but Valentine sits down on top of him but can’t pin him… Garvin reverses it… and the ref tells him no pinfalls. Back on their feet, Valentine and Garvin both run off the ropes and have a mid-ring collision, taking both men down. Valentine adjusts a brace on his leg, called “The Heart Breaker” with the idea being it would add extra pressure to his figure four leglock. Valentine applies the Figure Four, but Garvin feels no effect, because Garvin has his own brace called the “Hammer Jammer” (seriously), and he mocks Valentine while in the hold. The two break up the hold, and Valentine eventually scoops up Garvin and applies a Russian backbreaker, but doesn’t get a submission. Valentine drops a couple elbows, then goes to apply the figure four, but Garvin kicks out of it. Garvin hits some more stiff chops to the chest, backing him into the corner, hitting him with repeated headbutts. Garvin applies an Indian Deathlock, using the *sigh* “Hammer Jammer” to apply more pressure. Valentine reaches the ropes, and Garvin breaks the hold. Valentine regroups on the outside with Jimmy Hart, then grabs Garvin and pulls him to the outside. Both men chop the hell out of each other on the arena floor, and Garvin goes for a piledriver, but Valentine backdrops out of it. Back in the ring, Valentine pounds on Garvin in the corner, tying him to the Tree of Woe, and stomping him repeatedly. Valentine pounds on Garvin some more with forearms, then whips him into the ropes… with another mid-ring collision between both men. Jimmy Hart interferes and takes off Garvin’s “Hammer Jammer”… now Valentine can make Garvin submit. Garvin is locked in the Figure Four in the middle of the ring and is in a lot of pain. Valentine places himself in position so that Garvin can’t reach the ropes… so of course, Garvin reverses the hold. Valentine reverses it back, and grabs the bottom rope to add extra leverage to Garvin’s leg before the referee makes him break it. Valentine works over Garvin’s legs, and Garvin again (for the love of God) goes for a small package pin attempt. Valentine goes to the top rope (yeah, this’ll work), but Garvin slams him off the top rope… and rips off Valentine’s “Heart Breaker.” Now both men are “equal.” Garvin ties Valentine up in the ropes, grabs Jimmy Hart and throws him in the ring. He’s about to attack Jimmy, but Valentine frees himself and goes to attack Garvin from behind… but Garvin moves out of the way and decks him with “Heart Breaker” he still had in his hand. Garvin clamped on a Sharp Shooter (called the “Reverse Figure Four” by Schiavone, which makes sense as Bret Hart hadn’t been using the hold yet) and gets the submission at 17 minutes. Despite the repeated pin attempts, despite not having the blood and gore of future WWF/E “I Quit” matches, AND despite the fact this match was probably about 5 minutes too long… it was entertaining, if for no other reason than to just see Garvin and Valentine potato each other.
Interview: Mr. Perfect
Mr. Perfect promises a world of pain for Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, as this would mark the start of a lengthy feud between the two that would last until the summer. Perfect then says he drew the “perfect” number for the Rumble… that’s right Number 30… and he promises he will win.
The Brother Love Show
Brother Love is in the ring and defines the word “lady” as “Sensational” Queen Sherri. Sherri (who I always had the hots for, don’t ask me why), hits the ring and proceeds to insult the fans, Dusty Rhodes and especially Rhodes’ manager Sapphire… saying she has no class, no finesse or no beauty. Brother Love says that the word “peasant” is defined by Sapphire herself. Sapphire hits the ring, bouncing and jogging. You know, it really says a lot about Dusty Rhodes as a performer that despite being given a stupid gimmick, a stupid outfit and bad entrance music, the fact that he was so over with the fans that he managed to get an overweight senior citizen as over as he was by mere association is nothing short of astonishing. Brother Love and Sherri have some fun at Sapphire’s expense, asking her questions, then letting her answer. Boy, Sherri was such a fantastic talker, and deserves her spot in the Hall of Fame purely for that. Eventually Sapphire tires of the insults, slaps Sherri across the face and a catfight ensues. Dusty Rhodes and Randy Savage join the fray, with the “Macho King” and Sherri making a getaway. Brother Love is back in the ring, insulting Dusty, so Dusty has his way with him, slamming him on the mat, then holding him for Sapphire to slap across the face. Man… Dusty was over.
Interview: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
Duggan is interviewed about his match the Big Boss Man. If you’ve seen one Hacksaw interview, you’ve seen them all. Not much here.
Match 4: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan VS The Big Boss Man (w/ “The Dr. of Style” Slick)
Ahhh… Boss Man hits the ring with the greatest entrance song of all time, “Jive Soul Bro.” Anyway, the two men lock up, then get into a slug fest. Duggan reverses an Irish whip and hits Boss Man with two big shoulder tackles, driving Boss Man to the outside. Boss Man drags him to the outside, where the two men brawl around the ringside area. Boss Man rams Duggan into the post, but he misses a charge and crashes into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Duggan takes advantage with right hands. Boss Man reverses a whip into the turnbuckle, then nails Duggan with a big avalanche. Boss Man whips Duggan into the ropes and goes for a boot to the gut, Duggan catches the boot, but Boss Man actually hits an enziguri. For those who never saw him in his prime, despite being close to 400 pounds, the Boss Man was incredibly agile for a man his size. Duggan mounts a comeback, but it is short lived as Boss Man delivers a big ax-handle to Duggan’s back. Boss Man attacks Duggan’s throats with chops, then chokes him in the ropes with his boot. As he distracts the referee, Slick chokes Duggan in the corner. Rest-Hold Time! Boss Man applies a chinlock, but eventually Duggan fights out of it, runs off the ropes for an attack, but Boss Man nails him with a knee to the gut. Boss Man applies a couple chokeholds, breaking them at the 4 count. Boss Man stops another Hacksaw flurry, then goes back to another chinlock. After a failed pin attempt, Duggan tries mounting another offense, but Boss Man again denies him and locks him in a bear hug. Duggan tries boxing Boss Man’s ears, but Boss Man will not let the hold go. Duggan goes for headbutts instead, but Boss Man just falls on top of him. Luckily for Duggan they’re close enough to the ropes to break the hold. Duggan makes a comeback with several right hands, then clotheslines him over the top rope. Back in the ring, Boss Man attacks with several headbutts, but misses an elbow drop. Duggan backs Boss Man in a corner, and pounds him in the corner. He whips him into the opposite corner, but Boss Man moves out of the way and Duggan misses a charge. Boss Man goes up top for a big splash (do heels not pay any attention? That never works) and misses. Boss Man grabs his night stick and levels Duggan with it in view of the referee, getting disqualified in about 10 minutes. Duggan comes back in the ring with the 2 X 4, and nails Boss Man and Slick to the crowd’s delight. Not Flair/Steamboat ’89 by any stretch of the imagination… but the crowd was into it, and they worked a solid “big man” match.
Royal Rumble Participants
Another thing they don’t do anymore… quick 15 to 30 second interview promos of the Rumble participants talking trash about how they’re going to win the Rumble. We get interviews with Earthquake, Demolition, Dusty Rhodes, The Rockers, Rick Martel, “Superfly” Snuka (try to figure what he’s saying), The Ultimate Warrior (never mind Snuka, try to figure out THIS guy’s saying), Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, The Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and of course, Hulk Hogan, among others. This was fun. It gives the match an important feel.
The Royal Rumble Match
DiBiase dominated early, eliminating both Koko B. Ware and Marty Jannetty, until Number 4 hit the ring, which was Jake Roberts, with whom DiBiase was feuding at the time. DiBiase meets him in the outside, and the two brawl in the ringside area. Roberts cleans house with DiBiase back in the ring, but DiBiase backdrops out of the DDT attempt. Randy Savage hits the ring at Number 5, and he and DiBiase promptly double team Roberts. Savage ties up Roberts in the ropes, and continue to abuse him, until “Rowdy” Roddy Piper hits the ring at number 6 to help out Roberts. Piper nails Savage and DiBiase with a double clothesline, then frees Roberts out of the ropes (which is dumb, he should have just tossed him out). The faces pair off and fight the heels. Savage nearly eliminates Piper, and Piper nearly eliminates Savage before number 7 hits the ring… The Warlord. Thankfully for him, no Pizza Hut Delivery trucks were in sight. Warlord does the predictable “big man” tactics and pounds all the baby faces in the ring. Piper and Warlord duke it out in one corner, while Savage and DiBiase continue the Roberts beat-down in another corner. Number 8 hits the ring: Bret “Hitman” Hart… now 3 baby faces and 3 heels pair off against each other… I thought this was every man for himself? Hart works on trying to throw out Randy Savage, while DiBiase continues to beat on Roberts, and Piper and Warlord duke it out. Bad News Brown comes out to the Haas Pop at Number 9, and the announcers make a big deal about how Brown doesn’t have friends so this environment is perfect for him. Roberts hooks up DiBiase for a DDT, but Savage makes the save with a clothesline that sends Jake over the top rope and out. Dusty Rhodes hits the ring at Number 10 to a huge pop and goes immediately after Savage. The focus is on those two for a few moments, as Rhodes eliminates Savage with a backdrop. As Piper tries in vain to eliminate Warlord, Andre The Giant comes down to the ring as the 11th entrant. Warlord goes after Andre, but Andre easily tosses him out. In a funny bit, Bobby Heenan (Andre’s manager) gets in a scuffle on the outside with Mr. Fuji (Warlord’s manager). Andre abuses Dusty and Piper in a corner, they mount a brief comeback, but Andre puts a stop to it. Future WrestleCrap entry the Red Rooster hits the ring at number 12, just as Roddy Piper tosses out Bad News Brown. Brown doesn’t take kindly to it, and Brown eliminates Piper from the outside. The two brawl around the ringside area and back to the dressing room, starting a feud between the two that would last several months. Back in the ring, Andre continues to dominate, pounding on Rooster, Hart and Rhodes. Lucky number 13 is Demolition Ax who goes after Andre just as he eliminated the Rooster. Ax takes Andre down to his knees, and continues to pound on him. At the time, Demolition were feuding with Andre The Giant and Haku over the tag team titles. As Bret Hart tries to eliminate DiBiase, Rhodes and Ax double team Andre who was stuck in the ropes. Andre’s tag partner, Haku, heads down to the ring at number 14 to help his partner out. Andre does the sit-down squash on Ax, while Haku pounds on Dusty. Dusty busts out the “flip-flop-and fly” and takes down Haku. Eventually Haku and Andre double-team their nemesis, Ax. Number 15 is Demolition Smash… hmmm, these “random drawings” certainly have a lot of coincidences. What are the odds that the two top tag teams in the company that are currently feuding with each other are all in the ring at the same time? As one would expect, Demolition and the Colossal Connection pair off, while Hart and DiBiase each take a breather. Akeem, the, *ahem* “African Dream,” comes to the ring at number 16… sadly “Jive Soul Bro” was NOT playing. Demolition double team Haku, then toss Andre The Giant over the top rope. Bret Hart also gets eliminated by DiBiase around the same time. Future Hall-of-Famer “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka hits the ring at number 17, and immediately gets pounded by Akeem. Demolition meanwhile double-team Haku, while DiBiase gets help from Virgil to attack Dusty Rhodes. Superfly hits a flying headbutt, eliminating Akeem from the ring. Dino Bravo heads to ring, being Number 18 and all, he’s got a right, and immediately goes after Haku, but can’t quite get him over. Meanwhile, Demolition pound on the Million Dollar Man… almost eliminating him from the match. The late John Tenta, in his Earthquake persona, hits the ring and immediately eliminates Rhodes. Demolition attack Earthquake, but Earthquake powers out and eliminates Ax. I forgot the monster push they gave Tenta back in the day. Number 20, Jim Neidhart, hits the ring and goes right after Earthquake. Neidhart, Smash, Snuka, DiBiase and Haku all gang up and get rid of Earthquake. The Ultimate Warrior is Number 21, he hits the ring and immediately destroys Dino Bravo, sending him to the outside. Snuka and Haku attack Warrior, but he shrugs it off. Smash attacks Warrior, but he shrugs him off as well. Rick Martel saunters to the ring at Number 22. Martel goes right after Smash and tries eliminating him, with help from the Warrior. Haku nails a crescent kick, and Smash is eliminated. Martel nearly goes over courtesy of Neidhart, but manages to hang on. Tito Santana, who had been feuding with Martel, hits the ring at Number 23 and goes after “the Model.” General battle royale mayhem ensues until number 24, the Honky Tonk Man, hits the ring. Honky and DiBiase double team Warrior, with Martel adding his muscle as well. Martel then manages to toss out Neidhart. Warrior then nails a big clothesline and eliminates DiBiase. Number 25 comes out to a huge pop… of course it’s the WWF Champ, Hulk Hogan. Hogan hits the ring and immediately eliminates Superfly Snuka. Haku meets the same fate as Snuka. Martel and Santana are brawling near the ropes, and Warrior eliminates Martel. Martel pairs off with Warrior, and Hogan pairs off with Honky. Shawn Michaels hits the ring at 26 and is quickly ejected by Warrior. Honky gets tossed by Hogan and Martel is eliminated by Warrior. And in one of the coolest moments in Rumble history, the two biggest stars in the company are alone in the ring together to a huge pop. Hogan and Warrior stare each other down and finally attack each other before both men get knocked down in a double clothesline. This is the start of the program the lead to the oft-remembered match between the two at WrestleMania VI. Barbarian is number 27 and attacks both men, and Rick Rude, number 28 hits the ring early and both heels attack the faces. Rude pairs off with Warrior and Barbarian pairs off with Hogan. I like that, because it acknowledges that Warrior and Rude had a past. Hogan gets put out of commission, and Barbarian and Rude double team Warrior. While they double team Warrior, Hogan comes to the save, but inadvertently eliminates the Warrior. The 29th man is Hercules, who goes to work on the Barbarian. General brawling continues until the final entrant, Mr. Perfect, makes his way to the ring. Perfect goes right after Hogan while Barbarian and Rude double team Hercules. Barbarian charges Hercules, but gets backdropped out of the ring for his troubles. The Final Four: Hercules, Hulk Hogan, Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude. But that doesn’t last long as Rude tosses Hercules over the top. Hennig and Rude double team Hogan, but when Perfect holds Hogan for Rude, Hogan ducks and Rude nails Perfect inadvertently. Hogan eliminates Rude, and its down to Perfect and Hogan. Perfect actually hits the Perfect-Plex, but of course, Hogan starts Hulking up… and its really only a matter of time… and Perfect gets sent sailing over the top. Your winner… Hulk Hogan! This was a fun, fun, fun Royal Rumble… but they usually are anyway. Very few Rumbles have ever been disappointing.
ORDER IN:
Ted DiBiase
Koko B. Ware
Marty Jannetty
Jake “The Snake” Roberts
“Macho King” Randy Savage
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper
The Warlord
Bret “Hitman” Hart
Bad News Brown
Dusty Rhodes
Andre The Giant
Red Rooster
Demoliton Ax
Haku
Demolition Smash
Akeem
“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka
Dino Bravo
Earthquake
Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart
Ultimate Warrior
“The Model” Rick Martel
Tito Santana
Honky Tonk Man
Hulk Hogan
Shawn Michaels
The Barbarian
“Ravishing” Rick Rude
Hercules
Mr. Perfect
ORDER OUT:
Koko by DiBiase
Jannetty by DiBiase
Roberts by Savage
Savage by Rhodes
Warlord by Andre
Brown by Piper
Piper by Brown
Rooster by Andre
Andre by Demolition
Bret by DiBiase
Akeem by Snuka
Rhodes by Earthquake
Ax by Earthquake
Earthquake by Neidhart, Haku, Snuka, DiBiase and Smash
Bravo by Warrior
Smash by Haku
Neidhart by Martel
DiBiase by Warrior
Snuka by Hogan
Haku by Hogan
Santana by Warrior
Michaels by Warrior
Honky by Hogan
Martel by Warrior
Warrior by Hogan, Barbarian & Rude
Barbarian by Hercules
Hercules by Rude
Rude by Perfect
Perfect by Hogan
WINNER: Hulk Hogan
