Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or retention of
intelligence. So take the following test and determine if you are losing
it or are still a MENSA candidate.
OK, relax, clear your mind and....... begin
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up
now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said,
"bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please
do not attempt the next question. Your brain is
obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may
be that you need to content yourself with reading
something more appropriate such as "Children's World".
If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue
house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is
made from pink bricks and a black house is made from
black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said
"green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here
reading these questions????? Dang..... If you said
"glass", then go on to question four.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time
was politically divided into West Germany and East
Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines
fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining
engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he
has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of
"no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or
West Germany or in "no man's land"?
Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you
said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must
NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your
efforts would not be appreciated. ......
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next
question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a
degree every minute then how many degrees will the
hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or
anything other than "one degree", you are to be
congratulated on getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and
exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final
question.
6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus
from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17
people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off
the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off
and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off
and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get
off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, you dummy.
Read the first line!!
If this is not funny to you, seek help! ~209~
intelligence. So take the following test and determine if you are losing
it or are still a MENSA candidate.
OK, relax, clear your mind and....... begin
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up
now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said,
"bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please
do not attempt the next question. Your brain is
obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may
be that you need to content yourself with reading
something more appropriate such as "Children's World".
If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue
house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is
made from pink bricks and a black house is made from
black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said
"green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here
reading these questions????? Dang..... If you said
"glass", then go on to question four.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time
was politically divided into West Germany and East
Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines
fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining
engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he
has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of
"no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or
West Germany or in "no man's land"?
Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you
said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must
NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your
efforts would not be appreciated. ......
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next
question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a
degree every minute then how many degrees will the
hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or
anything other than "one degree", you are to be
congratulated on getting this far, but you are
obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and
exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final
question.
6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus
from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17
people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off
the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off
and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off
and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get
off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, you dummy.
Read the first line!!
If this is not funny to you, seek help! ~209~
