>Here's a few crackpot reports of the last 12 months from the wonderful
>world of journalism .
>
>1st Place: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
>victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
>And now, the honorable mentions:
>
>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
>The claim was approved.
>
>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
>had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
>from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
>incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
>waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
>mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>the injuries, he told police that he was simply trying to see how close
>he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>fled, leaving the $20bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
>got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
>you money, is a crime committed?)
>
>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
>head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
>thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
>was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
>the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
>the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
>"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a. m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
>register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
>clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
>walked away.
>
>A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!:
>
>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
>a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
>arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
>home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
>to trying to steal gasoline but had plugged his siphon hose into the
>motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
>to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Thanks
>world of journalism .
>
>1st Place: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
>victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
>And now, the honorable mentions:
>
>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
>The claim was approved.
>
>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
>had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
>from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
>incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
>waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
>mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>the injuries, he told police that he was simply trying to see how close
>he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>fled, leaving the $20bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
>got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
>you money, is a crime committed?)
>
>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
>head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
>thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
>was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
>the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
>the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
>"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a. m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
>register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
>clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
>walked away.
>
>A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!:
>
>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
>a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
>arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
>home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
>to trying to steal gasoline but had plugged his siphon hose into the
>motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
>to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Thanks
