Buggin'...
- Thread starter Sergeant Hustle
- Start date
What kinda drugs she on, and why do you feel you have to take the child? Just tryin to get a lil more info cuz it's a complicated situation and a big decision to make. Are you jus takin the kid for a couple weeks or do you plan on taking the kid permanently. I know social services is a real shitty process and I got much respect for you if that's why you feel your obligated.
It's obvious you got some hidden motherly instincts for the child or you wouldn't feel the need to protect her. But it's a life altering decision no matter what you choose to to. Your life, her life, and your friends life will be affected by this choice because your in that inner circle of fate and fam.
My advice, do what you do and look after the best interests of your Goddaughter whatever you think they should be. If your strong enough to take her, then take her. If not, find somebody who can. By intervening you now have the responsibility and the power to shape your Goddaughter's life and her experiences she will have as she grows up.
I do know this, growing up in a house where your parents are hooked on drugs means you always come second in every decision they make. And that will fuck up a little kid in the head.
Maybe try takin her for a little while and then tellin your homegirl to pick between drugs or her daughter. This way giving your homegirl time to think about shit and giving you a little bit of time to experience takin care of your Goddaughter.
And if she picks drugs over her daughter (and you'll know if she does cuz you her homegirl and you can tell if she lyin or if she in danger of relapsin) then decide if you wanna take care of the child or if you might need someone else to do it.
Don't stress you sound like a good person and a damn good friend. Whatever you do it will probably be the right thing.
It's obvious you got some hidden motherly instincts for the child or you wouldn't feel the need to protect her. But it's a life altering decision no matter what you choose to to. Your life, her life, and your friends life will be affected by this choice because your in that inner circle of fate and fam.
My advice, do what you do and look after the best interests of your Goddaughter whatever you think they should be. If your strong enough to take her, then take her. If not, find somebody who can. By intervening you now have the responsibility and the power to shape your Goddaughter's life and her experiences she will have as she grows up.
I do know this, growing up in a house where your parents are hooked on drugs means you always come second in every decision they make. And that will fuck up a little kid in the head.
Maybe try takin her for a little while and then tellin your homegirl to pick between drugs or her daughter. This way giving your homegirl time to think about shit and giving you a little bit of time to experience takin care of your Goddaughter.
And if she picks drugs over her daughter (and you'll know if she does cuz you her homegirl and you can tell if she lyin or if she in danger of relapsin) then decide if you wanna take care of the child or if you might need someone else to do it.
Don't stress you sound like a good person and a damn good friend. Whatever you do it will probably be the right thing.
Thanks for your response...
She told me she is doing coke regularly and doesn't sleep for days sometimes. She says she's always tired. She's dating some cokehead dude who is supposedly "brilliant" but needs help with his addiction. Then she was talking to me about how she was helping her friend move, and her friend does "crystal meth" and how f'd up she is. She is a weak-minded woman...as far as I'm concerned, crystal meth is right around the corner for her when coke gets boring or she feels the need to act out against herself. She's been thru a lot and told me that she's thought a few times about asking me to take her. There's no way in hell that I'd let that little girl go into the system, especially when I am able-bodied and technically equipped to care for her. I don't want that responsibility, but I will take it on for the benefit of the little girl. I might be able to just take her for awhile...but at the same time, I think all that freedom will really turn her mom into a monster. It could go one way or another and I have to be prepared either way. I am the baby's Godmother so I feel that her welfare is my responsibility.
She told me she is doing coke regularly and doesn't sleep for days sometimes. She says she's always tired. She's dating some cokehead dude who is supposedly "brilliant" but needs help with his addiction. Then she was talking to me about how she was helping her friend move, and her friend does "crystal meth" and how f'd up she is. She is a weak-minded woman...as far as I'm concerned, crystal meth is right around the corner for her when coke gets boring or she feels the need to act out against herself. She's been thru a lot and told me that she's thought a few times about asking me to take her. There's no way in hell that I'd let that little girl go into the system, especially when I am able-bodied and technically equipped to care for her. I don't want that responsibility, but I will take it on for the benefit of the little girl. I might be able to just take her for awhile...but at the same time, I think all that freedom will really turn her mom into a monster. It could go one way or another and I have to be prepared either way. I am the baby's Godmother so I feel that her welfare is my responsibility.
You can do it! The responsibility is BIG, but I KNOW you have it in you. As many times as you have told me you don't want kids, I know how positively a child can change your life. Its HARD, very hard to raise a child but you just getting her out of that situation is a step in the right direction for her, and it would be a positively and totaly selfless act for you to take that on. You will be blessed.
Sarg,
I did it for my first little nephew.
He only stayed with me a few months but he was still a toddler at the time.
I know a few months do not compare to a life time but just wanted to assure you of a few things.
You're gonna bond with this little girl (specially since ya'll are females),
you're gonna grow to love children.
I know you seem kinda "iffy" right now but that's all gonna change
You'll do just fine....
You're gonna love this little girl as if she were your own daughter, and the love alone will insure your's and her's future.
By the way,
I'm no fortune teller but I speak from experience....
I did it for my first little nephew.
He only stayed with me a few months but he was still a toddler at the time.
I know a few months do not compare to a life time but just wanted to assure you of a few things.
You're gonna bond with this little girl (specially since ya'll are females),
you're gonna grow to love children.
I know you seem kinda "iffy" right now but that's all gonna change
You'll do just fine....
You're gonna love this little girl as if she were your own daughter, and the love alone will insure your's and her's future.
By the way,
I'm no fortune teller but I speak from experience....
miggidy said:
Sarg,
I did it for my first little nephew.
He only stayed with me a few months but he was still a toddler at the time.
I know a few months do not compare to a life time but just wanted to assure you of a few things.
You're gonna bond with this little girl (specially since ya'll are females),
you're gonna grow to love children.
I know you seem kinda "iffy" right now but that's all gonna change
You'll do just fine....
You're gonna love this little girl as if she were your own daughter, and the love alone will insure your's and her's future.
By the way,
I'm no fortune teller but I speak from experience....
I did it for my first little nephew.
He only stayed with me a few months but he was still a toddler at the time.
I know a few months do not compare to a life time but just wanted to assure you of a few things.
You're gonna bond with this little girl (specially since ya'll are females),
you're gonna grow to love children.
I know you seem kinda "iffy" right now but that's all gonna change
You'll do just fine....
You're gonna love this little girl as if she were your own daughter, and the love alone will insure your's and her's future.
By the way,
I'm no fortune teller but I speak from experience....
I raised my niece from birth to 4 years of age and I was 19.....it will be hard because of the character that she already has...see with me I had her since she was a baby so I molded her already...so your going to be taking on alot of things from her...I know that you say that you don't want kids but I think that this could be good for you...and with what you have been threw that would make you a better parent......kids aren't always easy ...but THE FUN MOMENTS ARE THE BEST and it takes away all the bad ones.I would think about it....BUT If after thinking about it you decided that you can't do it.then I wouldn't .
Sarg,
I know, it sort of sucks. Specially if you're that type of person, the type with everything set up ahead of you. It's gonna be a huge change for you.
But be assured that you will adapt to your new life and you're actually going to like it.
Yes, it is sort of like having a pet to an extent lol. But I bet you love your dog so much that you would never even think of getting rid of it
Whether you're a spiritual person or not, good things come to those who help others.
Call it God, karma, luck, or a coincedence. It happens, you'll be blessed....
I know, it sort of sucks. Specially if you're that type of person, the type with everything set up ahead of you. It's gonna be a huge change for you.
But be assured that you will adapt to your new life and you're actually going to like it.
Yes, it is sort of like having a pet to an extent lol. But I bet you love your dog so much that you would never even think of getting rid of it
Whether you're a spiritual person or not, good things come to those who help others.
Call it God, karma, luck, or a coincedence. It happens, you'll be blessed....