A little word play what yall think?

[Rob S4]

Lost languages lace lunatic mind frames/

Games get played by those slayed/

By the lyrics that were layed/

From the mad man of the damned/

Slamed those losers lifting lyrics against S4/

No more will words of hate sedate these bums/

Add a nice mc (me) + a rhyming degree/

Youll see the sums = a prequel that dominated the masses/

Iam tighter then a thong on phat bitches asses.....


Rob S4

What yall think?

 

[Camby Savelle]

I think you need to develop a pattern.

 

[Rob S4]

^^^ Go into it a little more so i know exactly what you mean.

 

[Camby Savelle]

Lost languages lace lunatic mind frames/

Games get played by those slayed/

By the lyrics that were layed/

From the mad man of the damned/

Slamed those losers lifting lyrics against S4/

No more will words of hate sedate these bums/

Add a nice mc (me) + a rhyming degree/

Youll see the sums = a prequel that dominated the masses/

Iam tighter then a thong on phat bitches asses.....

The bold words, are your ryhmes. notice how they are scattered & don't follow any real pattern. you should set yourself a structure & follow it. so it's more constant...I don't see how you could put this properly to a beat. theres 3 diffirent formats & none of them fluintly flow into one another for the changes.