ANYBODY SEE THIS SHIT?
Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in—gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary—enjoy!
If you’re half-Mexican and:
Half-African: Afrijoles.
Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican.
Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare.
Half-Canadian: Canexican.
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice ’n’ beans.
Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla.
Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans).
Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex.
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian.
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino.
Half-Flemish: Fletino.
Half-French: Frenchican.
Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, white bean.
Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner.
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever).
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans).
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa.
Half-Honky: Chichonky.
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale.
Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole.
Half-Irish: Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner.
Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian.
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese.
Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew.
Half-Korean: Korexican.
Half-Pakistani: Mexistani.
Half-Panamanian: Panamex.
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui).
Half-Portuguese: Pork and beans.
Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck.
Half-Russian: Brown Russian.
Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican.
Half-Samoan: Samexican.
Half-Scottish: McRiguez.
Half-Turk: Turxican.
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
