Blight's Incredible Fucking Stories #1 (The Odd, Funny and Addicting stories)

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Blight

Blight

Sicc OG
#1
May 12, 2002
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GoProGraphics.com
#1
Blight's Incredible Fucking Stories #1

Deja Who???

Part 1.I stop by the grocery store to grab some things and check out some girls on a saturday afternoon. I finally get to my friends party after dark. After a bit I get to talking to the girls there and finding out who is single and who isnt. I like one pretty well and after about 4 or 5 hours im getting head. In the morning i wake up to find i was only one of about 4 people who stayed over. So this girl i 'met' comes back over to the house that morning and when i am talking to her, one of the first things she says is like "do you remember me?" and i say yeah from last night. And she asks, 'no, where from besides that?' So im like i dunno, should i? So she says "Yeah remember yesterday you were at the grocery store checking me out. My mom said she saw you looking at me a few times" and i rmemebered her in those tight pants and staring at her ass and her mom actually catching me. Twice haha. Once was actually me peeking around an isle to catch a look.

Part 2.I was with my friend working in his basement and we needed a few supplies. We go to Lowes and the cashier is pretty good looking. I forget what i said exactly but i remember it being funny. She laughed a bit. I was pissed later i never got or tried to get her number. Later that night i went out with my ex-g.f. and she was running late because her friend was not ready. When i get there to pick her up i am like WTF when i see her friend, cause her friend is this cashier. We both had this look like WTF. These girls were just out of control at the bar. I had an awful time with them. Besides just coming short of starting a brawl in the bar and one of the girls pulling another girls hair, the cashier was all about me when we were playing pool. My ex was like 'dont talk to her, if you touch her ill never talk to you again' and im like 'so what your my ex anyways haha' Well when i think im about to take these girls home and make something happen, halfway home the Girl Cashier in the back is like 'Pull over! pull over!' so i do and before i can even stop she is throwing up all over the back seats. After a bit, sure enough before we can all get back in the car, a cop pulls up. I'm standing with this girl who has her shirt off and barf all over my door at 2:30am. He just asks if we are ok and i was the biggest bitch "Yes sir officer. Yes sir please and thank you" so he dips luckily, and i am hating this girl now, who earlier that day i imagined much differently. How our first night out would have been. At least i already had plans to sell that car that weekend, so i didnt have to clean it too much ;)
 
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nbpsfc

Sicc OG
#2
Feb 9, 2006
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#2
funny shit but story one was missing the juicey parts like what the fuck happened to the girl you were talking to in the morning, did you knock'em
 
Blight

Blight

Sicc OG
#4
May 12, 2002
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#4
Haha dunno about the moral ;)

The girl in the morning was the one from the night before who i didnt realize was from the grocery store. I just got head, didnt knock 'em. I was drunk so it took me a bit tho lol. It was in the bathroom and people knocked. kept knocking and i had it locked (with the lights out) i was saying "im pooping come back later" etc...

Maybe next time will be beer stories ;) but this is the pilot episode
 
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nbpsfc

Sicc OG
#5
Feb 9, 2006
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#5
Blight said:
Haha dunno about the moral ;)

The girl in the morning was the one from the night before who i didnt realize was from the grocery store. I just got head, didnt knock 'em. I was drunk so it took me a bit tho lol. It was in the bathroom and people knocked. kept knocking and i had it locked (with the lights out) i was saying "im pooping come back later" etc...

Maybe next time will be beer stories ;) but this is the pilot episode
Click to expand...

oh hahahaha good shit, damn
 
I AM

I AM

Some Random Asshole
#6
Apr 25, 2002
21,002
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#6
lol....keep em comin, readin stuff like this is entertaining....cause most of us have been through some similar shit...
 
killahoe666

killahoe666

Sicc OG
#8
May 3, 2002
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#8
Blight said:
Haha dunno about the moral ;)
It was in the bathroom and people knocked. kept knocking and i had it locked (with the lights out) i was saying "im pooping come back later" etc...
Click to expand...

This muthafucker said "pooping" that is classic
 
Blight

Blight

Sicc OG
#12
May 12, 2002
3,583
101
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GoProGraphics.com
#12
^^^ I'm sorry if youre steady looking at nutrition labels with your bifocals and pen protector and dont like to check out girls asses in a store ;)

Thanks guys :) . Its good to see everoyne from back in the day. Im trying to get back online a lot more
 
Gas One

Gas One

Moderator
#14
May 24, 2006
39,741
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Downtown, Pittsburg. Southeast Dago.
#14
I'm bored and not going on lunch break. So heres a story.

I was planning on meeting a friend in los angeles, and during that make like 120 bucks flipping somethin. So i jump on the greyhound with my weed and ive got some alcohol. I get there at about 8pm. The girl who i was meeting brought a friend, so basically it was some double date/me shit which was cool w/ me. anyways were chopping it up, everythings looking nice and we head out to some high-scale club somewhere in hollywood.

so were sitting in this big ass seating area and theyre bringing us drinks and shit. people we dont know are coming by and chatting, its really a new experience for me because i dont go to clubs let alone ones for hollywood scenesters. both chicks decide they want to dance.

so were dancing. all 3 of us. im buying beers in order to block out the fact that im actually bieng lame enough to dance on a dance floor.

im going in and out of the backdoor building to smoke blunts. possibly about 4 in an hour. also smoked with some unknown people...their weed, their pipe.

anyways to get to the gist of the story around my 5th beer and all the weed something was terribly wrong. i knew something was wrong because my drunkeness hit way too fucking hard and way too fast for 5 heinekens (im a pretty hard drinker so 5 beers wouldnt do a thing..) I remember ludacris's "move bitch" bieng on and me wanting to cold snuff the chick out i was dancing with.

so i went outside, i figured it was all in my head so i go smoke a cigarette outside. well a freestyle session pops off and im drinking a beer and i black out for a good 10 minutes (note: i think it was WAAAAY longer than that and i didnt know), i just remember bieng crowded by hella people battling and getting all these props and numbers and shit.

so im done yelling outside. i try to walk into the club and thats when i realized something was seriously wrong. something had been slipped in my drink.

so im walking through crowds of people, stepping on peoples legs/feet, damn near falling on people...its all a blur and i just see people mumbling and eyes looking at me...

to my knowledge, there was a line for the male bathroom and i cut EVERYONE, closed the door, locked it and stayed in the bathoom for what had to be atleast 5 minutes if not more. have you seen that styles p video "i get high" where he keeps waking up on the floor of the bathroom and looking in the mirror rapping in shit? swear to god it was like that. i rolled a blunt and took my sweet assed time too like it was a private bathroom. i thought it was.

by the time i got out there, there was like 15 people in line, and about 15 people moaning at the same time. i stumbled to the bar.

sat down on a chair, fell off the chair.
got up, stumbled all over a table. bartender laughed.

i found a seat and smoked cigarette after cigarette hoping it would wear off. i ran into the two girls i came with that i had previously couldnt find.

well, they had no love for me getting shit put in my drink. i had absolutely no idea where my hotel was for the night, or how to get to it (couldnt find the directions in my pocket..) so these chicks straight up left me in downtown LA, at 2am. (near skid row)

from what i was told the next morning, i told my story to an older woman, she took me to her house to sleep it off. i was sort of embarrassed because i was really fucking confused, but whatever.

got my shit and got the the greyhound. got back to san diego. fell asleep on the orange line trolley to the point where i missed my stop, it turned around and went all the way to the other end of the line, and then missed my stop AGAIN. i was still lethargic from whatever was in my drink. i think i shoulda got off at 1:30 pm, and it was like 4.

and i still have absolutely no idea how i ended up with 10 dollars worth of heroin and two crack rocks in my pocket.

oh yeah and the girl told my homie that i had a "fake eyeball" in my pocket and i was freaking people out at the club. i have never had a fake eyeball in my fucking life and if i DID have one, i might actually be cooler with shit slipped in my drink than i am sober.

i to this day have absolutely no idea who put what in my drink and why (why drug a male?) but i have my suspicions after thinking about it for the past 6 years.
 
Gas One

Gas One

Moderator
#18
May 24, 2006
39,741
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Downtown, Pittsburg. Southeast Dago.
#18
i didnt smoke inside, i smoked outside. there was a backdoor where everyone outside was smoking cigarettes but it was right near the dancefloor and bar. as far as the blunt getting rolled in the bathroom i didnt smoke it in there, but i rolled it in there. i dont even remember if i ended up smoking it or not.

i believe it was in 2000.
 
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